The Keyboard Gives Up on Me – Mad Chaos: January 8, 1999

Rethinking My Friendships

I need to subject myself to a complete overhaul of friendship and companionship as I know it today. The people I supposedly hang out with are not my real friends but rather I would tend to agree with Lyssa in saying that they are just associates I hang out with time to time. Friends don’t let you sit at home alone for two weekends in a row while they go out and do their group thing. Even though Lyssa is understanding now she will just be another Jewell when I do get myself a new girlfriend.

Lyssa said to me ages ago while we had become friends that she would want to continue in being my friend once I had myself a partner. I think the reality of that situation would be Lyssa either being jealous where she would take it out on me in conversations that we had our she would try to break the two of us up by being over-horny. My constant search for new friends is on but how does one achieve friendship status if one never goes out. To meet friends you need friends unless you meet them through work or other learning institutions, rarely alone.

A Quiet Day

Today has been rather somber for me in terms of having had no outside communication apart from the Gym. Lyssa didn’t give me a call today from work as she usually does but that just leads me to believe that she probably phoned Nikita on her lunch break and discussed in more detail how much of a sleaze Nikita thought I was.

When you think about it, even if I was trying to hit on her I wasn’t doing anything sleazy. All I was doing was striking up conversation. She blew the whole issue out of proportion. So once again I’m going to get a bad reputation with Lyssa’s friends as being the bastard who was and still is when in truth I was just trying to be likeable.

Too Serious For Friends

A couple of days ago Lyssa told me, after I loosely asked, that I was a very serious person. When I thought about that a little I realized that there was much truth in this. Of course there were many times where Lyssa and I had great fun, we were always laughing and of course with my friends I am just out there but to everyone else I am a serious person.

That could bring to understanding the reason that I don’t make much friends as when they try to be nice I am nice back but in a hostile sort of way. This occurs without even knowing it and it came to me today when I was at the Gym.

The Gym Greeting

While pedaling away on the stationary bikes Zubin came and talked to some guy on the bike next to me involving himself with some in depth conversation. I tried to mind my own business and keep out of it looking forward and jumping off the bike a little later than my usual time I looked at Zubin who was looking back at me. As he asked me how I was doing I answered him back in a quick and stern “Fine thank you Zubin” and was on my way.

The truth is that this one liner is all that I say when people try to greet me, well 90% of the time. That’s probably the reason why most people find it hard to talk to me including Maddox from behind the counter who acts like he’d rather not talk to me.

I’ve always thought that was because his dad used to tell him ages ago not to speak with me because back then I appeared as a bum but he’s got his own agenda now. I am a hard person to talk to but strangely enough whenever someone decides to speak to me out of the blue I am always the one to continue the conversation so they don’t feel stupid. Maybe I’m just trying too hard…

A Troubled Keyboard

I’ve really fucked up now when it comes to typing on my computer. Ages ago my keyboard used to have a problem with the space bar then a couple of weeks ago I had trouble typing the letter ‘N’ but that’s gone away and now I have great troubles typing in the letter V. The reason for this sudden change is because of my typing about five minutes ago where the computer just froze out of the blue.

This more than pissed me off as I couldn’t retrieve a paragraph of my Diary so in my fury I banged down on my computer pad, not too rough though. Once again I am forced to slow down in my typing so I’m going to have to buy a new keyboard in the coming payment or even before that as it’s starting to piss me off now.

A Twinge In My Chest

Before I get myself into any more trouble I’m just going to record my Gym accounts and that will probably be it for my night. Before I do begin let me just note that today I thought to try an exercise or two of Bench Press sort actions and after a very heavy set on Incline Dumbbell Press and then a set on Seated Machine Bench Press I felt a slight twitch in the right and upper part of my Chest near my shoulder.

Upon coming home it’s gotten a bit worse so I’m pretty sure that my days of lifting heavy are pretty much over and outweighed, at least for a couple of months healing. Now let me do what I said I was going to do, my Gym account.

Chest Routine

Chest: Like I’ve noted before I spent around 3 minutes on the bikes as Zubin sat talking to some old bugger. Moving to Peck Deck Fly’s I loaded up 90 pounds and slowly performed 15 reps. After that I had a warm-up on cable crossovers but when that was done I continued with my first heavy set. There’s plenty of the letter V in this column isn’t there. Loading up the Peck Deck Fly machine with 160 pounds I braced myself for some struggle but in the state where I was fairly warmed up I completed 15 reps with fair ease.

The ease part means I could have done 5 more reps if I wanted to. Leaving the weight at 160 pounds I continued with another set where I just managed to complete 10 reps. Moving now to Incline Dumbbell Press I picked up the 70 pounders not really sure what I could accomplish on this exercise as it had been a while. To my amazement I did accomplish some reps, 6 to be exact but I fear it was too heavy too sudden. Moving to Seated Machine Bench Press I managed to move 160 pounds 10 times with a fair struggle.

Moving back to an Incline Dumbbell Bench I took 40 pound dumbbells in my hand and performing fly’s I achieved 12 reps that took a while. Once again against the grain I decided to do a set of pullovers that weren’t too bad with 60 pounds for 12 reps, it worked well. My last two sets were on Cable Crossovers where I struggled but achieved 12 reps with 50 pounds each side. Taking the weight up to 60 pounds I completed 10 reps on Bent Over Cable Crossovers, it was quite depleting.

Biceps And Abs

Biceps: Quickly becoming my preferred exercise and one behind my Chest I like seeing the results in my arms after these workouts. Beginning with a warm up on Standing Cable Curls I took the weight up to 70 pounds for the second time in existence and achieved a complete 10 reps.

From here I moved to barbell curls and with a fixed 70 pounds I managed to force out 8 reps before finding it difficult. Next on the agenda was Preacher Dumbbell Curls and doing these one hand at a time with 30 pounds I managed 12 reps per arm. Last on the list was Concentration Curls and with 25 pounds and a rest after my last debilitating set I performed 12 reps.

Abdominals: There was not much more to this than three sets of 30 reps with 40 pounds resistance on each set. However I did do some twists on some of these reps for my obliques.

Cockroach In The Shower

I’ve just had another run in with a cockroach in the bathroom, they’re getting younger every day. To explain this one briefly I noticed him hanging on the wall close to the taps in the shower. Finding my toilet roll handy I started walking towards him but he got wary of me quickly. Running down the wall I had a plan to turn the hot water in the shower on and watch him steam up before my eyes.

As I turned the hot water on I stopped him from scurrying out of the shower and tossing him into the water time and time again it started to get hot. When it did he turned on his back and started scurrying wildly but I was glad to see that his little legs curled up and stopped moving. To be more cruel I turned off the hot water probably within an inch of his life and then turned on the cold water.

It took a couple of seconds to get rid of the steaming hot water in time for the cold water to come through, this would have been enough time to kill him before the cold water could ease him from torture. Anyway, he died and my agony of having to hold in comfort that I would pee on him came true, I was happy.

Choosing My Computer

Well, the time is almost midnight and with this keyboard to add to my woes, I am at a loss to good happenings. In these lonesome hours of my life where companionship and friendship wail with emptiness, I choose this computer to hear my grievances. I choose this screen to be my joyous night, these pages of poetry to make null of my blight. I choose these hours ahead to be my companionship and this timely entertainment instead to be my friendship. All choose their paths and I in all seriousness shall sit silent but savant shall I be in these pages of philosophy.