Drifting Apart One Weekend at a Time (Part 3) – Mad Chaos: December 6, 1998

Too Tired for the Gym

Being fairly tired I didn’t end up going to the Gym but instead jumped into bed after having something to eat. The time was around midday when I fell asleep and three hours after that (This is when I actually had the dream I think) Lyssa gave me a call from her house. The conversation wasn’t very full which brings me to another point. Ever so slowly after Lyssa and I started hanging around with each other after breaking up we have been growing more distant and even though neither of us have our eyes on anyone special we’re growing apart.

Growing Apart on Weekends

In reality, Lyssa and I shouldn’t even be this friendly, every weekend having sex and the rest of the shebang. The only times Lyssa and I get together these days is those times we are having sex but before it was a little more than that.

Before I would visit Lyssa’s house on occasion but now it’s just sex, that’s all it is and not very good sex on my behalf at that. Lyssa rings me plenty of times on the phone and even though we talk in quantity the quality of our conversation is scarce. Lyssa and I talked about the next time we would probably see each other and in the worst case it’s going to be the last couple of days in this year.

You see, gradual downfall until one of us gets another partner, that’s how I see it. We’re both just going to use each other for sex how we have been for a while until we find ourselves a new mate. That’s another thing, sex was magnificent that time Lyssa and I visited the hotel right after breaking up and when I got rid of Jewell and I went to see Lyssa again the sex that night was also magnificent.

One or two times after that it was pretty special but gradually my pleasure has descended to almost nothing now. I don’t reap any rewards out of our sexuality while Lyssa’s getting her orgasm’s every time we take our clothes off. It’s not right and I feel that I’m getting exploited, letting Lyssa take advantage of me and my position. Still, I buckle every time she wants to come over in my free time and I’m always getting disappointed.

When I Last Felt Love

I think the last time that I felt love for Lyssa was the time I almost tripped her up on the stairs, when Lyssa woke up and went looking for me. Actually, Lyssa done the exact same thing Friday night when I was making us both something to eat but this time she done it with the light on.

Lyssa thought of coming upstairs even though my dad was up there but in the end she didn’t. Have you noticed the difference, when’s the last time you heard me speak freely of loving Lyssa in my Diary. When’s the last time I have devoted a paragraph of affectionate words to Lyssa. Heck, I haven’t even put back up the presents that she had given back to me and now she’s found the moon ring but still hasn’t remembered to bring it.

Girlfriends Make Me Lazy

After my conversation with Lyssa (Where she asked me to call her back around 6:00 p.m.) I drifted off back to sleep for an hour or two more. I could have jumped out of bed to head for the Gym but I wasn’t fit for it and I hadn’t had much to eat. That brings me to another factor that I have been thinking about. These lazy days when Lyssa comes over my house are heavily overloaded. Frankly, in my situation I think that a girlfriend figure was weighing me down and making me lazy.

Back in the day when I was working I wanted to quit so I could be with my girlfriend (Both Lyssa and Jewell in my former days) and when I quit work I was always there for Lyssa. Despite that we were always being lazy at home and because of that lazy factor I didn’t bother doing much thinks that I do now that I’m single. Those things start with my bodybuilding now where I became lazy in the last two days missing a workout because Lyssa was around to motivation in getting a job.

The couple factor didn’t allow me to go out with my friends as much but I guess back then I considered going out with Ali a night out with my friends. I must also confess though that with the strength back then that I had of my friends and the same strength I have now with them (Although it is a little bit closer and fluctuated) I will still feel obliged to spend a night with my girlfriend rather than my friends gathering she has nothing to do. A girlfriend is your best friend when you spend time together, that’s my belief.

Keith Collects Me for a Drive

Waking myself up around 6:30 p.m. I had myself a shower, something to eat and then started playing on the computer. While on my computer I gave Keith a quick call at 7:30 p.m. to see if anything was going on for our Saturday night. Loud was the background and as I told him who it was he asked if he could call back later seeming he was at the cinemas.

That was fine by me as I kept playing on my computer still unaware that Lyssa asked me to call her for the night. The reason I didn’t pick up the phone to call Lyssa anyway was because I thought she had gone out around this time, I was wrong.

Half an hour after calling Keith he drove down my street to pick me up and once again I asked myself did I want to go out and gathered that it was better than spending a night in front of the computer, kind of like now. Heading to Ingleburn we went to see Tatton at Mobil but instead of stopping we let him know we were there. From that point Keith told me that Tamsen was at some work party and Tamsen didn’t want him to go to this party so he thought he would snoop around for it.

This pissed me off because personally I don’t like Tamsen for a starters and secondly he’s with his friends. Rule of thumb, don’t seek a relationship while with your friends unless that relationship calls you up. If you go looking as if desperate for your companions companionship you won’t score much points from your tiring friends. I predict that Keith’s going to get fucked up by Imad spreading information about him and Phoenix to Tamsen, I can see that in the future.

Keith the Jealous Boyfriend

Not being able to find where Tamsen’s party was supposed to be Keith was only going off the information that it was in Macquarie Fields and that he owned large land. Keith is very much a jealous man when it comes to the opposite sex. It wasn’t only with Tamsen but with her he seems to care about the most stupidest things I would laugh at. He’s always checking up on her, she never goes out to nightclubs (Or at least I haven’t heard of such), he’s always calling to check up on her and he annoys her by trying to take her away from functions.

Keith is pretty bad when it comes to not believing his girlfriend won’t cheat on him and even now he has the notion that she’s banging someone and not telling him. When you consider he’s fucked someone behind her back and not only that but has been involved with her for over six months, that a bit much to compete against.

Keith the Penny Pincher

Keith also takes the cake by acting more broke than me and as he will always be money hungry and economic with his money he does the same with Tamsen’s money. Like Keith would rather take out someone else’s car instead of his own for any type of trip he would make Tamsen pay for most things even though he’s making his own money.

That I say is pretty bad and when you think about it he’s a bit of everyone but worse. Ali’s was pretty bad at spying on Penelope and protecting her but he’s toned down so Keith takes the cake in that category. Money wise you would think I would have been the one to scab off Lyssa because she had it and I didn’t but that wasn’t me and Keith is the complete opposite of my actions.

I feel guilty when Lyssa has to pay for something with her own money, Keith feels much better off. Keith’s also bad when it comes to piking it and going home early and also his undying love to be in front of a television screen of some sort. Lyssa thought I was like that when first I bought my computer and I probably was because I had to upgrade my Diary but that soon wore off and I didn’t touch my computer when she was over.