Nikita Gets the Wrong Idea (Part 2) – Mad Chaos: January 7, 1999

A Confused Boy

I’m such a confused boy you might tend to say looking at the history of my adulteration with women. It seems that this neurotic disorder of mine has led me into some troubling situations before. The chase is great to me and feeling wanted and sexy is another. Maybe that’s why I done so many immoral things, let me explain some of them. Firstly there was getting onto Nina and we all know that was a bad move in itself but the fact that she was Kathryn’s half sister and that Kathryn would eventually find out should have been enough to keep me away from her, it didn’t.

Then there was the second Phoenix that used to live with Simba ad you can say I made some bad moves there over the course of time I was with her. Who could forget the main reason of the lost years and the chase factor as well as the difficulty factor involved. Now I’m having dreams about having sex with Tamsen and trying to keep it a big secret, what’s becoming of me. I’m not a stupid man but I do sometimes make stupid decisions.

Lyssa Sounds Different

I’ve always tried to be friendly with Lyssa’s friends not crossing that friends barrier even though some of them are attractive but it seems that I got myself into another catastrophe. Lyssa rang me tonight around 8:30 p.m. and the first thing she told me was that she couldn’t come over to my house on Friday because she was heading out to the Catholic Club.

This caught me off guard somewhat as Lyssa was very eager to come to my house and on top of that it felt like Lyssa was trying to conceal who she was going with. At first I thought that Lyssa was heading to the Catholic Club with some guy who could have been the blind date that Imelda was setting up but I knew to think differently, something was going on, something strange.

Twenty Questions About Friends

Lyssa then asked if I had a fancy for any of her friends. “Come on, tell me the truth” she said playfully and straight away I knew it had something to do with my helping Nikita out on new years eve. Yet, I didn’t say anything to Lyssa at first, rather I played along with her words.

“Nope, I don’t like any of your friends” I told her. I basically told Lyssa that I try to be good friends with Lyssa’s friends and if one of them needed my help I would do my best. Sticking my neck out I cautiously asked if it had anything to do with new years eve and Nikita, it was.

What Nikita Said

Lyssa then told me that Nikita had informed her that I was weird and she didn’t want to tell Lyssa at first because she thought it would hurt her feelings but after Lyssa was made to swear she wouldn’t get angry Nikita spilled her guts. Well, she told her side of the story, that being that Nikita thought I was trying to hit on her and she felt weird. That’s when I told Lyssa I had no intentions of hitting on Nikita, hence, myself getting into one of these troubling situations again.

My Side Of New Years Eve

I know that night when I wrote in my Diary I was probably writing thoughts in my Diary about "What if” and “If only” so I am part to blame for Nikita’s thoughts but that wasn’t my intention. Nikita walked down the street and said hello to me and when she said goodbye a minute later. She didn’t have to come walking back to me and sit down next to me.

Nikita could have done her own thing but I thought since she was waiting for a taxi I could also get home as I was very tired and my loins were very itchy and red. On top of that I didn’t want to be rude and leave Nikita all alone so I vowed to help her out in getting a taxi and that I did.

Lyssa commented that I said something about Nikita’s dress and I was only doing that because I thought she looked good in it and I was being nice. For a long time I’ve thought that Lyssa’s friends all resent me for some reason and they all think that I’ve taken their princess away and I am the dark prince. All I was trying to do was be nice to Nikita as she is basically the only one that talks to me freely out of Lyssa’s whole group and I feel at ease with her.

Wondering About Her Friends

That would explain me being over friendly with her, I was just trying to get her to like me and think of me as a good person that Lyssa went out with but of course that backfired. Then again, Nikita could have just gone to Lyssa with the news knowing it would upset her because that would be her way of getting at me.

Maybe Nikita is one of those people that also resents me, maybe it’s all in my mind as Lyssa tends to always say. But, you can’t ignore the story deep in the eyes whenever they greet me and smile their fake smiles, I know most of them resent me or don’t see me as having been a good deal for Lyssa.

The Reason For Friday

Asking Lyssa if she wasn’t coming over my house on Friday night because of what Nikita told her she agreed that this was the reason. That pissed me off as I kept protesting my innocence. Lyssa informed me that she now felt weird talking to me and also with Nikita. Despite that Lyssa is heading to the Catholic Club tomorrow with Nikita, her reason is because they chatted on the phone and they haven’t seen each other for a couple of weeks.

I think that Lyssa will just want to ask a couple more questions so she can come over late that night and interrogate me or if she thinks too ill of me she’ll head home and then ring me up to confront me with this damning news. If Lyssa does that then it will remind me of when I heard news from Ace and then I decided to question Lyssa about it, jealousy.

Hanging Up Upset

Angry with Lyssa for not believing my intentions of just helping Nikita out I wanted to hang up the phone but Lyssa insisted that we just chat. That we did in a huff and puff manner for a minute or so and then as Lyssa and I said goodbye to each other I put down the phone upset. Before hanging up the phone I informed Lyssa that she must feel how I felt when Lyssa got onto Pedro or Braxton but she failed to differ.

Worms Before Midnight

Since our conversation I haven’t been doing much but playing ‘Worms’ on my computer and then writing in this here Diary before the stroke of midnight appeared. Now the time is 12:53 a.m. and it is time for me to head off but incase one day I am going to try and calculate how much words I’ve typed in this entry remember two things. I had myself a shower for at least 15 minutes where I brushed my teeth and I ducked upstairs to get myself a drink not to mention stopping every now and again to gather thoughts or get better positioning on the ground.

Suit Trouble And Sweat

Tomorrow I head for the Gym and I will also give a few places a call regarding employment. Right now you can say that I’m only shopping around and today I did try on my suit with different shorts and even my Hound Dog pants (They don’t suit the work uniform). Knowing that I sweat easily I noticed that one of the shirts was vividly damp on the back. I’m going to look like a human sponge at my next job in summer, what can I do to stop this waterfall of sweat.

Another Sonnet Planned

One more thing before I leave. This morning when I decided to get to sleep at 5:00 a.m. I jumped up two or three times having to write out a new Sonnet formula that I thought would be attractive to write in as well as a couple of lines for a Sonnet. These lines are in point form below but I don’t think I’m going to get to them tonight.

The Sonnet will be about time once again and how some days seem long and short. I will elaborate upon the question of whether I want my time to fly and theoretically for me to die faster or do I want my time to linger with boredom where I will live such long memories but at a cost. Well, these thoughts and more in the future but you can be sure that my last Sonnet has not been written.