A young woman hands yellow tinted glasses to a young man in a red shirt on a nightclub stage, 1990s Australia.

Lyssa Punches Me Then Praises My Dancing (Part 3)

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This is an excerpt from a real diary entry from the Diary of a Mad Chaos, written on July 18, 1999. Learn more about the history of the diary

The Night Properly Begins

Thus, our elaborate night of intricate detail begins, that of the distinguished events undertaken that changed my perception of myself and helped me further step out of my shell. As Tyler and I walked in together we made our way through the crowd which was now chock full of people. Strobe lights were running a muck amongst the overcrowded dancefloor and as we made our way through the thicket of elated punters we met up with Ace and Nero.

Standing on the outskirts of the bottom portion of the dancefloor, we were in the section of ground between the seating behind the DJ Box and the opposing seating from the bar to the far wall. Standing just in front and to the side of Ace and his brother, we all watched Tyler eagerly jump up onto one of the empty podiums where he started confidently waving his hands around, a small cheeky smile of confidence.

Working myself up to the rhythm felt like such short notice and for the start of the night I was tapping my toes and rustling my arms slightly. Despite the rush of people having a great time around me, I thought the night wasn’t going to be so favorable and Tyler just getting up onto a podium didn’t help me at all in assurance.

Minutes into my getting accustomed to the adaptability of the night, I started blending into the commanding order of people grooving around me. With Ace and Nero grooving behind me I gained a boost from their confidence and before you knew it, I was having myself a decent time. Nevertheless, as I was tapping my shoes, it appeared in my congested atmosphere that I was scoping out the stage with unwavering eyes, looking for the best opportunity to pop up.

Lyssa Throws A Punch

Ace and Nero were having a great time, doing their little sliding grooves, pointing their fingers to one side for each beat while they slid their shoulders towards the same direction. The night was looking promising but then an event happened that threw my whole night into a chaotic surmise. Out of nowhere, I saw a puff of long blonde hair in a ponytail walk past me and in the last second, noticing the flying hand towards my stomach was Lyssa’s, I flexed and packed the force of her punch.

Lyssa didn’t care to stop, she just punched me in the stomach and kept walking. I figured that Lyssa was either spiteful of my looking good, where thoughts of women looking at me would have sprung to her mind causing her to punch me. Lyssa hit me with some force in which I luckily flexed so she was obviously angry about something or just being a bitch.

With that little episode passing me buy, the uncertainty of the night wasn’t assured as I kept looking behind me, wondering if Lyssa and Constantine were judging my every move. Ages ago, I didn’t want to be at the same club as Lyssa because I wouldn’t have felt comfortable dancing in her view. I figured that Lyssa would judge my dancing and that made me anxious as I know Lyssa speaks her mind and if I get upset she just says “You know I didn’t mean what I said”.

Finding My Feet

Nevertheless, Friday night, with my new temperament, anxiety didn’t care to strike me into an early night home. Rather, being myself, I kept tapping my feet on the floor, occasionally getting into a stint of different moves. Soon after, Ace started getting his first lot of attention for the night as a good looking blonde on par with Lyssa walked up to him and started whispering into his ear.

When the two of them stopped chatting and she stood just behind and to the side of me to unleash her fury of great dancing moves, Ace advised me that she was his girlfriend’s best friend. Well, well, that meant that Ace couldn’t dance up or pick up any women for the night if he was to stay hitched up and surely enough, he didn’t overwhelm his loins.

Twenty minutes into the night when I started to feel the necessity to step up I tapped Tyler on the shoulder whilst still up on the podium and signaled that I wanted the yellow lens glasses. Bringing along two pairs and holding the blue lens with me, I wanted to wear the yellow glasses as they had more of a striking impact. Opening up a pocket in his puff jacket he handed them down to me and with this sign of adherence I began the true form of my new self.

Usually, with my lack in confidence, I would dance with my hands dominantly out to my sides, never lifting up to what I felt was an uncomfortable level. However, with time and my continually telling myself that I should just kick out and be my unrestricted self, last night saw me doing all sorts of moves with my hands. What’s more, I never stuck to one move for the whole night and rather like Ace, Tyler and Nero, had a varying list of different moves combined with the basis of my dancing technique.

In addition to my hands venturing everywhere, my new Sketchers shoes gave me the confidence to kick out with my feet a couple of times as practiced at home in front of the mirror. What’s more, some of the things I learnt at home in front of the mirror I accomplished with a degree of perfection Friday night. It was a new age for my era of grace and I was loving it.

Yellow Glasses Go Missing

With Ace’s lady friend dancing next to me and looking excellent moving all around the ground, I tried to dance just as emphatically as her with much success. Later in the night I got a compliment from Johnnie that made me feel all the more content and confident as I looked back upon my grooving steps of the night. “Sorry, I can’t move my hips the way you do” he noted as they cleared some way for me at the forefront of the upper stage.

Last night I had the overwhelming confidence and with it I was busting loose, without an adhesive to keep my arms and feet held in with anxiety. Controlled arms waving around and legs bending while my hips swung from side to side on par with my shoulders, that was an irreprievable action. That I figure is why out of the blue again, Lyssa decided to walk past me and snatch the yellow lens glasses from off my face. Leaving me standing there with a bewildered look on my face, I watched her walk away into the crowd and for a second I stepped forward to follow her but thought “If she wants to be a bitch, let her”.

I figured that from her spiteful contrivance I wouldn’t see my glasses again for the night and I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of chasing her down and pleading to have my five dollar glasses back. From what I know, Lyssa danced around with my glasses on for most of the night until she came over later to me whilst I was on the stage and handed them back to me. She apologized for swiping them and excused her want to try them on for a portion of the night.

Up On The Stage With Johnnie

From the time that Lyssa stole the glasses off me to the time that she reunited to hand them back, I made my way up to the upper portion of the club and began dancing away. Ace and Nero were dancing near me at the time and from what I can recall, I jumped up on stage because I noticed Travis. Shaking his hand as he noticed me bopping away on the outskirts, him and his girlfriend noted that Johnnie had also made the trip. “He couldn’t resist my temptation”

Travis noted as he pointed up to where Johnnie and Galen were dancing on the edge of the stage. Jumping up there I greeted them myself and despite Johnnie ushering me to dance next to him amidst a crowd of observers, I decided to sit back and get accustomed to the stage first. Travis and Gemma kept dancing up on each other, probably because he felt threatened by her thoughts. Johnnie also joined in once or twice on their fun as I just stood back, away from what made me feel self-conscious later in the night.

It would have seemed that I was either avoiding Gemma or dancing behind her hoping that she would dance up on me and believe me, neither of those was the case. It wasn’t too long until Ace and Nero came up on stage to enjoy dancing alongside of me at the back where there was a fair deal of space. Tyler was dancing nearer to Johnnie now instead of being trapped on the podium and like he noted last week, he did tend to dance by himself.

Constantine Is Offered To Me

My night seemed to change when Lyssa made her way up to the stage and stood next to me, delivering my glasses. Constantine was standing next to Lyssa, wearing a black skirt and looking excited to see me. As Lyssa just began dancing next to me with Constantine just in front of us Lyssa nudged me on the shoulder and asked if I wanted to dance with Constantine. Uncertain on what she was getting at, Constantine turned herself around and over the deafening music she asked if I had a girlfriend yet.

Shaking my head disappointedly a smile glistened upon her face. Starting to get a better picture of what was going on, I asked Constantine if she was still going out with her boyfriend and she too shook her head. Nevertheless, the most that Constantine and I done in Lyssa’s presence was to dance as near each other as I was with Lyssa. Picking up Lyssa’s friend despite her being alright with it all was not my idea of fun.

Not only do I think it would be disrespectful to Lyssa if I got onto Constantine but it would create an eerie sense between the two of them and lessen the greatness I hold in Lyssa’s mind. I don’t want the both of them to be chatting their girlish thoughts to each other as that will just place me upon such a lowered podium as one of Lyssa’s three week boyfriends. Nope, I would rather keep myself a special commodity in Lyssa’s heart and getting onto Constantine despite her permission will only lower my decree in Lyssa’s mind.

Lyssa Changes My Night

Lyssa changed my night around, that’s all there is to say upon that truth. Looking around at everyone, I felt liberated, knowing that I was dancing with two of the best looking girls in the club. For the hour that I was just dancing around by myself, the girls that liked me through the night never approached me because they didn’t know how I would react. To them, seeing me on previous nights and never picking up, they thought I was either taken or hard to approach.

Like me, they feared rejection and figured I would give it to them. Nevertheless, as I danced right behind Lyssa and then a touch with Constantine who was moving her little hips around to attract my attention, I noticed girls and guys the same looking over. To me, in their minds they were probably thinking “Hey this guy does like women” and it probably would have shocked them somewhat to see me dancing with beautiful women.

Lyssa made them realize that I was approachable and seeing Lyssa just come up and talk to me, the girls that were observantly looking over probably thought “Well, now I know he won’t turn me back if I talk to him”. Honestly, not trying to rise myself to ostentatious bigotry, I noticed at least five girls looking me over in a whole new optimism. Desiring how I looked, how I danced and how I wasn’t trying to make a statement, just to have fun and exist.

From my experience, girls don’t like guys with flashy jewelry, big heads when they dance or guys who look like they just want a fuck. Some girls are there just for a root but I think they would prefer to have sex with someone who is more down to earth rather than someone who will just treat them like meat.

Am I A Try Hard

Whilst I was dancing next to Lyssa she sarcastically remarked “Oh no, I’ve seen you dancing”. This stemmed from my always telling Lyssa that I didn’t want to dance in front of her at my house when she was curious of my moves. Back in the day I used to say “Wait until we see each other at a nightclub” and I used to think that I would run away upon seeing Lyssa but I kept to my mettle and stuck around. Knowing that Lyssa always gives me the most honest, frank advice, I leant over and whispered “Do I look like a try-hard when I dance”.

Figuring that my bold moves and flying feet looked bulky and awkward I needed the opinion of a woman who was in the know. Lyssa always comments about guys and how they dance and I was very surprised at her encouraging reaction. Stopping herself short of dancing, she turned to me with a sincere face and replied “No, seriously, honest to God, you’re the sickest dancer I’ve seen”. Coming from Lyssa, this gave me the greatest confidence throughout the night and rightly so, I felt a transformation occur.

From that moment forth, a burden seemed to lift off my shoulders, as if I was plagued for the last year with anxieties. Neither Lyssa and I could move on properly and I believe, after Lyssa liberated me with such words of confidence, we both released the past and embraced the future. It was after these words and farewell of Lyssa for the night that I finally let myself go. It was as if I was waiting for that moment where Lyssa and I could see each other, know we don’t resent each other, realize our feelings are past and finally, move on.

Whence Lyssa did leave my side my confidence was at an all time high, finally realizing that Lyssa’s words of admiration were really words of acceptance that I wanted to hear. Finally, we are at a stage where we can be mutual friends and I’m finally at a point where I won’t feel spite or resentment when we do talk on the phone. Months ago Lyssa and I used to argue all the time but ever since our latest spurt of conversation we have been lenient towards each other.

Lyssa and I don’t argue anymore and the reason for this is because we rarely let our emotions and pride get in the way. That is why I didn’t care too greatly when Ace later told me that Lyssa walked out of Chevy’s with some Lebanese guy after finishing her dance with me. This I figure turned out to be Radley as she is following her heart.

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With Ace, Nero and Johnnie urging him on, Tony works…