A Knight Armed With Words (Part 2) – Mad Chaos: January 15, 1999

A Knight Takes The Page

Now I shall recite the second Sonnet which was created a quarter of a day following the first. This Sonnet is about all the literary characters that are within me spanning from my poetical aspect to my biographical aspect. Placing myself within the depth’s of a Knight I explain what parts of me speak the dramatic and composed forms of my literature.

This script, by Knight’s toil and travail written

I would keep to write, as if scribe was my lance,

This shield shall be my poetical stand,

The playwright within shall design my stance,

And along this jaunt shall play he my hand,

This damaged armor that pierce foreign swords,

With solemn thoughts shall be the dramatist,

And this sword that wields lays and strikes with words,

Shall be my composer in this great quest,

This helmet from where heralds my two eyes,

Has seen all and thus shalt be chronicler,

This horse that carries my burden so wise,

Bears my life and thus is biographer,

Blade without knighthood shall be avant-garde,

Thus, I’ve become a Shakespearean Bard,

Fourteen Sonnets In Mind

I never really thought that I would get much of a chance to write another poem other than that of the lost years Sonnets but here ‘tis. Who knows how much more Sonnets I will write for the lost years saga but I have a feel for 14 Sonnets, one for each line within a Sonnet. Now to explain this Sonnet as I know best…

I would keep writing as if my literature was my lance (1.1). By Lance I mean the weapon which a night carries but with Lance I derive another meaning as being his name. As if literature was my name I would keep writing literature. The shield defending me against all braves and elements depicts my poetical side (1.2). In which, my shield has received primal battering in war and in caution it is foremost. Thus, when I speak of battles, braving elements and deeds I usually speak them in poetical form as such depiction here.

A playwright is a script writer and director of his dramatic productions as Shakespeare was with his plays. So I speak that the playwright within me (1.3) shall design with detailing words how I shall act in these plays through the whole of the play (1.4). The comparison of damaged armor by foreign piercing swords (1.5) with the dramatist’s thoughts being grave is just. The dramatic battles that would have pierced his armor and passed his shield’s defense would make for great epics and great dramatist poetry or literature (1.6).

Lance Shield And Sword

The sword (1.7) that ‘wields’ and ‘strikes’ is like a composer’s wand that consolidates the direction of music. A lay is a song or poem and with words you can see the great quest be it in poem’s or literature will have composition or songs. With all these depictions of my literature in this poem I try to explain what my life of literature holds. I write songs, I create poetry, dramatic poetry and I also am a chronicler in these pages as well as a continual biographer. All the literary terms I speak of in this Sonnet and its explanations detail where I might use these forms of literature in life.

The helmet (1.9) that gives light and passage to my two eyes have with my eyes seen all my life. Therefor, if my helmet could speak or write it would be good enough to be my chronicler (1.10). And the horse that I ride on day to day and carries my heavy burden (1.11) can be my biographer (1.12). Me being the burden upon his back and wise being the explaining word I just speak that I am a wise burden upon his back.

The horse that travels everywhere with me and bears my life on his back knows enough of me to be such. The last couplet (1.13-1.14) speaks how a Knight without his blade is unusual illustrated as ‘Avant-garde’. And Shakespearean poetry to me is like that blade and so I have Knighted myself in a way that I am now a bard that writes in old English form, of Shakespearean style.

Digging Through Old Poems

Now, the reason I haven’t been able to write in my Diary earlier tonight was for the reason that I’ve gone back in my Diary well until last July to pick up the start of my poetical uprising. Looking back in my Diary to those days I sometimes wonder if it was in fact the second coming of my poetry that pushed Jewell further away. By that I mean she got scared with my first exploits of poetry in our glory days and then with the CD and Sonnet in our dying days, did it trigger an emotional retreat.

Anyway, I’m only up to December of last year and I have found some poems still to be great works but some of them in the former days of my poetry coming out there were some tedium poems. To tell you the truth my days of poetry didn’t begin until the last few days of December with the first poem in a trilogy I sent to Lyssa.

After that moment from what I’ve read even the worst poem is great and that says something for my humble attitude. Poems before this day weren’t all there most of the times and with my loose form of poetry with no real meter they were sometimes hard to understand or too uninteresting to understand. These days I not only add interest to my poems but I challenge the mind to think in a conceivable direction, to picture what I am writing and to give interest to the reader.

The only poem that I showed initiative with before the turn of my poetical flair in late November is the depiction of the lost years and rightly named. This poem I have thoughts to include in the lost years Sonnets but I will leave it to shadow as my frame of thoughts now is completely different to what I was thinking back then. My head was all messed up and now that things have cleared I can write with more sense.

Months Of Messy Verse

To say that things have settled down and my mind has finally cleared is to speak the truth of me. Going through the months of literature and poetry after Lyssa and I broke up, I realized that I started to write poetry more frequently because of our break up and the thoughts in my mind.

There was so much going on in my mind and even though I hadn’t learnt to write Sonnet’s yet I spoke of my life, not how I speak in my Sonnet’s now about many things. For July and August I barely wrote much respected poetry in regard to a meter. Everything was all over the place but still, I got my point across.

When September arrived my head was still messed up from being broken up with Lyssa and juggling Gianna’s calls as well as Jewell. It was a heartfelt month and one in which I realized my fate with Jewell had to end. Because of all this sorrowful emotion going on in my mind and knowing I had no one anymore I only wrote when my mind was at an absolute high boil.

I wrote three poems in September and all three comprised of a meter to some degree but a chaotic form when it came to rhyming. The three poems written were all about the lost years and in this month I believe I wrote my most favored poem in that era with the same name. October was pretty much the same when it came to scarcity of poems.

December Finds My Voice

This once again was due to me being messed up and even though Lyssa was back in my life with a more than friendship grip I was still confused with my emotions. November was pretty much the same but in this month my life started to get back together and the fights with Lyssa about her involving Ali in conversation stopped. Lyssa learnt to let go of what bothered me as well as letting go her thoughts of other guys.

In November Lyssa and I became more comfortable around each other and instead of having to put on an act just to get onto each other we would know to get onto each other without a problem. This reaction that we both had towards each other (As if we were back together but not at the same time) created most of the pieces of my life to fall back together and with that poetry started to creep out of the woodwork, good poetry.

From July all the way into late November all poetry I would feel the need to class as second grade compared to what I can now accomplish with my knowledge. There were poems back then that were too repetitive or they would just get to you with continual use of words that sound the same. At best I would consider that there were two or three good poems in that era but don’t think that era useless, it was very important to my upbringing.

The poems in December seal my enthusiasm to write not only of my life but of different settings. Thus, I became a playwright for short epics and Sonnets with story lines, heroes and martyrs. In December my strong entrance did not falter and still to today I am making much of a better improvement upon myself. In December I only produced one or two laggard poems with slight insipidity. For how much more longer can this carry on.

A Tooth Gives Way

I hope it doesn’t stop when I find myself a job.

Now before I head off to sleep let me just note my day’s adventures and a couple of other things. First off the bat, I have just been having something to eat and what do you know, something very hard in my mouth, something very small. Taking it out I hoped for the best but feared for the worst when I gathered it was part of a tooth.

My upper tooth on my right hand side, another molar. So now I have two holes in my teeth, both on that side but one on the top and bottom. I’ve known about both of them for a while now but I guess you can’t stop a good tooth from rotting no matter how much you brush the sucker.

Out Of Whack Biorhythms

Another point I would like to make is the immense amount of poetry I have been able to kick off these past few days and the start of this month. I have reason to believe that something could be up with my Biorhythm Cycles as talent seems to come to me when it shouldn’t, on my negative cycles. For a while now I have been seeing that on the earlier half of my negative mental cycle I tend to be much more active in mind than the start of my positive aspect.

For that reason and some research I have concluded that I’m out of whack around ten days. Taking a look at my status I believe that my positive mental aspect runs from +10 to -9 in my normal cycle and from -10 to +9 is my negative cycle. As you can see in these past couple of days leading into the middle of my supposed cycle I have been seeing immense increases in poetical exuberance, could I be right.

My physical aspect is also off whack and if that’s the case then so is my emotional aspect but it’s harder to pick that out. My physical aspect I believe is out by at least six days but I won’t record that just as yet without observation.

A Cute Slip Of The Tongue

All that I have to speak about having done today is my conversations with Lyssa. Firstly she gave me a call at 2:00 p.m. and woke me up for the day. I’m not sure what we chatted about but it lasted a couple of minutes. When Lyssa rang me that night around 7:30 p.m. Lyssa told me how it was raining in the City and she was traveling with Devon to DX.

Lyssa was getting all wet over the face and she was getting cold and in her state she yelled out to Devon “Tony, I’m cold.” Devon doubled looked her and then blurted “What.” Lyssa under her breath said, “Nothing” knowing she made a cute mistake. Lyssa told me the reason she had done that was because she thought of me and how she only whinges to me. That is the truth though, whenever Lyssa is angry or has to whinge you would find her around me.

Chasing A Job Lead

Lyssa also didn’t get me the Thursday paper so until next week I have to wait again. I took it upon myself also to ring up Fairfax who was looking for a Word Processing Operator trying my luck. They should be calling me tomorrow if I’m lucky but then, who’s going to call back these days. And apart from our readying of tomorrow Lyssa and I didn’t talk of much more but burp to each other on the phone, well I did anyway.

Now that I’m done and I’ve had a strenuous amount of thinking and typing I should get going. Let me just advise you that tonight I started another poem. This one should be somewhat special as I am honoring Shakespeare for being my inspiration and showing how inspired I was by setting it out in my Elebrium Sonnet form.