Milton Drops By
Milton decided it was time for him to pop over Lyssa’s house and as Kieran had come back from giving Kuper a lift to his friends house Milton stepped in the door “You again” he said in what was supposed to be a sarcastic tone but deciphered in ‘Old Boyfriend’ language that meant “What the fuck are you doing here, you’re not going out with Lyssa anymore and I was trying to impress her by sending her a bunch of needless Roses again.
Most of the guys that have fancied Lyssa I have spotted, like Devon, Travis, Stan and Milton, I’ve got the touch. Kieran looked as if he didn’t really want to do anything but drive himself home and I know he was thinking that he would have to give me a lift home. About five times he said he was going home but as we all waited for him to get up he would engage himself in conversation and keep himself grounded. Kieran must have felt rude to leave and although he didn’t want to drive me home it looked as if he was just hanging for either Lyssa or I to ask him for that favor.
Lyssa Takes Pity On Me
Just after I asked Lyssa to come over for the second time and while we were outside and I was in deep thought Lyssa glanced at me a couple of times and could see I was depressed. For that reason and the same depression that I showed while Milton was over prompted Lyssa to ask Kieran if he could drive both Lyssa and I to my house because she wanted to play my computer.
Never before have I let my depression get to me so much that Lyssa would feel sorry for me but to what seemed like the end of the world to me in rejection was quickly turned around in aid of me. Lyssa must have felt sympathetic but I didn’t want her to feel sorry for me, I wanted her to just come over because she wanted to be at my house.
Now I felt more like a loser for changing Lyssa’s decision and as she told Kieran and Milton that she was coming over to play the computer I added to the lie stating some news about the internet and how I want to get it so they would believe more in our little scheme. Finally, after half an hour of saying he was going to go Kieran finally got up knowing now that he was giving us a lift and probably a little relieved that it didn’t take too long.
Ironically, we ended up jumping in Milton’s car because Kieran wanted to go home and Milton had nothing to do. With that we said goodbye and as Lyssa took nothing but her larger purse and the clothes on her back we jumped into Milton’s car, me in the back again.
Jealous Of Kieran
Since the start of the day Lyssa had the very first G-String that Lyssa and I bought together and the back see through part of the G- String is higher than her pants. For the whole day I was noting that I could see her G- String and making funny remarks about it. When Kieran and Milton came over I noticed Lyssa always pulling down her top so none of her G-String could arouse their minds but I’m not sure if they had seen a glimpse of it or not.
Right at the end of the night as we were all leaving Lyssa and Kieran were having fun jokingly tapping each other on the leg and then Kieran decided to jump up, pull Lyssa off the couch with her quilt still intact and then spin her around on the ground. There I sat not able to really do anything but keep a big fake smile on my face hating every minute of Kieran mucking around with Lyssa.
At times Kieran was sprawling on top of Lyssa but Lyssa didn’t like this and without upsetting him she pushed him away with her legs while still on her back. I’m sure that Kieran would have received some sensual satisfaction from doing this.
Riding With The Enemy
Being in Milton’s car was like being driven by the enemy and Lyssa being the hostage captivated in the front seat by my adversary. The trip was somewhat quiet and Lyssa didn’t really talk that much to Milton despite the fact he kept to the speed limit. Rain was still dribbling down but now it had almost ceased to exist. Droplets of water flourished upon my brow as I jumped out of Milton’s car and thanking him as Lyssa did for the lift.
Quiet Thoughts On My Bed
Confidence was not with me for Sunday and that was mostly due to Lyssa and the way I felt like a loser by forcing her with my face of depression to come over. Lyssa sat on my bed and started reading some of my books and sitting myself on my seat giving Lyssa some space I also gave myself some time to think. Why did Lyssa come over, what was she after, was she after anything, was she just trying to be nice because I was depressed and did Lyssa had anything sexual on her mind.
Those are some of the questions that I asked myself to realize the reason that Lyssa made the trek to my house but I knew part of the reason was because she had seen me depressed. Trying to find my words I was having trouble once again with confidence and opted to play poker or something with Lyssa. Grabbing the cards I sat next to her on the bed and as she kept reading I placed the cards aside now seated with her.
My face became somber as these thoughts of being a loser and forcing Lyssa over to my house became prevalent (word was mistaken and a new similar word created. See archives). Lyssa had seen my sadness and asked what was wrong but I would continually shun the truth. What could I say, that I missed Lyssa, that I missed ‘Love’, that I needed Lyssa to sleep next to me for the night in order to keep me sane.
Closer Than Planned
No, instead when Lyssa turned to ask once again what was wrong figuring it could have been a headache I asked to lie next to her and turned towards her she also done the same. Lyssa burrowed her head between mine and my shoulder and as I placed my arm around her and she had done the same the simplicity of her running circles with her finger across my back made me feel more sorrowful knowing that I loved what Lyssa was doing for me and I didn’t want it to go away ever again.
Nevertheless, fairytale nights always end and I knew that our night would not become a fairytale ending where Lyssa would do what she hoped of me in the first two weeks after we broke up, she hoped I would fall back in love with her…
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
