Turning Twenteen With Empty Promises (Part 1) – Mad Chaos: January 18, 1999

Turning Twenteen Today

Today is indeed my birthday and as sure as tomorrow comes I have lived yet just another day. The thought of turning twenty and no longer being in my teens didn’t hit me until Lyssa reminded me but even then, my adulthood didn’t phase me. Today I haven’t turned twenty but I have turned twenteen. This of course means that I am still a teenager at heart, nothing different but I guess I should start looking into what I really want to do with my life.

From this day forth I am really setting myself out to get a job for the year, something that I won’t give up, something that I will like. I know you’re probably wanting to know what’s happened this weekend since it’s been two nights now since I’ve written so let me begin.

Three Things Before Chronology

Before I do let me also note three things. The first is that I haven’t seen any cockroaches in the bathroom since a couple of days ago when I killed my last cockroach. The taste is still in my mouth for some bug brains to splatter but I guess I have to wait for the suckers to grow. The second point is that I’ve had such a full weekend that I will probably start another trilogy of literature here in this diary but I guess that leads to the third point.

This third point being my Biorhythm Cycles and the dates that I feel are out of whack. You see, on Saturday night I started feeling mentally drained and I might point out also that I’ve been getting slight headaches for the past two days. It could have been from the dinner with Lyssa but it could also be my cycles changing over. For the past two nights I haven’t been inspired to write any poetry and haven’t had any thoughts in my head but, let’s hope that my metal cycle prediction isn’t true. Anyway, here is my cycle and then let’s get to the chronology.

Physical 23 DAY CYCLE 22nd DAY -10

Emotional 28 DAY CYCLE 6th DAY +6

Mental 33 DAY CYCLE 25th DAY -8

Friday Gym Log Recited

Before I go any further let me first note that I forgot to mention my Gym workout for Friday so here I will have to recite that very workout to the best of my ability. That of course was Friday and I still have to write about when Lyssa came to my house on Friday night well after my entry.

Back: Starting with my two minute warm-up on the bikes I moved to Neutral Grip Lat Pulldowns. After my warm-up there I moved to Close Grip Lat Pulldowns and with 150 pounds performed 12 reps. From there I moved to Neutral Grip Lat Pulldowns and with the same weight I managed another 10 reps. Moving now to Reverse Grip Lat Pulldowns with 160 pounds I performed 12 reps. Taking the weight down to 140 pounds I performed another great set of 12 reps.

Moving to the Lat Pushdown Machine with 160 pounds I performed 25 reps to warm-up the back more. Moving to Seated Cable Rows with 150 pounds I performed a set of 12 reps. Taking myself now to T-Bar Rows with 120 pounds stacked up I managed 10 reps but with a strain on my back. Taking the weight down to 80 pounds I performed 12 easy reps. Moving now to One Arm Dumbbell Rows with 70 pounds I managed 12 reps per arm. Lastly for back I managed a set with 50 pounds of Cable Upright Rows for 12 reps.

Triceps: Warming up on Triceps Pushdown I increased the weight to 80 pounds and with that managed 12 reps. From there I marched over to Lying Cable Triceps Extension and with 65 pounds managed 12 reps. Next was Triceps Kickback but only with 10 pounds this time around. Each hand used 15 reps and on the top of each rep I would hold the weight, a great exercise. Lastly I performed one set of Overhead Dumbbell Extensions with 60 pounds performing 12 reps.

Abdominals: Changing the pace somewhat spurred on by a past workout a couple of months ago I started with 30 pounds and performed 50 grueling reps. When that set was done I placed the weight to 50 pounds and performed another 20 reps. Taking the weight back down to 40 pounds I performed 20 more reps. Lastly I moved to Low Ab Crunches to perform 15 loose reps.

Waiting for Lyssa to Arrive

Now that we’ve established the grounds of my Gym workout for Friday let me now talk about the rest of the evening. To begin, my wait for Lyssa was seen to a halt as I heard a car coming up my street sounding like a shit box. Well I knew whose car it was when it parked out the front of my house and all excited from Lyssa’s proposition and promise earlier in the night, I had cleaned up my room.

On top of that, before or after finishing my typing in my Diary I had myself a long bath to clean myself as Lyssa suggested and then coming downstairs I had a further shower to eradicate any other little nasties. With all this preparation going into the night you would expect that something great happened and as I give nothing away of the night, no emotions, let me continue with chronology.

Stories From the Catholic Club

Inviting Lyssa into my room she went straight in taking off her shoes and sitting on my waterbed. Lyssa started telling me about her night at the Catholic Club and how she had noticed Keith, Tamsen, Tatton, Ralf, Shawn and the rest of them down there. Lyssa told me how she was going to walk up to Tamsen and give her a good old push and shove but Devon walked in front of her face, well one of them ferrets who likes Lyssa.

Lyssa told me how she had four drinks bought for her and I think that Kieran and Milton were also down there trying to kiss her ass. Can you feel the tension constantly building up between me and the people that are trying to kiss Lyssa’s ass in hopes of one day being able to really kiss her ass, not likely. Lyssa had a couple to drink as I’ve noted and even though I could smell it on her breath she didn’t act drunk in any way.

A Promise Made at Chilis

Lyssa promised me some oral when she got back from her night out with Penelope which I thought was alright only because I thought I would get appeased later in the night. Lyssa brought up the fact that she wanted to go down on me while we were at Chili’s and I asked her while we were there “Are you sure” because I didn’t want her to change her mind once we were at my house and totally fuck up my expectations.

I figured that if Lyssa was keen on going down on me as she promised at Chili’s, I wouldn’t have to ask her to go down on me. She would just do it because it would be embedded in her mind as a favor back to me. Anyway, I tried all through the night not to hint at all about the sexual stimulation that was promised to me.

Five Dollars and Scabby Claims

But back to my normal story, I found it funny that Lyssa asked about the five dollars in my wallet for the movie almost straight away. Lyssa thinks I’m greedy with money and I’m scabby but I have reasons to withhold my money. First of all, let me just note that I am earning four times less than her and the money that I do receive I am lucky to scrape by with. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this but when Lyssa went to ring up Penelope on a public phone while we were at Chili’s to start the ruining of my night, she asked me for some money.

Lyssa had more than a hundred dollars in her purse and although she didn’t have any phone change she had a one and two dollar coin. Now Lyssa asked if I had any change and saying that I only had three dollars and my lowest coin being a dollar Lyssa asked if she could use that.

Considering she had the same denomination in her purse, I tried telling her that this was my only money for Saturday night but she didn’t want to hear it and tried telling me I was tight with my money. “I’ll give you back the money” she said to me and knowing I can never believe that, I kissed my money goodbye and gave it to her. The money did disappear and Lyssa never did return it but I guess I got it back when Lyssa never claimed her five dollars.

The moral of the story is that Lyssa was being tight and bitchy and the reason I gave her the money without hassle was because she was being loud and most in Macdonald’s could hear. On top of that, when we had to head for Sizzlers to use their phone Lyssa made me walk first through a crowded line waiting to pay. This of course would make me look like the culprit if anyone thought I was pushing in, just like Lyssa to use me as a human shield when she didn’t really need me.

Lyssa and Her Responsibilities

Lyssa’s main problem apart from her attitude is that she never wants to face up to her responsibilities. To start with, the one dollar that she burrowed from me, she knew that she would never get the chance to pay it off and never even tried. Also, when Lyssa wants to run away from her responsibilities she usually just stays quiet trying not to speak or she changes the subject.

I think it’s about time to state that Lyssa never did go down on me for more than two seconds and that not only tarnishes my name in these pages of this Diary for being so into the idea but it also hurts me. I try never to hurt Lyssa’s feelings or have her do anything she doesn’t want to do and because of that Lyssa walks all over me.

Lyssa promised me she would give me great oral but when it came to the punch and both Lyssa and I were lying in my room with the lights off she said nothing. Rather, Lyssa’s excuse kept being “I’ve got such a headache” and even though it might have been true, how much times have I heard that one right before Lyssa has to commit.

Hopes Raised Then Dodged

Lyssa didn’t go down on me on Friday night and I’m not angry because she didn’t but because of her getting my hopes up by promising, trying to avoid the issue completely and then crushing me by stating that she can’t go through with it. While we were watching television and lying on the ground together Lyssa kept telling me she was tired and had a headache but in the same breath she was informing me of how horny she was.

If Lyssa was so horny then she would have gone down on me but Lyssa decided not to speak a word of that and rather be selfish with herself. Lyssa knew because of her period and the pad she had on that nothing could happen for her but stupid me had to be pleasing to Lyssa’s cries. Lyssa would drift off to sleep but you could tell by her comments while trying to get to sleep that she really wanted to keep awake and have something happen.