Ralf Takes the Scenic Route Again (Part 1) – Mad Chaos: February 17, 1999

Three Showers and a Chapter Closed

Today has been a fairly humid day and despite the fact that the heat has been reasonably hot but not boiling, I have visited the shower three times thus far. The first shower was upon waking up today and although I finally woke up at 1:00 p.m. my real time of awakening was nearer to 11:00 a.m. There was another shower around half an hour ago and not being able to take the humidity I just took another dip into the shower.

This latest shower was supposed to be a quick dip but it ended up being a cold shower with the hot water barely turned on. The weather isn’t at all unbearable but it’s just that my room has no greatness of light shinning in and because I am on the lower floor there is no air circulating and thus, it’s more humid with the heat.

For the last hour I’ve wanted to start writing on my Diary to finish off the legacy of the last couple of days and today comes the ending of the Rochelle chapter. If I had to write a Sonnet about Rochelle and the last few days of her stupid lust for me I would call it ‘The days of the loved that loathed the lover’. That does have a nice ring to it but as pointless as it would be to talk about this pointless subject I shall probably use it for another poem depicting the lost years Sonnets.

Waiting on a Late Ralf

Backing up now to my depiction of Sunday I shall begin with Lyssa’s departure for the day and then the coming arrival of Ralf. As mentioned, I received a call from Ralf around 11:15 a.m. and informing me he still wanted to head out to Croydon to check out the warehouse sale he advised me he would be over in twenty minutes. Still tired I kept myself awake by having a shower hoping that Ralf would live up to his word. Fifty minutes later I knew that expectation was short lived and as he finally called back he notified me that he would be five minutes.

Once again I was sturdy to believe his conception of time but once again he took the scenic route that time handed to him and that five minutes turned into a twenty minute wait. I’ve made it a point to shed light on Ralf’s ability to drag a minute into the likes of an hour. While we were in the car heading to Concord I finally informed Ralf what I thought of his moseying around and I knew that Ralf wasn’t even aware of himself.

Basically, Ralf is never on time, he doesn’t know the concept of the words on time. Ralf tends to drive the long way or the unknown way to a destination and is inclined to take his time about it and smell every single rose along the way.

If Ralf worked in an office his time management skills would be made out of putty and there wouldn’t be enough of it to fill up all the holes of his mind’s awareness. Thus, I argued how Ralf loved to mosey around and along with the scenic route, those were the two most used depictions of Ralf’s ability to act like a retired retiree and still slower to get to a destination than those.

Luckily the trip to Croydon wasn’t that tiresome as we had the stereo pumping some mean tunes of hip-hop and R & B. The only downfall of this was that Ralf kept pausing songs every thirty seconds to speak his mind about something where all I wanted to do is just listen to one song all the way through. It was frustrating but these things you just have to put up with when Ralf is involved as he likes talking his mindless jargon.

Bargains at the Car Radio Sale

Leaving my house around 12:30 p.m. we finally arrived in Croydon (Or was it Concord, doesn’t really matter) within an hour or a little bit more. Taking out a street directory we quickly checked out where it was supposed to be then down the road a little more we realized that it was part of Strathfield Car Radios, they were having the huge sale. Making our way to their car park that held 65 cars we locked up and made our way up the ramp to where the fun would eventually begin.

There were a fair amount of people in the warehouse, a security guard out the front so no one would steal anything and plenty of stock inside. All in all, there were more guys there than ladies but what would you expect for a place that stocked mobile phones, home stereo appliances, computer software for all types of consoles, computer hardware, CD’s and other electrical goods and facets of electronic shit. The ladies that were there looked like they were just coming from the Catholic Club or something as a fraction of them were wearing high heels or other garments of fancy.

Ralf and I walked around together and separately and I feel the deals were great as most of the shit was 50% off but it looked like an ‘off the back of a truck’ sale to me. While there I noticed plenty of games and I was looking for the Britannica Encyclopedia CD for my computer but couldn’t find it. For 20 minutes we circled around as Ralf checked out dated CD’s and I checked out computer games and gloating that I couldn’t buy the airplane game that I used to have of World War I called ‘Wings’ or Red Baron’ we made our egression and headed for the car.

A Detour to Cronulla

Ralf once again decided to dawdle in his driving around and heading the wrong way to go home we found ourselves heading for the City. Ralf informed me this was a better way to go home but seeming we were almost at the City before he changed course back to home I would tend to think he was full of shit about his hypothesis.

Somehow I think he drove that close to the City to make a point to me he has been saying for such a long time now “I’m never driving my car into the City”, what’s the point of it all. On our way back home we hit a detour and heading near Cronulla Ralf informed me that this is where we were headed, to the beach. At first when he asked I was weary and just wanted to get home but he was intent on sticking it out at the beach on such a warm day so that’s where we headed.

Sand Like Sugar on Bread

Parking our car wasn’t that hard as there was an occasional parking spot but as we did park on the far end of the right hand side we both had a fair bit of walking to do. Once again, Ralf moseyed along as he jumped out of the car, locked it, chained it up and then prepared his feet for the hard sand. All this preparation while I was just sitting waiting with impatient thoughts to head out onto the sandy beach.

Finally we made our gait to the sands of the beach and at first it looked from a distance that there was no one on the beach but once upon the beach we both realized how packed it was. Truly it was a spectacle to behold as it resembled grains of sugar spread moderately onto a piece of bread, more packed on each side and in the middle with small gaps of less sugar in between those. The first thing I noticed was a lady lying down topless on the beach.

Normally I would just look at a topless woman and think nothing of their breasts as I’m not really flattered or like a cow’s horn upon seeing them but this time, the breasts that I had seen were respectful to my eyes. I was taken back by their beauty and especially the coloration of the nipple and the size of the nipple’s circle and the shapely breast. There were at least ten women I noticed on the beach that were topless but none of them done anything for me but the first lady I had seen.

A Covert Afternoon on the Sand

Starting our stroll towards the other end of the beach’s side we traipsed our feet through the sand for the sake of seeing beautiful women. After all, our whole idea of visiting the beach was to see how beautiful a day it would be and I’m not talking about the weather here, I’m talking about the selection.

Seeming we didn’t have any towels or swimming shorts (Although I could have gone for a swim as I had my shorts on) our real reason for being at the beach on Ralf’s account was for the women there, adamantly for a perve. Thus, we sat our lustful ass’s into the copiously toasted sand and began our covert peeping from the ground.

Beating down on us was a frailsome sun that with the hours was dying before us. Amongst the sweet and sugary crowd we watched, we breathed and we admired the women that brought their beauty to our eye’s attention. The waves were cracking down ferociously farther out into the sea and although all of the ladies in the water were safe swimming close to the beach they weren’t safe from our lustful gawking.

As a result of my staying up for my Sonnet and having less sleep that Saturday night my eyes were increasingly growing fatigued. For the hour that we sat on the beach admiring the women I lay back and closed my eyes for a couple of seconds, my hand behind my head to shield me from the sand that would inevitably tangle within my hair.

Ralf Goes for a Closer Look

Obedient was Ralf in his pursuit to see this one lady he thought was fairly attractive in her black two piece swimsuit. Golden were his glasses firmly attached to his glare, his shirt off and bearing the brunt of himself, Ralf departed for his glance. I’m not sure what would be more of a chuckle, his disappointment upon seeing her or his ape like walking. But as close as it would be, I would have to think his prodding feet through the sand, hunched forward and with a face begging to say “Ooga ooga”, was more of a laugh.

Home the Long Way

Once our time was used up at the beach we said goodbye to such a life. Ralf’s parting words as we warmly left the sand’s of peaceful life were “This is the life, the beach, the sun, the plenteous women. I could just sit here and sleep for the rest of the day, so calm, the sand so tender, I wish I could just live here.” Heading back home we once again took the scenic route that Ralf loves to take. En route to home we stopped off at a petrol station and that was the last stop-off before we arrived at my house.