Phone Calls That Cut Out
Upon getting dropped off the time was just after midnight and with this I started typing in my computer. As I usually do I had a lapse in my typing where I would pause for a while and then start again and for this reason I didn’t get much work done. The time kept ticking and when it arrived to 3:30 a.m. I received a phone call. Knowing that it would be Lyssa I answered quickly as not to wake anyone up and as she said a couple of words the phone hung up.
Thinking that Lyssa made a mistake I awaited her second call which came a few seconds later and before she could even ask what I was doing the phone hung up again. Gathering that the phone was swallowing Lyssa’s money and not letting her call I didn’t expect a third call and didn’t receive one. But, as I was typing in my Diary entry late Friday night or very early Saturday, I knew that Lyssa would do the next best thing and just get dropped off at my house. Well, as I kept typing speedily my ambitious prediction came true.
Lyssa Arrives Unannounced
Lyssa received a lift from Kieran and some other guy who I can’t recall his name and as she walked to my front door I opened it up for her. My facial expressions didn’t change all that much from the depressing state I was in upon answering the door and that of my somber mood when entertaining my guest. Even though it’s not really Lyssa’s fault I didn’t feel like her company because I was trying to make a point to myself, that point being that I am still angry at her for stepping all over me and not wanting her to take advantage of me again.
This is why I was in such a weary mood and my voice didn’t change tone all that much until Lyssa informed me she didn’t feel welcome because of my attitude. Those are the times when I gave effort to lift up my spirits but once you are grounded with dubious thoughts you cannot help but to be weary of what is to be expected.
Lyssa Tells Her Night
After Lyssa settled down about thinking she wasn’t welcome at my house and after she started saying things like “I knew I shouldn’t have come tonight” she started speaking fluently of her night. Firstly Lyssa informed me about Dominic and how he walked over to her and placed his arm around her.
Upon seeing who it was Lyssa took a huge step back and just shouted “Don’t touch me” with such hate that you could say (And I quote), she hates him with a passion. He started mimicking her little tantrum as she forced herself away from him and then he was off as quickly as he was there. Funny that I didn’t see him through the night, must have gotten into a fight.
Trouble Outside the Club
Lyssa then informed me about these two leb guys who were outside of the nightclub and looked as if they were too young to enter. One of them said “Sharmoota” in Lebanese under his breath to Lyssa and getting heaps angry of what he had said she stuck her Lebanese fingers up and said back ‘Ari fik’. Lyssa then got scared for a second as they got heaps offended and started yelling from where they were at Lyssa. Although, there was one guy with the both of them which settled the both of them down and Lyssa really adored him.
A Younger Guy Catches Her Eye
This guy was the typical surfie looking kind of guy, long blonde waved hair, blue eyes, you know the drill. Lyssa really thought he looked good in his Bonds shirt and she must have been interested with him as she found out he was 17 years old and she also walked down to Chevy’s with him.
On top of that Lyssa also got him into Chevy’s for the night as he was under age and I gather he would have been grateful. Lyssa informed me that she wouldn’t go out with anyone under nineteen years of age but since she liked this younger guy and it should have been the other way around, this attraction she probably would have taken as a one off if it came wrapped up for her in a box.
The Blonde Girl with the Cigarette
Lyssa took it upon herself to explain all the girls sitting around with her and then I took it upon myself to inform Lyssa that I really liked a girl there that Lyssa probably knew. I’m not too sure of the girls name at the moment but I’ve seen her in Lyssa’s pictures and more than once I’ve noted that this blonde girl looks somewhat like Lyssa. Seeing her last night taking a smoking break with her divinely beautiful and skinny friend, it brought a smile to my heart and hope for this Chest of mine that bears it so.
With her baby blue top and pants alike of Lyssa’s clothing she really did look beautiful with her long blonde hair and even though I wouldn’t classify her extremely hot she is suited to me and I find her extremely hot for that. Lyssa is aware that I found her attractive last night and I think that the girl is also.
You see, when I was sitting with Keith she took it upon herself to stand in my view to have a smoke and every now and again she would glance over and look at me. This gave me a great feeling as I looked back and tried to smile through my anxious teeth and I guess it must have come out right because her eyes weren’t deterred. She kept herself there long enough to finish her smoke and glance at me a couple of times and as she disappeared her shadow was kept within me, within my newborn fantasy of thought.
A Smoke in the Backyard
After Lyssa had another go at me for looking distressed she asked me to walk out the back with her so she could have a smoke. Informing Lyssa that I was only angry at the fact that I didn’t get to finish up in my Diary as Lyssa came over and that I had been agitated for most of the day I advised Lyssa that I would not be heading outside with her. Still thinking that she was being treated hostile she made her way out to the backyard with my help of opening the doors and lighting her way.
Stares Across the Dance Floor
Upon finishing her smoke, Lyssa came back inside and acquainted me of how Ace kept staring at her once I had sat down and he was dancing with Tamsen and Min-Su. He had this gawky grin on his face as he stared at Lyssa and she started to get pissed off. What’s more, Lyssa advised me that Ralf looked at Lyssa and then said something to Min-Su who in turn chatted with Ace and then, they all in turn looked at Lyssa.
Pissed off the most with Min-Su who rather gave her a death stare, Lyssa was geared up to walk over there and start slapping some heads. Nope, that’s my terminology. What I meant to say was that Lyssa was so infuriated that she was urged to head over to Min-Su and confront her by saying, and I quote “What the fuck is your problem!”
It seems that Lyssa and everyone else I know to be acquaintances apart from Jett has some sort of problem with Lyssa. They will not tell me their true feelings because they respect my opinions but I know to some extent how they all feel about Lyssa and I know how she feels about them. With Tamsen, Min-Su and the rest of them it’s probably been a resentful hate where they hate how attractive she is.
Why I Sat Down All Night
The topic changed to why I didn’t dance at the nightclub and basically I told Lyssa the truth and made her upset for herself in the progress. Half of the reason was that I wasn’t feeling up to dancing but the other half was of the comment about my hair that Lyssa made and the fact that Lyssa was there.
For one, I felt embarrassed to dance around Lyssa and people like Penelope who would always be judging me as I did dance and in the confidence that I lost through the night by Lyssa’s comment about my hair, that was enough to make me sit down for the rest of the night. Lyssa felt bad about being a contributing cause in making me sit down and she informed me she was only joking when she advised me that my hair was girly. And so I sat down, less my confidence or what I had left of it for the rest of the night.
A Cool Night Together
Lyssa kept asking me for hugs as I lay there keeping to myself for most of the time we were together. The only reason Lyssa became intimate was because she wanted a hug and asking Lyssa to roll towards me and give me a hug wasn’t asking too much. Lyssa done just that two or three times through the night but each time she was disappointed and more convinced that I didn’t want her around because I didn’t want to instigate a hug.
Nothing at all happened sexual and that was due to me keeping to myself and showing no real affection unless Lyssa asked for it. There was a good reason to these actions which are quite simple, you cannot be affectionate to one that cannot show the same worth. Around 5:00 a.m. Lyssa and I decided to turn the television off and get ourselves some sleep.
Lyssa crashed almost straight away as I kept tossing and turning in bed. Hugging was not a part of our content in sleeping but I did place my hand under Lyssa’s head and my arm around her later in the night. By Lyssa’s half awake response it seemed that Lyssa keeping so still was just a decoy. It seems that Lyssa had been awake all that time I was wriggling around probably trying to figure out why I detested Lyssa so.
Time to Stop Writing
Well, now all I have to speak of is my nights just passed being Saturday night and that I did in my day and I should be finished with chronology. Let me remind myself that the time is now exactly 8:00 a.m. and yet, I’m not sure whether I should continue in my Diary or finish up.
Before I leave let me just note that I need to take some ‘Anti-Pathetisicm’ lessons so that I can stop being so pathetic and lame when it comes to speaking with my ripened seat of passion, my emotions. Yep, I’ve decided I’ll end my entry here and continue on Sunday some time. Besides, how much action can I get into on a Sunday to prevent me from writing in this here Diary, knock on wood…
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
