Long Bitter Love Down the Phone (Part 2) – Mad Chaos: February 12, 1999

Setting It Against Older Sonnets

Placing contrast to the first Sonnet ever written in the lost years epic called ‘Cleansed shall be such a plague as concern’ I shall connect the word bitter with this newest poem and the last line. Firstly, in my latest poem the last line reads ‘That made long of short and short of her sweet’. You should already have an understanding that this rhyme indicates how the short love we had was lengthened with our trying to hang onto what wasn’t there.

This was our calling each other despite me being with someone and as bitter as that already sounds it made short what was sweet. The sweet indeed was sweet love that I cherished through the time I was with her but this shortened sweetness was now turned into a ‘Long Bitter Love’ tangle over phone. You wouldn’t even call it love as we tried to cling onto whatever it was for the next year or more. In turn, the ‘Long Bitter Love’ that carried on after our breaking up would derive more understanding if it were to be renamed ‘Tasteless Lust’.

Thus, placing this into contrast with the Sonnet called ‘Cleansed shall be such a plague as concern’ you can understand that in the first line of that Sonnet ‘Bitter’ could also refer to ‘tasteless lust’. My ‘Tasteless Lust’ to be dreaming of Jewell after our break up (I didn’t really dream but when I closed my eyes to think, I would on occasion have these thoughts) and being concerned and anxious about what she’s doing does make a connection with ‘Bitter’.

Two Sonnets in Contrast

Then there is ‘Thy absence doth blemish my prime’. The poem that portrays Jewell’s characteristics into a depiction of how she feels of our lost love is another Sonnet that connects with love’s similarity. Here in the Sonnet ‘Thy absence doth blemish my pride’ the portrayal of Jewell and her portrayal of the lost years speaks of an absent love. So, to her thoughts as well, there was a love back when and she does speak strongly of the love that I portrayed.

This Sonnet is the most direct when it comes to speaking about a lost love but that is because of femininity being more frail than masculinity. I tried to emulate how Jewell might be feeling and I felt that the ‘Lost Love’ depiction that was held back in the days (Where my newest Sonnet is set and speaks of) that our love if ever owned, was greatest.

The third Sonnet in contrast being “‘tis made more beloved, the shadow than the shaft” I speak of that day under the fig tree in the City, quite when I was still infatuated with a love greater than love. This poem speaks of Cupid who represents love but in an attempt to supposedly contradict my newest Sonnet that also speaks of love’s day, it creates a play of words on lust. The Sonnet speaks in only one line and one word of lust but it speaks of a careless Cupid that was supposed to shoot love at me that day but splintered the shaft and a lesser lust was given.

This however was the turning point of our togetherness as that night I sensed something wrong and that time in the park was the only time I could savor of our losing love larger than love. Therefor, it was wise for me and precise for me to say that I was shot with lust instead of love that day as something was amiss and my lustful ways to get my true worth in Jewell back would plague me thereupon.

The Last Sonnet Compared

The last Sonnet I’ve written might be most contradicting with its play on words but I feel I can justify both Sonnets with their similarities. The Sonnet is called ‘Time is fodder to unbeknownst I, that feeds yon will to press forth’ and with it the whole subject is of lust and how it did take away from Cupid who represents love. Thus, automatically you will understand that the time with which these words speak of is after Jewell and I broke up or to the farthest degree, the stages where Jewell and I were breaking up, the day depicted by Cupid’s Arrow Sonnet.

This Sonnet speaks how my mind was led astray from a love greater than love that was probably the tasteless love I’ve been talking about. The poem speaks of blinding Cupid and as Cupid represents love there is no changing him. But, whichever way you look at it, his wanton arrows as depicted in the latter Sonnet of Cupid’s Arrows could either be of love, a love bigger than love or as better known, wanton lust which would also be tasteless lust.

So the tasteless lust that came after Jewell and I broke up that caused me to falsify love blinded a past lust that was closer to love or a love that never blossomed. It goes to say that love was ‘dormant’ in the lost years and thus it would give more rise to the fact that it wasn’t really love that I had for Jewell back then but a lust that was closer to love or a love that never blossomed. ‘The lost years in like matter art like time’s engineer’ plays no words of love or lust but just of time and it’s likeness and hand to the lost years.