A Mouse in the Bathtub Before Midnight (Part 4) – Mad Chaos: February 28, 1999

Ralf and Shawn Fall Out

Making our way to Keith after parking the car he informed me that Shawn had just been to my house with the Playstation but I wasn’t home. “My guess is that they’ll be heading here soon” Keith uttered and with that Ralf once again told me he didn’t want to stick around to hear Shawn bitching. Ralf has really taken a turn on Shawn and his whinging ways.

This turn probably came to be when Shawn used to ring Ralf because he was trying to change over from Tatton but he’s caught in a void right now. Shawn used to call him up and use him for a lift but I think Ralf started to get sick of that.

On top of that Ralf had seen Shawn as a mind controlling kind of person and if he didn’t get his way he would try and say things to you to make you see it his way. For example, if Shawn didn’t want to head to Wollongong and we did he would have a public whinge about it, declare he wasn’t going and then try to persuade everyone else but the suggesting party to see it his way.

Slipping Away From Shawn

Talking to Keith only for a couple of seconds we made our way to Macdonald’s and looked at the chicks behind the counter as Ralf bought something to eat. Seeing one or two that I favored he bought his food and then headed back to his parked car to eat it. Suggesting that we leave before Shawn and Tatton arrived to ask what was going on for the night he thought to eat his food first.

Too late for Ralf, Shawn and Tatton turned up and after some small talk they started tossing the Gridiron ball around. “You know, I bet Shawn probably wants us to join in on his tossing the ball but then I’ll just be giving up to his luring ways” Ralf babbled. Shawn asked the both of us what we were doing and I replied that we were going to see his brother with confidence and truth in what I had said.

Turning his cheek and smiling as if to say I was crazy to submit myself to a treacherous ride like that he continued with his game of football. Just as we were jumping in our car Shawn said to me “See you in three days” and Ralf later noted that this was his sly way of trying to convert me to his point of view which was that we would be there forever. Luckily I know that I wouldn’t submit myself to that torture and what he knew didn’t phase me.

Aimless in Liverpool

Not knowing where we were headed Ralf bungled our possible night with others because of his self-love to be number one and always on top. Knowing that he ruined their possible night was enough for him to be elated with his choice to ditch everyone and anyone.

Wanting to get out of Campbelltown as Shawn would be on the prowl for us we headed to Liverpool but as I knew, it was pretty dead. Ralf told me that there was a party near his brother’s house and there were usually hundreds of people there but that didn’t persuade me in the slightest to head out there, if anything it deterred me more. Ralf kept badgering me with his polite begging but I wouldn’t budge and I didn’t want to put myself through a couple of slow moving hours up in the stick to visit his brother, what fun is it for me.

Ralf drove around the whole of Liverpool’s main streets and his driving skills I must say were as intelligible as an ape with a finger up his ass. From the lost-cause directional driving that I had to endure, his actions gave a new meaning to the already lucrative scenic-route branding that I had tagged on him.

Dressing for Wollongong

On the way back to Campbelltown it was almost 11:00 p.m. and as he tried to come up with an idea for something to do I knew that I should be calling Lyssa soon if I wanted her to come over. Mentioning that he wanted to head down to Wollongong I noted once again like I had for his brother’s friend’s party that I didn’t want to dress up or perform.

Soon after I finally realized Ralf’s eagerness to head out and knowing that I wouldn’t be able to elude him for an early night we headed to my house where I put on my Gas Station clothes. Our plan was to head to ‘Waves’ at Wollongong where we would just get out and look around, little did we know that it wasn’t open on Friday nights. From my house we headed over to Ralf’s house where he took half an hour to get himself ready. Putting on a black microfiber shirt on, creamy-white pants and a leather jacket we were almost set.

A Mouse in the Bathtub

Spraying some perfume on the both of us we made our way to the bathroom but as Ralf opened the door he jumped back a foot or two in a frenzy. Urging me to see what the problem was I noticed a small mouse in the bathtub and as it was obviously terrified of us it kept trying to run up the bathtub to escape.

Far too small to climb out of the bathtub, each time the mouse tried it would slip right back down. Looking at Ralf’s bathroom I noticed cracks in the wall where the taps were and I knew how a mouse could get inside. Neither Ralf or I wanted to pick up the mouse so he woke up his mum to pick it up with a towel and eventually run it to the front yard to free the critter.

Ralf’s mum was in a nightie and as I must throw naked my mind’s remembrance to this Diary, I must the next bit recite. When Ralf’s mum bent down to let the mouse free in the garden I found it hard not to notice the loose underwear she was wearing. It looked as if she was wearing her husband’s underwear because she certainly had enough space there to fit his thing. Turning away from this sight quickly it didn’t appeal to me that much and although his mum is probably attractive to that age group (And not trying to sound demeaning), the underwear looked as if it had some sort of brown log sitting in there.

Fooling Everyone and Heading South

Having fooled both Shawn and Keith into thinking we were headed to see Ralf’s brother we laughed as we jumped into the car and headed to Wollongong. Actually, Ralf was the one that was proud of himself and glad of what he had accomplished but I was just thinking that more than Ralf and I would have been a better night, that and if Lyssa had tried calling me.

The trip to Wollongong was full of music but it was outweighed by his annoying habit of pausing the music and chatting about shit. Generally Ralf likes to have his bitch about everyone being a lost cause in the group failing to note that he is just as lost as the rest of them. From one who has to have arms length worth of room to dance, one who likes to blab on about things without a point and one who lies so much about his life that even Ali would be impressed, he’s just as lost as the rest of them, if not more.

A Club That Was Shut

Thankful that we had made it to Wollongong in good time before Ralf started telling me once more about how much he loved his Yugoslavian ex girlfriend that I don’t even think knows he exists anymore, we began our journey toward ‘Waves’. Eager to see a large crowd blooming out the front as the time was 12:30 a.m. we were both surprised upon seeing one or two people walking around.

“Oh no” Ralf shouted as he smacked himself upside the head, “I just remembered that ‘Waves’ is only open on Saturday nights”. Seeing that the doors were closed I also smacked myself upside the head for not remembering and the both of us felt stupid. Now Ralf couldn’t blab about how good his night was and I don’t think he would dare mention that he was stupid enough (As I was) not to remember that ‘Waves’ was only open on Fridays.

Lost on the Main Street

Heading back down to the main part of Wollongong we just decided to drive around when I suggested that we check out the club on the main street I keep hearing about. Having been past there and in front of this club once or twice before I remember there were hot girls walking out of there so obviously this was a good try.

Half-witted Ralf once again had no sense of direction and upon taking the long way there we ended up a street out. Finally making it to the main street Ralf was looking for a parking spot and as he found one he had to travel all the way to the far end of the road where the roundabout lay near the beach so he could turn around.

Poor boy, who found a spot but couldn’t reverse park to fit in so once again, we drove around the block to straighten up. Almost to the extremes of a simple man, Ralf probably wouldn’t dignify the word simple when explaining his sense of direction and common sense, it has to be below that.

Foam on the Fountain

Finally parking the car we noticed that the fountain at the top of that street was foaming. Obviously someone had thrown some sort of soap in because it frothed with foam and the only water viewable was that pouring into it. There were some good looking girls taking a photo at the front of it and some guys playing around with the bubbles afterward.

Sitting out the front of the club area with our highly dressed clothes we lent against a pole overlooking the entrance and hoping that some sexy girls would walk out. Ralf thought he was overdressed for the occasion and now that I think about it we were practically the only guys that looked well dressed and if it wasn’t for the women dressing their part we would have looked out of place. The admission to this pub atmosphere club with pool tables in one room was sort of like Ettamogah Pub but fairly smaller and darker.