Resentments, Workouts and a Broken Down Car (Part 3) – Mad Chaos: October 28, 1998

As the movie finished Simon and Shawn headed home and with her head down and remorse in her eyes Tamsen walked to her car. The atmosphere between Keith and Tamsen wasn’t right and in the car he told me that he had a word to Tamsen and asked her to do what she thought was right with their relationship but he didn’t actually ask for two weeks away from her. Keith told me that this would have definitely broken them up so he chose the safe way through. Keith told me that before they used to have sex everyday but for the last two weeks Tamsen hasn’t had sex with him. She’s always come up with excuses to get away from him and we both gather she’s been cheating on him. Keith wanted to believe this as he told me of how Tamsen used to keep letters written to her from Osama back in the day when he used to like her and she was going out with Binh’s brother. My premonition is simple, Keith and Tamsen will break up and from that will become distance with Jett, Min-Su and the rest of them. Break ups cause animosity as you have seen with Lyssa and I but I have been able to contain most of the hatred carried towards me. Lyssa’s friends don’t hate me and I know none of my friends hate Lyssa except for Tamsen who doesn’t really matter in this calculation.

From the movies we headed down Queen Street to see if any cars were out for the drags anymore but no one was out after midnight. Lyssa was down there for the runs again with Ali and Penelope and I have a feeling that part of the reason Lyssa is going down is because Penelope is trying to set her up with one of Tod’s friends I had seen walking today in Bradbury. Before I leave now to my Blank Verse let me just say that Capricorns are alike and because Ali is like me I know what his moves are, I know what he’s like and I know what goes on in his head regardless. I can sit here and say that he has something for Lyssa because he admitted it to me one day late in our relationship, he admitted he was attracted to her. That shines the light upon him to reveal his reasons for befriending Lyssa even when I was still friends with her. I hated him for speaking to Lyssa in front of me that night I took her out to Chili’s and they were talking about him going to her birthday party. I hated the time that Ali kept spying on his girlfriend when they went to that restaurant in Campbelltown I think once again for Lyssa’s birthday or Carleigh’s. He talked to her that night like they were best friends and put his hand in front of me like I wasn’t even there. For that he deserves no mercy, for taking away the shadow of my livelihood, my love, my dignity and my respect, he deserves to suffer one day and he will get what comes to him…

The four elements, earth, water, fire, air,

Where I am comprised of earth to defend,

With my solidity in words doust share,

For one so disloyal to comprehend,

Hither upon mine sand doth rest water,

To which cries with sorrow, once protected,

This maiden so wounded, an earth’s daughter,

Calleth her Lyssa, in peace so avid,

Fire doth breathe vigilant winds to which spreads,

Treachery, deception and betrayal,

From the air the wind shall blow to turn heads,

To the earth the wounded fall soft but frail,

From which water shall bring droplets of tears,

For the earth wounded from fires selfish fears.

Now I must stop there and get myself to sleep but let me just explain my poem a little bit. First of all, of the four elements I am earth, Lyssa is water, Ali is fire and Penelope is air. Water and Earth are the only two solid elements opposing the incarnation of fire and air, which are not solid. The first four lines speak of what my element is and how I will express in words my story of anger. The next four lines speak of Lyssa being water, vulnerable and wounded. The next four lines speak of Ali and Penelope spreading the rumor that caused me to hate the both of them. When the air speaks which is Penelope explaining to Lyssa her Chinese Whisper of a story she naturally turns heads and makes Lyssa hate me. ‘To the earth the wounded fall soft but frail’ means that Lyssa is wounded by the hurtful words but heeding that it’s only Penelope’s word she falls soft but frail, she is still suffering. The last two lines explain how Lyssa will one day cry for me one day for what she hasn’t been seeing all this time. Lyssa will regret the day she realizes that the selfish acts of Ali to take me away from Lyssa so he would have no fears of becoming her better friend. Well, it’s 4:00 a.m. and I’m probably speaking out of my ass when I say these words because I can hardly keep my eyes open but now it’s time to go…

Wednesday 11:52 p.m.

The month is now coming to a slowdown but it still hasn’t become negative for me which is good. Today was a borderline of boredom where I sat at home for most of my day and then finally went out. Today I woke up at 1:00 p.m. and that was due to a call from Lyssa. She was at work and while we were talking she informed me that her and Kieran are going out to dinner tonight as friends. Kieran always has been the type to befriend girls and I know they won’t be doing anything with each other. Lyssa was also reading portions of ‘The Rule Book 2’ to me. Since Shayma broke up with her boyfriend Lyssa thought to lend her the original book and as Shayma has been trying to buy it for herself it always goes out of stock before she can get her hands on it. Lyssa also informed me that she felt intimidated last night when I was in Mobil with all my friends. It turns out that when Lyssa walked in everyone’s head went down, all my friends put their heads down. The probable reason for that was probably for the fact that my friends didn’t know whether to say hello or not because they’re not sure how I feel about Lyssa and they gather that it would have been better not to approach her in any way. Maybe they thought I would bite their heads off if they did say anything to Lyssa. Twenty minutes passed as we talked and it was finally time for Lyssa to go. Informing Lyssa that I would give her a call when she came back from work to be nice, we said our good-bye’s and got to what we were doing.

Waking up from my phone call I made my way to the shower and to my surprise noticed a letter from the link. Hoping that it wasn’t to ban me from any future payments I was shocked to find a fortnightly form in there. After at least three months of not receiving a form and having to attain a form from the offices I finally get one. How long this will last I’m not certain but I know I will probably be getting paid for the next month. Having myself a shower I made my way upstairs to what I thought would be a feast because my parents were out shopping for the fortnight. As usual I was disappointed with the selection but I had myself a good meal. For three hours I sat around doing nothing and knowing that Keith is working more days at work I gave Shawn a call. Him and Tatton were there at his house just about to head out to find a part for Tatton’s car. Inviting myself out they came over while I was getting ready and wearing my hair out we made our way to Blaxland Road.

While Tatton and Shawn were asking inside for a carburetor part I walked next door to Imad’s work and after the customers had left started chatting with him. Imad introduced me to a work-mate there and we chatted for a little while before I came back out to talk with Imad. It seems that the guy that owns this petrol station only hires Lebanese guys because that’s all I see there. Imad and I didn’t really talk for long because I had to scoot off next door but I thought it would be good to have a chat with him. I’m wondering two things about Imad. One, his car still looks like it’s been hit by a couple of cars, what does he invest all his money in. Second, I’m just wondering if Imad has found himself another mistress instead of Pippa because he needs himself a change.