Drinks At The Pavilion With Najla (Part 3)

Walking Up With Najla

Heading down the fire stairs of the HIH building, I noticed that it was only Najla, Thalia, Delphi, Blythe, Esme and myself who were heading to this farewell. However, when downstairs, Thalia met with one of her friends and then when we entered the Pavilion and sat down a couple of Fitzroy’s friends also joined us. Altogether there would have been a dozen people but I mainly stuck with Najla because we felt most comfortable around each other.

The walk to the Pavilion was grouped and I was with Najla the whole way up. Neither of us had been in the office long enough to get to know any of the others on a better basis and because we were comfortable with each other, we kept it that way for the rest of the night.

Buying Najla A Drink

Reaching the Pavilion we made our way upstairs minus Thalia and her friend because they were going to meet up with some more people and then meet us in the bar. This was fine with Fitzroy as we all walked up to the bar and bought drinks, all except for Najla. This I figure was due to her trying to save for two weeks so she could finally get paid so later in the night to get away from the seclusion and to feel a bit more comfortable I bought Najla a drink and we both walked over to the bar.

Joining a couple of tables together in the semi-crowded room, we stole some seats from neighboring tables and sat down amongst each other. At first I was going to sit across from Najla but I thought it would be best if I could find myself sitting next to her so that we would both be more comfortable. Wise choice. Trying to figure out whether I should change into my new polo neck sweater or if I should leave on my work clothes, I excused myself from everyone else saying I was going to the toilets and that I would be back in a little while.

Changing Into The Sweater

Because I was out of the workplace I didn’t want to have my work clothes on but it was only people from work looking at me. Nevertheless, I decided to change one article of clothing and it was amazing how just putting on that sweater changed my appearance. Heading back to the table, Delphi remarked, “Do you feel better now” and despite it sounding like she thought I was trying to better myself against everyone, I noted that I wasn’t comfortable in my work clothes.

Within my night at the Pavilion I bought two drinks for myself and ordered a drink for Najla. The both of us only talked with each other and at some times we were just saying any old thing to make it look like we were keeping conversation and having a good time. I was a touch paranoid that everyone on the table was looking at my little transformation and judging from what Delphi said to the way Thalia was looking at me with dazed eyes, I couldn’t have been too wrong.

On top of that, Fitzroy said “Legal Tony has turned into Slick Tony,” which I thought was funny because he was gobbling down his beer getting drunk with every taste. Thalia’s friends were also looking at me as if to say “Who’s he” and I could tell by the body language from most of Fitzroy’s friends that I was being judged.

I’m not sure what they would have been thinking but I can tell I would have been like a thumb sticking out. To draw parallels, I would have felt like Lyssa when she was all dressed up and in a nightclub where all the guys would look at her and all the girls would bitch. Then again, she would have thrived on it.

Keeping To Our Own Group

Fitzroy was having a great time boozing and although it was mostly Najla and I chatting to each other, I had a good time. I got to know a lot more about Najla on Friday night and she got a taste of me but I must admit that when sitting with our group, we were intimidated somewhat. I didn’t want to keep silent for too long and look like I wasn’t enjoying myself but my only comfortable effort was made with Najla.

At one stage I tried chatting to Esme and Blythe but I must have sounded stupid when asking them rather common and pointless questions. Everyone pretty much kept to their little groups afraid to chat to each other and it would have been good if people were more open including me but that’s not the way of life as is…

Leaving Early

When 6:15 p.m. arrived Najla and I decided that it was time to head home. Najla had to get to some party and I had to get back home to prepare for the city again. Therefore, I said goodbye to Fitzroy, shook his hand and his friends, said goodbye to Thalia and then it was time to head off. Najla and I chatted on the way to the train station as I told her my plans for this weekend and as we headed through the gates we said goodbye to each other and that we would meet again on Tuesday.

Heading down to my platform I felt good with what I was wearing but didn’t let it get to my head. Rather, I felt a bit self-conscious that I was too overdressed so I guess I still have to get acquainted with wearing stylish clothes. I have to fit the attitude of the clothes and looking withdrawn from any kind of association doesn’t make it easy for the ladies to approach me.

Hot Dog And Payphone

Catching the next train to Central Station (which took a fair time), I tried to catch an express train but there were none available. Also, I wanted to make a call to Keith and because I knew I would be discriminated against just getting change from a hot food store, I felt obliged to buy something. Therefore, I bought a hot dog thing to eat along the way to my platform. Still carrying my stick of food in hand, I made my way to the telephone and called Keith.

While standing there and making it hard for me to put in the money whilst holding the food, I felt good that I was giving out a certain image. In my head I was thinking, “Just like skinny women they probably think it’s weird that I’m eating fatty food but I am.” While ringing, it seemed a surreal impression of Penelope’s world, a bit of an act. Nevertheless, the attitude was real, only with a few added feigns to reality.

Why I Show Off Clothes

On the subject of fashion and my supposed abuse of its power, I don’t really consider myself as loving myself because of the clothes I wear. Rather, I feel more obscured and humbled by the better clothes I wear and in the slight chance that I see a woman that I like and would be approachable, it does give me that added momentum. When it comes to the fashion I buy, if I love what I buy then I have to share the word and have a fair few people know.

It goes with many things that when I buy something or spend my money in some way I’ll bring it up in passing. This was probably chiseled into me because back in the days I never used to have money to spend and now because I do, it’s my way of saying, “Here, look what I bought with my money.” In that light, I love spreading the word and changing people’s perception of me being a bum with no money to someone that has taste in what he spends.

Nevertheless, I don’t go as far as gloating when it comes to my money or style but it just gets to the point of becoming excited about it myself that someone else must know, not drown in my pool of pride. Humble is the key and humble is what I be…