My Finest Sonnet Arrives Unannounced (Part 2) – Mad Chaos: February 10, 1999

Her Changed Art Project

Now onto another controversial subject… I wonder if my breaking off ties with this ladylike third portion of the lost years has made her change her end of year art project completely. What now holds for her present and future pictures, did she change them and did she get the utmost inspiration from her emotional break up.

I would to a Sonnet write about her artwork and place it unto my words but as she tried of me, it would only be emotional plagiarism so I think not to include such as that. This character so strong emotionally to me in the lost years thought to change her idea of three podiums for the past, present and future and in her own depiction of life as we knew it. She chose instead three portraits of emotional value, emotional, just what she is.

Wednesday 5:02 a.m.

My Finest Day for Poetry

Well, would you ever guess that my most obscured day for poetry would turn out to be my finest day of poetry, nope, neither did I. This next poem not only has to do with the lost years but I believe that it is upon the finest if not the finest poem that has ever embraced the distance between my eyes and my avant-garde thought. Now, this poem did have three or four lines that were already philosophized and they were included in this Sonnet but just the way that I have molded them into the structure.

It is distinguished and I do say that with all humbleness as I widen my eyes in content as I do say it. The way I received inspiration and the way I knew how was to read old segments of my Diary around the time it was confusing in the lost years. I’m sure now I can use her name so I will to explain this more thoroughly. Upon reading how my relationship was back in the day with Jewell I do believe that it was carried forth with lust.

As there were no broken hearts when Jewell and I stopped talking on the phone (From my side anyway) I have more reason to believe it was only lust and only now do I realize how stupid I was to go behind Lyssa’s back. Also, now I realize that I was looking through rose colored glasses when I wanted to see Jewell and didn’t see too much wrong about having to sneak behind Lyssa’s back in order to do it. Nevertheless, that didn’t happen but that’s a good thing. This poem now concludes another chapter in my story of the lost years and thus, a brief explanation is necessary before review.

The poem is so saturated with meaning that a laden explanation would not be enough. Without getting too critically into the issue, the Sonnet is about me speaking of the lust in the lost years. Also, the effects of the lust, time’s helping hand after the lost years to help forget about it and finally, love’s role to once again step into my life and help me out of lust’s painful rut. Here now, in full is the Sonnet that admonishes all other Sonnets of latter times. It has lips of cogency and therefore speaks, “I have in the name of art, another”…

The Sonnet in Full

Time is fodder to unbeknownst I, That feeds yon will to press forth

(‘The Lost Years’ Sonnets)

Lust, hath her outstretched hands tendered my way,

That even wee Cupid didst her cloth blind,

And didst her charred heart once thus lead astray,

This veiled common tapestry of my mind,

These woes that to my present years attend,

Hath time’s shill in pending days forsaken,

And time’s fodder shalt forsaken ascend,

That he himself shall his tail mistaken,

O’, dormant love these ‘Lost Years’ cared not wake,

Shall to you hurrah for time’s nourished health,

And now is lust clothed like love’s old opaque,

That shalt ne’er be loved more than love itself,

That with time, with love and unbeknownst I,

This will I speaketh hath carried me by,

Lust Reaches Out

Sense shall be made now of this elaborate poem, well I think it is anyway… Lust has come to me with outstretched hands and thus, in the lost years Sonnets lust is having to take the form of Jewell, rightly noted as ‘Her’. For this reason, line (1.1) signifies the starting role of Jewell as being the vixen I lust for and in my lines as has truth in reality, she did not stop me from lusting her and thus, her hands were rightly outstretched.

Cupid, being used in line (1.2) has been seen as belittled (Seen in the words ‘Wee’ meaning little) as opposed to the stronger lust that was more apparent in the lost years. Love, which is symbolized by Cupid was blinded with a ‘cloth’ because of and at the hand of lust. Lust in line (1.3) is depicted as being unfavorable and without heart. This can be seen by the phrase ‘Charred heart’ meaning that lust’s heart had been burnt away, more black and caliginous than beneficial.

This heartless lust that in the lost years did take over my love for Lyssa in certain areas led my mind astray (1.4). The phrase ‘Common tapestry’ means the basest of what your emotions are comprised of, the common emotions. These common emotions are things like love, anger, caution, eagerness and pretty much what derives around the four humors of the body. Regardless, when you add ‘Veiled’ to ‘Common tapestry’ you automatically think that it is an emotion that should be hidden.

Such an emotion is lust and therefore, lust was led astray and misguided in the lost years (1.4) inside the pool of emotions that were the basis of my emotional mind. Thus, my lust did not only blind my love but it unto itself did misguide as I was not chasing with blinded love but with lustful love and at that, not true love.

Time and the Hired Decoy

The second quartet changes pace from a sought after lust to my present grievances or rather, lack of them (1.5). The ‘Woes’ defined were the lustful days after Jewell and all the wrong that was pursued while love’s eye was blind and lust was at full bloom but misled. Line (1.6) is rather tricky to explain so I shall with the utmost particularization. Firstly, a ‘Shill’ is basically someone hired to work as a bystander or a decoy so that others may be lured into the proceedings.

Time has employed such a lure to work in those pending days where I try to forget about Jewell and the lust attached. Thus, in those pending days after the lost years where I chose to forget about Jewell time has helped with his ‘Shill’ bid for me to forget about Jewell. In this, line (1.6) I speak how with each passing day after I stopped talking with Jewell it has become easier to not think of her and not to lust over her thanks to time’s ‘Shill’ that did persuade lust to be forsaken, meaning given up or abandoned.

Time Forgets Its Tail

Line (1.7) goes on to note that with ‘Time’s fodder’ being his hours and days and as time passes I will forget more of the past lust. This is shown in the words ‘Shalt forsaken ascend’ meaning the lust that was forgotten more with each passing day shall be more forgotten with each passing day. The forsaken will in turn ascend, it will be more forgotten.

In fact, lust will be forgotten so much with time’s passing that time (1.8) won’t even remember the past. The past is shown to be the ‘Tail’ (1.8) of time as it is the hindmost of any warm-blooded vertebrate. The word ‘Fodder’ (1.7) is used because to me, time is like food that I crave. Only with time will I forget about the past and the lost years it provided so I am hungry for it and thus, treat it like fodder.

Love Returns to the Picture

The third quartet once again changes pace. From sought after love, to diminishing present grievances and finally to the rebirth of love and it’s help in ridding lust. To an extremity, love can be seen as the ‘Shill’ that helped time heal my wounds against love. In that light, I will jump forward to line (1.11) just to note that with unveiled love that is no longer blinded by lust’s cloth has in turn blinded lust with the same cloth.

‘Love’s old opaque’ regards the lost years as being a very obscured time for love as opaque tends to show how dark its glare upon my world was with the cloth lust embedded upon him. With passion I start upon line (1.9) as if to greatly welcome love back. This love I might add has been coming from Lyssa and it didn’t so much as help me rid my lust (As I had done that completely by myself but with Lyssa in mind) but Lyssa was there when there was no one.

Thus, Lyssa did attend to me with her love but now that I am completely over the thought of Jewell (Without Lyssa’s help I might once again add) the love between Lyssa and I has been diminishing. That would be for the reason that Lyssa and I know we are not getting back together. It has nothing to do with lust but besides no real worth to the Sonnet, I thought I might be inclusive. ‘Dormant’ in line (1.9) indicates that love in all the lost years was sleeping (Which is not all true) and because I was infatuated with lust I ‘Cared not wake’ love or treat it above lust.

A Cheer for Love

Love’s awakening after the lost years was given a cheer (1.10) of ‘Hurrah’ and it was praised for nourishing time back to health. By this I mean the time back in the lost years was like a bad apple where everything was emotionally unstable but after the lost years love picked me back up and nourished with good apples time’s skin. Skipping now to line (1.12) it just comments how lust will never be more loved than love itself. As love does not have to veil itself in my emotional mind it has much more power to be greater and thus, it belittles lust.

The Couplet Explained

The couplet at the end wraps everything up and explains how I have been carried out of lustful thought with time, with love, with myself and my will to overcome the odds. ‘Unbeknownst I’ simply means that I no longer want to be known to lust and therefor, I veil myself from lust in order to overcome it. I am unbeknownst to lust, I am no longer known to what the past brought and in turn, I am no longer known to past lust, that being Jewell.

Too Inspired to Sleep

There you go, that’s the whole explanation of my newest Sonnet and you would never guess what the time is now. Well, I usually used to go to bed at 5:00 a.m. on a good day and I would never exceed that time but these days my sleepless nights seem to add on at least two hours. The time is now 6:26 a.m. and because I am hyped up about my Sonnet I do not feel like sleeping yet.

As a matter of fact I have been so inspired that I wrote another immensely heartening ten syllable line and I feel that another Sonnet is within the making, it’s only a matter of time. That for the last couple of days I have had the World Book Dictionary downstairs so I can learn new words as I go along without having to run upstairs to the lounge room all the time. Who knows for how much longer I will hold them down here but you can be sure that they will be sufficiently used until my intellectual time is up.