My Slow Motion Walk Across the Dance Floor (Part 2) – Mad Chaos: January 24, 1999

Bloated Stomach and Bad Nerves

Half of the reason I didn’t want to head out to the nightclub was because my stomach was bloated from eating so much food after my workout. Not only that but I was going to the toilet every half an hour with the disease of the bowels and each time I would attend the bathroom to do my smelly deed I would feel somewhat better and all the more skinnier for it.

My stomach was unbelievably bloated and looking at myself side on with this stomach sticking out of my shirt it was a detrimental factor for me heading out with confidence. While at the nightclub in Macarthur Square I visited the toilet almost straight away keeping myself in there for five minutes and then once again right at the end of the night when the last song played.

Hiding Away from the Lights

Coming back from the toilets I made my way to everyone who were still standing and wanting to get out of the limelight and to somewhere where I was much more comfortable I urged Keith to come with me. Tamsen, Min-Su and Ace started to dance with each other and watching Tamsen dance I knew she was trying to impress and Keith was just a fly on the wall at that particular time.

Keith also seemed to be moody and down in the dumps, probably because of what I had just explained. So we walked around looking for a seat to sit ourselves down at and after some searching we came to some empty chairs out in the middle of nowhere. We found seats down the stairs and in front of the entrance doors where there is absolutely no one.

Looking like loners as we sat down here without much of a word to each other I noticed Penelope right above us on the dance floor but the railing next to us was high enough for us not to be able to see them. Gathering that Lyssa was also up there I realized that they were having their St. Pats party.

Back to the Wall

Sitting all alone was getting boring so we both jumped up on my call and began our walk back to the spot we were at before. Making our way back over to the wall Ace, Tamsen and Min-Su came to join us as Ralf kept on dancing with Shayma and the rest of them on this lit up stage.

It would have been good and danceable if there weren’t so many lights upon the stage because it made me feel uncomfortable. The other reason I didn’t want to dance was because I was uncomfortable about how my hair looked. Before leaving I didn’t really style it at all and considering it’s a tad too short and the ends curl when I leave it out I thought I would look like a girl to a degree.

My Slow Motion Walk

When I was passing through the crowd with my usual stern, lean and mean walking style I imagine as I mostly do to look hardened, that I was on a mission. When I walk and I want to walk with style I imagine that I am moving slow motion in a movie and with the crowd noise turned down to a maximum low volume the silence concentrates on my fluid movement.

Step to step I drag in front of me sweeping the floor with my tenacious boots, swinging confidently my shoulders slightly to each side bringing my shoulder and back forward with the hand and curving my torso to meet my confident fearless desire. Usually keeping my focus centered in the direction I want to head and never straying my merciless eyes from its cause I made my powerful but fluid walk. All I hear apart from the almost silent crowd and pounding music is the echoing sound in my mind of my feet sweeping and then touching ground, bringing forward my arm and shoulder to swing me upon my next echoing reverb within my slow motion mind.

This walk of mine makes me feel undaunted and the master of my domain and this walk of mine does attract a couple of glares. From the corner of my eye I see guys getting out of my way as if I was on a mission and they were like sheep placed in the way of a wolf. Then there were girls that also gave me a glance or two and that gave me a slight part of confidence.

Lyssa Spots My Haircut

Ace was eyeing girls left right and center as they walked past but none of them really caught his sights. Seeing Lyssa out of the corner of my eye making her way back to her friends she also noticed me and double looking at me I waved to her. Lyssa also waved back and then I found her standing over near Penelope having a chat with her. From what Keith had informed me Lyssa was talking to Penelope and using hand gestures as if to say that I had cut my hair short.

Within seconds I noticed Lyssa making her way towards me and before I could even say anything Ace noticed her and with a huge smile on his face he tapped on my shoulder with anticipation to say “Whoa, look at her.” That I did alright and once Lyssa was upon me I wished I had seen Ace’s face of curiosity when I started talking to Lyssa so freely. At first he must have thought I was just trying to pick up but then he probably found out from Tamsen or Keith that it was my ex girlfriend, the one he had seen in pictures.

Lyssa Is Loud and Cranky

While speaking with Lyssa she made a gesture to Ace as if to say “What, stop looking at me you pervert” and I didn’t turn around or think nothing of it. Lyssa informed me she was here with 12 other girls from St. Pats including Nikita, Penelope, Constantine, DJ, Litzy, Rhiannon, Delphine and a whole cast of others. With them was also Kieran who was dancing carelessly with Nikita and Lyssa also informed me that Pedro was there and asked if I wanted to see him.

Lyssa and I just chatted about how she thought I wasn’t coming down and how I was basically pressured into coming down so I did. Lyssa as I have noted before just sounded a tad loud and obnoxious because her having drunk eight glasses of alcohol and considering she is on antibiotics that doubles your alcohol level, she was pretty bad. Lyssa wasn’t saying much that pissed me off but it was just the negativity that was coming from her mouth about Tamsen, Ace, Keith, Dominic and everything else in the night.

Lyssa also informed me once seeing me that I looked like a girl with my hair cut and I really took that to heart which made me all the less confident. Later in the night Lyssa informed me how she was only saying that out of sarcasm because she didn’t want to be heard by my friends but she didn’t know what lasting hurt it cost me. For the rest of the night I didn’t dance and rather wanted to sit myself down and await the night’s ending.

Ace Apologizes

Once Lyssa and I finished chatting she made her way back to her friends and then Ace turned to me and apologized for speaking like that about Lyssa being my ex girlfriend. It didn’t really bother me the slightest and you know why… Lyssa is so hard to get and acts like an ‘As If’ girl that I know Lyssa wouldn’t even give him a second look if he tried to dance with her.

On top of that Lyssa informed me that she didn’t like how he looked once I had informed her of who he was, Lyssa couldn’t care less. I would consider Lyssa’s reserved affection having only been given fully to me a blessing. A blessing that she is like me in not getting onto at nightclubs and a wonder how I even got to be with her so long considering now I have evaluated our huge differences.

Later in the night when Lyssa slept over she informed me of how Kieran was trying to dance up on her and Nikita but Lyssa kept pushing him back because she feared I was watching and that I would get angry. Well, personally, if I had seen Kieran doing what I had heard he done I would not only be fuming but I would be breaking some of his teeth the next time I had seen him.

Old Friends and Odd Memories

Seeing Stan (Jett’s brother) and Fitz (An old friend I once had in a séance at my house, Stan was also there with Jett) sitting upon some seats I made my way over to chat with them. In this time that I chatted with them I told Keith to go out and dance with his girlfriend. Stan complimented me on how I looked and so did Fitz as we talked about the Gym and the séance we once had at my house where the fly flew into the candle flame combusting but still living.

That was a weird night and a weird occurrence that happened after we had asked the spirit to give us a sign he was listening. They soon left to find their third friend and gathering Keith we sat down on a table together, this time not as desolate. While seated I noticed Summer and Saha walk past and they looked over my way but tried not to look at me.

They were either thinking that I look so different and didn’t want to approach me or they just hated to chat with me because I’m not a very good talker anymore. While seated Tod with the MR2 that heads to Olympus Gym done the same thing. He walked past but rather, he second glanced me and kept walking wondering if he should say hello to me. He came back minutes later and his glance and then second glance to me as I waved was pretty faked, I knew he knew I was sitting there.

When he did come over to chat he informed me (Another person) how big I looked and gave me a compliment by asking “Are you on steroids now.” When someone says that to you then you can guarantee you’re looking good for the night but just to ease some of the good attention away from me I pulled up my shirt and showed him my flabby stomach, or what should have been. We chatted for a minute or two and then he was off on his rounds.

Waiting for Midnight

Most of the people at Macarthur Square’s new nightclub I knew from Campbelltown or from school and it was a weird situation. There was also little snoop who was there with his girlfriend for the night and I also had seen him tonight at ‘Waves’. For the rest of the night Keith and I basically sat in our little space of seats and a table, waiting for the night to end.

Blank were our expressions and also as repetitive was the beating of the bass as the dissatisfaction was among us. The night luckily for us ended at midnight as the bar did close at that time. For Friday night admission was free but I feel that now they will charge admission as everyone has had a glimpse of it. Upon leaving and saying goodbye to Tamsen and Min-Su for the night the three of them were trying to persuade me to head out to Chevy’s with them.

That to me wasn’t a possibility as I just wanted to head home where I had a comb handy and where I could just ease my problems onto my computer as I have been for so many years now. Anyway, I did go home even though I was going to ask one of them to shout me in but considering that they left after ten minutes in there my night wouldn’t have been worth it.