Glitter in Tatton’s Hair (Part 5) – Mad Chaos: March 8, 1999

Writing at Night Again

Monday 11:00 p.m.

My day has almost come to an end but that of my nocturnal nature, that along with my literature has only just begun. Here I sit as is always, with the times and with chronology from my deferred hand. Tonight is another to my thoughts and one would say I am alone but I would tend to think I am bettering myself in the only way possible, being forlorn to association and open to isolation, so that my mind can better itself.

At this moment I don’t feel that ambitious to write in my diary but I know I have to start early. Usually my creative flare begins at 1:00 a.m. in the morning and continues until the early hours of the morning. This sometimes makes me wonder, would I have been such a philosopher and poet if I ran a normal life and normal hours.

Maybe I would have been the same as I did create songs and write some poetry back then but never as good as I have come up with these last few months. Maybe it was the dawning and then conclusion of the lost years that gave me so much emotional store to open up poetically. I’ve known that I’ve had poetical ability for years now along with my musical and computer skills, now I will capitalize on one of them and then in the future, ambition will conquer all.

No Job and Useless Agencies

Looking a month into my future, it’s good to know that I’ve planned my money so that I will be able to pay my bills and still go to the Gym in the time that I won’t get paid but I don’t like the fact that a job still eludes me. These temping agencies have done nothing more than give me false hopes and not call me back.

Hopeful I was that at least one of them would call back considering the credentials I have but still no reply. There is no help in seeking a job these days as there was in my heyday. Back then I had ‘Jobstart’ and that’s how I won my first job with Frank. In those days I also had a chance of getting a government grant that I wouldn’t have to pay back and I was going to get it for my course with JMC but I was a tad too late.

Now the government has taken away any chances, any helping hands and any hope that someone in need will get the assistance they desire. The government to me has turned a cold shoulder and said, “Here, you have a go” to temping agencies and they do nothing. Out of a job, I do wish to be employed again but even though I am trying, the current system and bias employing isn’t helping.

Dreaming of a Laptop

Getting now to chronology (which is usually dreaded in these mind states) I have to shun my triple negative cycles and get on with my memoir orientated job. Before I do, let me just note that my diary does not run my life and when it comes to that stage, I will back down.

However, I love literature, I love poetry and at most times, I love the freedom to express here. My thought to buy a laptop computer will only make my hobbies that much easier and it will bring the next level to my literature. Each month or year I add something new to my diary and with a laptop computer, we’re talking a whole new era of memoirs.

You might think that a laptop computer would be like chaining me up to my diary but I would think of it as releasing me from this daily environment and subjecting me to more creative thought from more creative places. A laptop computer will always be used when I want to use it, not out of drudgery. Thus, a laptop to me is a revolutionary freedom and a huge step in the progress of my literature. The only question now is, when will that day come.

Driving to Tamsen’s Party

Picking up the pieces of Saturday night around 7:30 p.m. I got ready about that time and Ralf came over to pick me up. Not wearing anything spectacular as I knew not much new faces would be at Tamsen’s party I jumped into Ralf’s car with Shawn already in there.

From there we headed to Jett’s house who by the way is moving to Bradbury on Saturday, near Binh’s house. With the four of us now in Ralf’s car he put on the music and we listened to that on our way to Tamsen’s house in the bush part of Macquarie Fields. On the way there Jett and I were dancing in the back and doing the old stare and then look away when the other person looks joke.

Ralf was playing his song of Master P and we all done his famous ‘Urgh’ noise when it came on. Reaching Tamsen’s house just before 8:00 p.m. I remember thinking we were a bit late as the party had started around 6:30 p.m. Parking the car amongst a bunch of other cars I gathered there was a fair few people at Tamsen’s house and although I was told family members would also be there I didn’t see any for the whole night.

Three Groups in One Room

Already getting dark we walked into the area where Tamsen was throwing the party. Noticing that there were two groups already there, we filled up the void in the middle of the room and made the third group. If you were walking in, on the left and in the corner were two couples and a guy with a gay red scrunchy in his hair to hold his long hair in.

Later on in the night I was to find out that this guy was indeed Tamsen’s gay brother and looking at him he had a resemblance to Tamsen with the hair and also an aspect of one of the Power Rangers. If you remember the history of the power rangers, he looked like the one with the long black hair in the original series. On the left hand side of the room and closer to the door I noticed two ladies and two guys sitting on their chairs.

Seeing that there was a good looking blonde amongst them I gathered this was the girl that Tamsen and Keith had been talking about. She works with Tamsen at Hardware House and she was only supposed to be 18 years old but she looked around 23. Reminding me a little of Rena, she was tall and she had nice legs and a great body but she didn’t really appeal to me too great. Her name was Linnea. By the way, Tamsen’s brother was called Callum for reference.

Faces I Knew

The group sitting on either side wall of the middle part of the hall-like room comprised of people I knew. Apart from me, Shawn, Ralf and Jett the crowd of people I knew were Keith, Tatton, Binh, Tyler, Noah, Ned, Min-Su and of course, Tamsen. At the start of our night it looked as if each group was going to stick to themselves and it was going to be fairly cold but I just gathered an icebreaker would come soon.

When we arrived the four of us sat down on seats to the walls in the middle and Tamsen tried to make us feel welcome. Tamsen I feel was being too welcome to my liking and with her constantly asking everyone if they wanted food or trying to take care of situations, I just think she was trying too hard.

Food adorned a large table to one side of the room and amongst it was assortments of meat including chicken, those meat things on sticks and sausage rolls. Also on the table was heaps of fruit, chips to snack on, orange juice for me and beer for everyone else. Confectionery was littered here and there and there was no possibility of any of us going hungry for the night.

Ten Pizzas

Within minutes of our arrival I heard that the arrival of ten pizzas were on their way. This delighted many and as it did of me I will also recite a little story behind that. Simon was coming to the party and he was going to deliver the pizzas himself and then come and join the party but as soon as Rory heard that Tamsen was having a party he decided he would be the one to take them. Sly Rory always wants in on the deal and to be nosey but when the pizzas came it was because Keith picked them up.

Swapping Chairs

With our pizzas now arrived and with Tamsen walking around trying to please everyone but herself the game of swapping chairs had began. With three groups separated by a caught tongue we had to make our fun happen and with one person always without a good seat to sit on we made a game of it.

Whenever someone would stand up another would take his seat forcing him to take a seat elsewhere and this along with our antics kept us alive for a little while. Ned was sitting next to me at one stage and he looked calm but didn’t really act it with his brought on conversations. Maybe Ned was just being Ned and maybe I’m just reaction over my mental awareness. Our antics brought upon us noises to make each other laugh as Jett imitated south park and Tatton just tried to imitate.

Tamsen’s Raffle Gifts

Talk of a raffle started spreading in the air and from Jett I heard that Tamsen was giving everyone a ticket and if it was called out later she would give them a present. How lighthearted the humor from Tamsen was, that she had to give away presents at a birthday party where she was supposed to receive presents. However, my number was brought to me by Tamsen and Jett who was sitting next to me at the time received his as well.

Receiving the number ten Jett told me he didn’t want to win and uttered “I’ve got the number ten and the number one in my hand if you turn it around, I’m not going to win tonight”. These adolescent antics of Tamsen’s came amongst us as she brought out a bag of gifts for her lucky draw. Gathering that it could be a setup my assumption was correct with the first gift, a black gorilla for Ralf.

Everyone had a good laugh at this one and it was the butt of all jokes for the rest of Ralf’s night which his empty headedness didn’t comprehend. As presents kept coming out I knew that it was all set up. Keith received a fluffy red devil mobile phone, Jett received a little spiked plastic critter that Jett threw around, Shawn received a baby ruler set and I received a little teddy bear stamp that had a barbell in his hands. The whole gist was set up and I think that was partly what made the night a little more enjoyable and lubricated for the fluidity of the party and the people getting used to each other.

Glitter and Callum

Linnea’s little group moved outside to have a smoke and I found out a little later in the night that the two guys in her group knew Tatton from school. What’s more, they used to pick on him at school and being somewhat equal with him now, they still had seen him as a screwball, as the rest of us do.

Tamsen’s brother Callum decided to make the party more lively and with everyone in the room and with Tatton by himself he squirted some glitter into his hair. Tatton who had his head down at the time and an already wet looking lot of hair didn’t realize that the glitter being pumped out of a plastic bottle was in his hair until seconds later. Reacting to all of our laughter Tatton backed away from Callum who was standing over him with his gay self and a smile on his face.

Rubbing it into Tatton’s hair I could only imagine what Callum was thinking at the time and through the night, by talking with him and hearing him in conversation, I knew what those thoughts would have been. Callum was wearing black leather pants that grabbed him and a black shirt that clung to his body, was sleeveless and looked as if it was for a little kid as it showed his bellybutton. Along with his fluff of underarm hair, his red scrunchy in his hair and his bellybutton showing he had the true making of someone I would call gay as he was…

Joking With Callum

Everyone apart from the two couples that were sitting in the left hand corner with Callum had moved around. Linnea and her friends were out the front talking with Tamsen and Min-Su as the sensor light was shining upon them and most others that weren’t eating were in the side porch part of the room.

The room itself wasn’t really a room but some awnings and fly-screens covering the slab of concrete ground that was once part of the large front yard. The room was sort of like an outhouse if that’s the right word to describe it. Anyway, Callum, Noah, Tyler, Tatton and Keith were out here and there might have been a bit more of a crowd but I joined it regardless. The issue of Callum being gay was quickly brought into the joviality of all of us.

We didn’t consider him an outsider but rather, we treated him like everyone else, in a sarcastic kind of way. Callum was trying his hand at Noah the most as he had seen him as a good homosexual target but apart from him Tyler and Tatton were also on his list. Callum knew that they were all straight but he thought he would be his usual self and joke about his homosexuality with them as we joked about his homosexuality.