Seeping Guts and the Dying of Summer (Part 1) – Mad Chaos: March 1, 1999

Paper Versus the Computer

The greatest invention mankind has ever come across has been the invention of paper and all that are comprised of it. Who needs the wheel when language upon that paper can stretch to the four corners of the world and beyond? Who needs fire when the inspired pen is all the fire one needs? Who needs attire when words can dress the worst of man and robe him with his true temperament, and why does mankind need to conquer with war to capture peace when peace can be found within words?

Succeeding this consequential invention can only be one thing and that in my mind is the computer. All that the computer achieves is a modernization of what is now made to look obsolete. Where with paper you needed a pen, the computer only needs fingers to type. Where an eraser would eradicate oversights, the backspace would do the same here. The paper at most times could be confused with so many thoughts in misplaced positions.

The computer does away with this as you can have an infinite amount of thoughts all over the pages of binary code but with erasing lines and placing them in their rightful places, the unseen eradication of misplaced words is like sortilege opposed to paper. The computer has so much more defining importance over paper yet paper will always be above the computer screen. Sure the computer will always be neat and precise with word placement but paper is always what it shall be printed upon.

Where paper had wheels in the form of language the computer also has wings, so that it can fly to an infinite source with the use of a phone and modem. Where inspired men didn’t need fire’s invention to breathe it upon paper, the computer empowers man with a greater arm to light such flame.

Saying Goodbye to Summer

Being the first day of the month I have already noted a difference from the foregoing month to the foreseen. Last month sprung me with plenty of surprises that I would have otherwise not expected and if Lyssa had informed me that she was pregnant, that would have been the greatest surprise. Murphy’s Law however didn’t agree with that far fetched a tale and thus, he himself will lend me a hand this month again.

Summer is over and Autumn is now beginning. Summer to me did only last for December and January and early in February summer’s shine in the heavens and in my mind did start to lose eminence. February as I noted was an eclipse of all things that came and that explains the surprises to my life that would have otherwise never happened.

However, with my having a long talk with Lyssa on the last few days of February and finally giving her my all on the fact that I felt boxed in, I predicted that this month will be much distanced from Lyssa and it’s already beginning. What I also predicted is that Lyssa will shy away from me for a month or two then slowly creep back up to her former self, maybe with more help from me than I would like to give. My relationship with Lyssa as we had known it from going out has not died but it has suffered over these past few months of separation.

We don’t know what we are doing and we keep doing it because it feels good but with Autumn’s heeding head and the dying that comes with it, I anticipate a further death in our now existent present. For the truth that there will still be traces of our former relationship still lingering this month but our relationship will be dying with the turn of Autumn’s ebbing nature, I feel to call this month autumn, with summer’s embers burning still

Breathing In Poetry

My flair for poetry is exceeding itself every day since my last attempt at poetry. Each night writing in my Diary I read the unfolding threads for the lost years Sonnets that I wish to create and each night my thoughts and inspiration are strengthened. Last night had seen me fairly close to an inspired frame of mind and although I didn’t think it was enough to create a worthwhile Sonnet it was enough however to create one or two lines.

In that span of time and just before going to sleep I started to think of the heading for this month and early this morning it came to me as I was driving with my dad to Campbelltown. Staring, gazing at the road in a trance for poetry’s sake I came up with this month’s heading and the meaning behind it.

Now I understand that last month had seen some great poetry but with me now catching my breath and about to breathe again, the poetry can only get better. I have held my breath for a long time now and with my face turning red with anticipation I feel that I will let out all my poetical vision with a big puff of outward air.

As I continually breathe in my lung’s maturity will increase and each breath will become more infallible with potent wisdom. A strong breath can only get stronger with time but all must one day breathe their last breath. As I am the artisan and my mind is the canvas, my lungs shall be the organ that breathes life into the all to which my life represents, creativity.

Revenge on the Cockroaches

Vengeful shall I always be against cockroaches and this month shall only see repulsion persevered. Last night being the last night of February I walked into my bathroom as weary as always. These days I can’t walk into my bathroom without looking extensively on the ground for the enemy, last night I found one.

Without a toilet roll handy I had to grab the brush I use to clean my back with while having a shower. Using the hardened plastic end I flicked the cockroach into a corner. The second hit was so ferocious and mortifying to the cockroach that his partly wounded Chest had seen him stunned and without movement. Gathering that he would die from his wounds and from his guts sticking out I left him in peace to pick him up for his last rites.

That wasn’t the case when I walked back into the bathroom half an hour later, he had disappeared. The little critter lived and just walking into the bathroom ten minutes ago I noticed one that looked like him but was somewhat smaller. Now there are at least three cockroaches to flush down the toilet this month in my animosity and I shall keep a wise eye for the one I thought I had killed and will now call ‘Seeping Guts’. For all I know he could have crawled away and died in a crack but I shall with my eyes be discerning to this belief.

A Plan for My Last Pay

Speaking financially now about my last possible month of government pay I have a plan to reap the most out of my misfortune. As we should all know by now my payment will soon be cancelled because I haven’t followed through with my mutual obligation agreement and in the middle of this month should be when they hassle me with an interview letter.

Getting paid tomorrow as I had to hand in my form today (Forgot about in on Friday) I should hopefully have one more fortnight left before they cut my pay. The money I should save in these next two payments should be enough down payment on my next telephone bill and that will keep me balanced until I renew my government pay in three months. Now there will be no leftover money for the Gym and that’s what I’m worried about but that’s where the next part of the plan takes effect.

If I receive a letter after my next payment after tomorrow I will stall as long as possible. One week into the fortnight I will hand in my form and as Ali has had success getting his payment early I will give it a go and be hopeful they pay me early. If this comes through for me then I will have enough money to head to the Gym for at least two months and then I’m dry. This is my last avenue of direction that doesn’t involve a job but I will have one soon.

Chasing a Smaller Waist

Goal setting is an important aspect of my daily life. Having short term goals like going to the Gym and long term goals like attaining enough poetry to write a book I have another short term goal to add. Once I start with an idea in my head I am wrenched to stick with it and on almost all occasions I do just that.

This new ambition of mine is to lose half an inch around my waist measurement and if I am lucky, one whole inch around that girth. Currently I am 33 inches around the waist and it would be a godsend to see the likes of 32 inches again. Thus, by the end of this month I shall have lost weight around my waist but I am hopeful that I won’t lose overall weight from my muscled body.

Speaking of my body, I have started to break out in grease pimples on my shoulders and trapezius and there is a spot or two on my back because of my greasy hands when I eat. On top of that I have a reddish blemish under my armpits and it seems that its been rubbing dry or it’s become too moist and irritated. Constantly skipping could have started it but I doubt it, what could be behind this.

Skipping and Biorhythms

Today I felt really energetic, like I had a physical charge within my body that could do no wrong. For that reason I found doing 1000 rotations skipping a breeze. The time is still early morning to me and having sweated a nice sweat from my last skipping workout I feel like doing another 1000.

Feeling so physically able today and for the past few days of this positive physical cycle I’ve been tempted to start a study on the physical aspect of Biorhythm Cycles. This shouldn’t take as long as the Mental Cycle because it runs for a shorter span of time but it will be interesting to find the high points of that particular cycle. Already I feel that +6 is the beginning of the highest point and up to today is where it stays and then starts to decline.

Measuring my eagerness and ability physically on a scale of -10 to +10 shouldn’t be too hard as I will be physical each day. When I feel like shit and not wanting to work out I will know that to be a negative day but when I can’t wait to hit the Gym, we know that can only be positive. In 23 days or maybe more I should have a diagram for us but it would probably start in the negative cycle.