This is some sort of new record for length of months in my Diary. Still I have three more days to elaborate for and I’ve written 262 pages. What else is amazing, the Final game where Brisbane played and beat the Bulldogs by 20 points or more. To the first half the Bulldogs were miraculously winning but the second half brought back the Brisbane tidal wave that washed away any hopes for Bulldogs.
Listening to my system right now and still having this damn cold I’ve realized that tweeter sounds kill my ears. For some reason my cold has made normal volume from the tweeters unbearable and at most times I have to turn it down to nothing. What else has the flu done you ask… Well apart from giving me a sore throat and a blocked nose nearly all of the day I’ve had head-spins and when I close my eyes and try to walk I am all over the place. The sun is also brighter than it normally is and my eyes water to look upon it.
For most of Sunday I was waiting for Shawn and Jett to come over but surprisingly neither of them came over. When half time came up from the Grand Final game my phone rang. Picking up the receiver I wasn’t really surprised to find it was Keith. Having a real sore throat I couldn’t speak to him that loud and couldn’t even yell at the game effectively. Keith was just looking for Shawn and telling him he wasn’t at my house I gathered he wasn’t at his own house either.
The game was full of suspicion in the first half as almost every try was surrounded by speculation. In the last ten minutes of the game Lyssa rang me up sounding very quiet. Sitting on her veranda she was enjoying the sun and looking out the window I knew it was a beautiful day but I probably wouldn’t get to enjoy it. Lyssa and I talked about her coming over and with her mum in the backyard Lyssa asked if she could get a lift over. Her reason was so that she could get some work done on the computer and I was wondering why she was using that excuse if she was sleeping over for the night. Lyssa sounded more eager to come over than she did last night. After ten minutes of speaking to her mum Lyssa told me she would be over in an hour if she cleaned her room. Lyssa told me that she thought Lyssa was using me by coming over, he. Speaking for a couple more minutes Lyssa told me how Kieran called earlier in the day and she could have gone to the beach if she woke up. But Lyssa woke up at 4:00 p.m. and she noted “I hate when I wake up too late and the day is wasted”.
Jumping off the phone I was happy with the outcome but my flu was persistent. My face was heated and red as if there was an imaginary pair of hands clutching my neck. On top of that I was getting very dizzy just walking around so I thought taking a Panadol would be the right alternative. Almost instantly my dizziness ceased and the heat protruding from my face was halted for a while. Peacefully I could watch the game now knowing that I wouldn’t be feeling that bad. Oh yeah, the preliminary game was pretty good just before the Grand Final started. It was the under 23’s where Bulldogs played Parramatta. The scores were almost heading the same way with the first grade game one week ago but at the end the bulldogs won. There was a pretty big fight in this game, that was the good part.
When my conversation was finished with Lyssa I asked my parents for some milk money and revved up from the game jogged all the way down to the shops without stopping. That was a bit new to me as I would usually run out of speed, especially with this flu. Running cleared my sinuses but the downer was that my throat had become intensely dry. Puffed, I walked to the Supermarket and noticed a girl seated on the shaded tables by herself, two years younger than me and pretty. While looking at her she was looking back at me with the same awe. Making my way into the Supermarket I noticed a girl in there with a casual black skirt and black top. She had blonde hair and was walking around. Also being two years younger this girl grabbed my attention more. Both the girls had blonde hair but the one in the Supermarket looked more pure and flawless, more sweet and delectable. Pacing around to the milk section I picked up my package and made it a mental note to walk down the isle the girl was in. Making my way down the last isle where the confectionery was I noticed her packing the fridge and gathered she worked here. That was great and as I walked past her slowly I gave her a glance and out of the corner of her eye she looked at me and that was it. Paying for my milk I was back out and on my way home glancing at the girl one more time that was seated on the tables. Walking around the corner to the entrance gates another Supermarket girl worker was coming around. This one I knew somewhat and with her blonde hair and constant smile on her face she walked past me. This girl by the way has got some tremendous eyes.
Taking an intermission break let me speak of a thought in my head. To my beliefs my musical flair started to come out when I met with Kathryn. Before her there was no girl that I loved enough to send her a present like a CD or think of labeling a certain day or feelings towards someone with a CD. The only person I was really serious with before Kathryn was Clover and I don’t think I sent her much presents, not a CD anyway. So, ever since meeting Kathryn and sending her a CD I’ve been stimulated by the words and meanings of songs. After Kathryn there was Phoenix and because I was hurt by her I remembered her by a song to soothe me and make me hate her more. The song was ‘No Second Chance’ by ‘Whoz Who’ and I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned that in my Diary before. Even though I didn’t send Phoenix a CD, the love wasn’t there but hate assisted me in selecting a song for mood. Then there was Jewell and after that was Lyssa and I think you can consider the two CD’s made for Jewell and the one for Lyssa (And also Titanic that I bought for her) exceptional examples. There was so much thoughts and feelings, so much emotion within these CD’s and I don’t think you can argue that point. Before I move onto the next paragraph and back to Chronology let me just end with this sentence… Jewell played too hard to get, she made it hard to have her heart and as a result I came to my senses.
An hour had passed waiting for Lyssa and she called me informing me she was coming over. The time was reaching 6:30 p.m. so I set up my room awaiting Lyssa’s arrival. Listening to my system I didn’t hear Lyssa arrive until I turned it off for a hunch and Lyssa called out. Opening the door I noticed that Lyssa really wasn’t dressed up that much and if I wasn’t mistaken, wasn’t trying much to impress me. Walking into my room we both sat on my bed as Lyssa took her shoes off and we started talking. This initial stage was when I learnt Lyssa wasn’t sleeping over for the night. “When did you ever ask me to sleep over, you just asked for me to come over”. That shocked me somewhat and asking Lyssa if she would like to stay over for the night she shook her head side to side, no. At a loss for words in those seconds I didn’t try showing my disbelief. That’s when the pieces fit together as Lyssa’s mum was picking her up later in the night.
Lying down on the bed to watch television Lyssa was persistent in watching it from a seated position at the back of the bed. I could tell this was going to be a confusing and long night. Probably needing a bit of motivation I asked Lyssa to come lay next to me but she insisted that she would lie down if she wanted to. Lyssa was acting very defensive towards me and I knew this was her final test. Coming over my house I gathered that Lyssa had the thought in her mind that she wouldn’t cross a line like Jewell had that day of coming over. The line was to get onto me as Lyssa wanted this to be the ending of that relationship, thus, the big test. Nearing the end of the night I realized this more and more and knew that Lyssa didn’t have any intentions as she wasn’t wearing very nice lingerie. That wouldn’t sound like much of an issue but it helps as being a deterrent. Lyssa would get embarrassed of her lingerie and not want to take her clothes off making sense of the fact she wore them in the first place.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
