A Tree Stump and Stolen Ice Creams (Part 2) – Mad Chaos: November 13, 1998

A Strange Driver Ahead

From Caltex we headed to my house where I spent five minutes typing hurriedly on the computer and then brushing my teeth before grabbing my jacket and splitting. Heading to Rosemeadow Macdonald’s we met up with Simon and Shawn. Shawn had driven his motorbike the day preceding to Simon’s house so we followed him all the way to his house so he could drop off the mauled bike so long ago by Simon stacking his bike.

There was a car far in front of us all the way with roof racks on top and as we neared Shawn’s street and he was in front of the both of our cars and behind the car with the roof rack we all turned consecutively into his street. The guy in front pulled over for some strange reason and as he let Shawn through Keith decided to also go ahead because the guy was still on the side of the road.

Clearly this guy was deranged as he started to drive back out, I’m not sure if Simon got past him or not. Parking our cars the guy done a U-Turn just down the road and as we hopped out of the car he said something like “I’ll snap you all” and headed off on his way.

The Man With the Tree Stump

Shawn took out his mum’s car to put his bike away and all that was giving us enough time to try and estimate the wording that the guy had used with us. A couple of minutes into our conversation we jumped into the cars and headed off down Shawn’s street. Noticing on the corner of Shawn’s street there was a guy with a large tree stump just bigger than his body size balanced over his shoulder, smoke in hand, glasses on his eyes and one hand gripping the front of the tree stump.

This guy seriously had a problem in his head as he was around 40 years old, scrawny and noticeably flustered by how we were driving behind him. Passing near the guy with the tree log over his shoulder he got himself ready to take a swing but he never did swing the huge stump of a tree. Keith poked his head out of the window and bellowed “What’s your problem mate”.

Noticeably unmoved by seeing us pass him he kept on with his mission and as he kept walking towards Shawn’s house his mission was evident. Keith’s car along with Shawn’s bike were up there and realizing this Keith urgently shouted “Quick man, he’s going to hit my car, get up there”.

Standing Atop the Hill

Simon turned his car around hastily and returning to the top of the hill before he did (Taking another faked swing at the car as we passed him) we jumped out. Keith didn’t start his car to take off as I gathered but rather he took apart his club lock and gave me one piece. Knowing that the guy could see us on top of the hill and what we were doing it started feeling like a gangsta flick and I could hear Coolio singing to me in the background.

Simon opened up his boot to diligently unleash two hockey sticks that he had been saving for a rainy day. Shawn and Simon equipped themselves also with some weapons and from what I thought was going to be a harmless night turned out to be a fight to protect Shawn’s turf. Shawn did have a cause and we all probably would have belted him down from all four directions as he took one lazy swing at us with his large part of a tree.

But as soon as he had seen all of our weapons out and me solely standing atop of the hill staring down upon him, breathing deep, hands loosely by my side, one gripping the larger part of the club lock and looking mean, I know he didn’t want to mess with our shit. That’s why he started walking back the other way and as he disappeared around the corner we all jumped in cars so we could find out where he lived and sort out the problem he started.

Hunting for the Mystery Man

Ever so slowly we journeyed along Shawn’s spiraling street, shining our lights into driveways hoping to see a glimpse of his roof racks. Figuring that he would have found the stick in his backyard we looked around for his car in a front yard but after an extensive half an hour block search and a couple of other streets we knew we had lost him and continued somewhat with less morale but glad that the opposition was not seeing us for that part of the night.

Our plans had been made to travel towards the City and park at the service station where Tatton stole the prawns. The drive there was filled with conversation about how Tatton looked funny stealing the large box of prawns and I was thinking to myself “I’m not going to steal for the night, it’s probably harder than what they make it out to be”.

Easy Pickings at the Servo

Arriving at the service station near Rockdale I was surprised by how easy it had been made to steal from this place. The whole service station was fairly large and the actual office where you buy shit from was small, secluded and hidden behind draping plastic. There was a Hindu type guy working there but he wasn’t even at the counter, he was in the back packing shelves.

Our first break was our greatest and as Keith, Shawn and I walked to the store where there was an ice cream fridge out the front we opened it up anxious and suspicious that we would get busted. Pulling out two Picnic Ice Creams of my own I found that Shawn pulled out three for himself and as all that was being done Keith ran back with us. The shit was fairly easy as we sat at the car eating and laughing of how effortless that had been.

Keith ruined it by knocking on the guys closed door and asking if he could use his toilet because he wanted to do a shit. For the rest of the time the guy was outside so Keith ruined any more of a chance for us to get more shit. As a result we jumped in the car and headed towards the City so we could give the guy enough time to head back inside without any suspicion.

Harbor Bridge Swimming Theory

Heading directly to the City we drove past Oxford Street a couple of times, Imad Street and all the way to the Rocks where I was screaming at cars passing by who weren’t obeying the road rules. The reason I was being so loud and obnoxious to other cars was for the fact that I had eaten two very rich and sugary Ice-Creams and that made me a bit hypo. Heading under the Harbor Bridge we parked the car and sat on the fencing overlooking the bridge and the place that Ralf and I were shining his red light beam at the people that were just coming off the boat cruise.

Theory’s were once again placed into perspective as Keith told me it was at least 1.5 kilometers to Luna Park and he thought it would take one of us at least half an hour to swim there. That to me sounded completely ridiculous and if you would think about it, a swim would just be as long as walking the whole Harbor Bridge, it’s basically the same distance across. Walking is at a average speed of 6 Km/h and I think you can either swim that or a little faster. I know it won’t take me more than ten minutes to walk the harbor bridge because it can’t be much more than 1 Kilometer and a half across.

Back for More Trouble

Heading back to Rockdale and the Hindu guy’s petrol station store we noticed straight away that he was once again behind the counter. That made it much harder now for us to steal and I was getting pissed off knowing that Keith were once again back to their old ways. Keith and Simon didn’t want to steal anything but rather they asked us to steal them some oil for their cars and other shit. For half an hour we waited for him to walk back in the store and he was going in and out frequently but not long enough to do shit.

Simon looked suspicious driving around the block a couple of times to see if he was out the front but the Hindu guy was so blind from inside he wouldn’t have noticed. Jumping out of the car after some garbage men came back to the store (Probably to check if we had robbed it yet) Simon started getting paranoid and was asking us to jump in the car. Shawn and I wanted to get more Ice-Cream and asking Simon to wait a little he took his car around the corner which pissed us off because it now wouldn’t be a quick getaway.

Shawn and I stuck around and I stole a ball and two loads of firewood beforehand but now that the Hindu guy was constantly inside (Which we could see through a rounded mirror outside) we were up shit creek without a car. There came a customer and to him Shawn and I seated next to the firewood would have looked suspicious, that’s why he pointed to us from inside. Upon leaving with his car Shawn and I noticed the Hindu guy come out so we started running down the road trying to find where Simon parked his car.

Stranded by Simon

Looking all around we couldn’t find Simon’s car nowhere and flailing my hands up in the air tormented by his stupidity and anxiety I started arguing about their idiocy with Shawn who agreed. As they drove down the street Shawn yelled at them to pull over and jumping into the car we were greeted by worried silence. I’m usually not the one to start shit but there Shawn and I were going off at Keith and Simon for driving off on us and then leaving us stranded.

If we were getting chased they would have been the reason for us getting caught and even if the car was near Simon probably would have taken off on us. Shawn and I were rightfully pissed off and for that I kept calling Simon a dog. Keith closed his eyes pretending he was asleep so he wouldn’t be a part of it but it was clear that Simon was getting shitted by me always calling him a dog and teasing his actions for the night.