Summer In The Rain
Summer, ‘tis here but what have I done of it but admire the thought of it only. Outside such a word is condoned to be mentioned as rain doth sprinkle generously, with such exuberant droplets of water whistling as they hit ground. The rain doth sprinkle an with torrid veracity outside the calm nature within this room, where my mind grows a plague as we speak.
Able am I to generate ideas and able am I to act upon those more menial problems but of poetry able I am not to accomplish. Poetry doth ache for my attention just as do my legs which ache for the will to be stretched. Calm shall be of the aches that I endure beneath my knees, the same calm I hold now, so serene. It is tonight that I think up a new word that I care not elaborate more than is explained. The word is buoyant (invented as Voyant).
Doubts About Muscle
Shed now some light upon my bodybuilding and you shall hear many sides of a cynical mind, many tongues of skepticism and such pragmatism in my deceptive beliefs. To start shall be skepticism in thinking that my body has not been responding very well regarding muscle gain in the past couple of month’s bodybuilding. This I blame on the belief that my weights have not increased how I would have liked them to and my body weight is practically the same every week. Since I started I have gained a bit of size but not enough for my mind to be content.
Mercy For Ants
Let now the pacifist speak… Scurrilous do I think of the ants so content and so great in numbers circling around the floor in the bathroom. Near my feet they tread when I visit the toilet but I do not tread upon them as I value their space and their importance. Because I am larger and more offensive that means nothing of killing innocence. They are but there to collect and to leave and for their voyage I grant them freedom to roam.
Proud Consumer Speaks
Let now the consumer speak as I look upon the contents of my room and am proud of all the belongings I have bought recently and of a time foregone. My body now does deserve itself of much ointments including Moisturizing Cream, Bryl-Cream, Creatine, Cool Water Cologne, Lynx Deodorant, Mousse and other necessities to life. A consumer yet on ordained payment I buy and of ordained payment do I receive now with content after so long to forget of the real world.
Now that recollection is coming back to my mind and I am not phased. No longer do I think that the world owes me something and no longer do I believe that offers will fall in my lap. Now I am out to redeem, now I am out to explore once again myself as I am.
Four Days Of Positivism
The fourth day of positivism stands within me physically. Where that is great for my study into Creatine, rewards should be prominent. Emotionally I am still upon a decline and for another six nights that decline will persist. Mentally, tonight is hazardous and known to be least effective. As the dawn of zero continues the next sixteen days will probably see a drought but I vow to have finished this newest poetical conception within a couple of nights indulging in concentrating. Let me be off now and if a poem arises, a poem shall be recorded in my memoirs for all of time to see…
Tuesday 10:59 p.m.
Writing The Sonnet
Lessening the content of my literature hasn’t been working these past few days but now that we’ve entered the negative cycle of my mentality I shall tone it down. It hit me last night and now I am without a cause or reason to speak in my Diary for the next sixteen days. Punishment has already been dealt as I tried to finish the unwritten Sonnet that I’ve been talking of and today I spent my time inventing that Sonnet.
The Sonnet sounds good and makes sense of a warrior telling his tale but my words did not come properly today, I had no inspiration and because of that my story wasn’t told properly. Instead of me writing about how a moving landscape would be the same as time I wrote about bloodshed and a warrior riding around on a horse.
Time Like Landscape
There seemed to be one connection with time and the Landscape being his days seemed without an end with is similar to the sun never losing you no matter how far or fast you travel along the countryside. The trees in front of your eyes would flash past you, the birds flying in the distance will flow smoothly through your vision but the sun will always be there unless night falls.
There’s a universal truth in movement connecting to distance and that is the land closer to you seems to be moving faster than the land as far as the eye can see. The further you look the slower an object seems to move out of sight. That is the connection I was trying to make with time. Sometimes I feel like a day goes by smoothly and without notice but looking back on the week you would think where did it all go, it went so fast.
Therefor, looking back upon the week would be similar to the blurred trees closest to you that whiz past your vision and the day would seem like birds in the distance, flowing smoothly out of your sight. And then there are the days of the sun, where time does not move. Evidently my Sonnet was written with my mind being somewhere else but I did achieve a Sonnet irrational as it may seem.
Hard Won Lines
It took me at least half an hour to figure out the first four lines of the Sonnet where I had written more than twenty lines or more of jargon just to make up those four lines. Don’t even ask me about the rest of the poem but it didn’t come easy for obvious reasons and it took me two or three hours to complete.
Last night when I went to sleep the time was 5:00 a.m. and I jumped out of bed once or twice to write down a couple of lines for the poem. These were converted into the last two lines of the poem and probably the most meaningful compared to the more menial twelve lines of the Sonnet. However, the inspiration I achieved from my sleeping state of mind was a creation and one of the latter dimension of my mind. Therefor, I give pleasure in announcing this poem to my literature, enjoy…
The Finished Verse
As the sun doth rise, here upon my steed,
This crested shield shines proud with mine valor,
‘Tis here conceived as I gallop at speed,
Time and this landscape’s flow art similar,
Upon this countryside, this painted sea,
Birds flutter yonder, so vivid they wail,
The sun doth stand unmoved as rides mine steed,
So fast and blurred doth flow trees on mine trail,
This battle fought I, for months did I slay,
Each day seemed endless, prolonged like thy sun,
Each minute, death taketh life so swiftly,
Each moment blurred in this battle I’th won,
Forever shalt bide here mine gallantry,
That even time will be env’ous of me,
Rain And Sleeping In
Today, thank God my rest was not bothered and I did get myself the rest that I deserved. Well, luckily tonight won’t be a drain on my Diary as I hadn’t done much since I woke up at 3:30 p.m. Yes, I did wake up later than usual but looking outside and seeing that it was raining I couldn’t be bothered getting up.
Although I did wake up originally at 1:30 p.m. I did get back to sleep. What I forgot to do today was call up Centrelink to see what is happening to my payment but I can gather they will pay me in a fortnight as they haven’t sent me a letter. I just hope that they stuffed up and they don’t take my payment down next fortnight or cut me off completely.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
