Kieran Walks in on Me (Part 4) – Mad Chaos: November 5, 1998

Phone Calls and Suspicion

The following week on Tuesday I was at Lyssa’s house and that night I got hot with Lyssa in the bedroom but after a telephone call Lyssa acted like our little sexual act meant nothing to her and we stopped for the night. I didn’t write who called Lyssa but that’s because Lyssa failed to tell me. Right now I can presume it was Bielka who called Lyssa and I can also presume that they were speaking about Kieran, Channing and they might even have known Ace back then.

Actually, Ace could have been there that night with Lyssa at the ‘Dungeon’ and it’s already 4:30 a.m. in the morning so I’m going to wait until 6:00 a.m. to talk with Lyssa before she heads to work. Sure it’s a bit weird and I shouldn’t really care considering I cheated on Lyssa but this flower I thought was so pure and was so strict about being loyal could actually have turned on her words…

Left Alone in the Bedroom

The next day which was Wednesday from which I stayed over Lyssa’s house we had the house to ourselves except for Kuper who stayed home from work. For the whole day we were trying to get it on but the phone would continually ring. Now I would never lie in my Diary but the facts are this and I strongly stressed on the point that Lyssa lost her libido when Bielka gave her a call.

I can remember that day so distinctly, especially that moment because it made me feel so much like shit knowing that Lyssa turned so quickly off me once she started talking to Bielka. The problem then started as Lyssa came into the bedroom and told me that Bielka offered her a smoke so she wanted to have one while I was at her house.

In my mind I knew that if Lyssa had done this then I would have to walk away from the both of them because I didn’t want to watch Lyssa have a smoke and I didn’t want to be left alone or feel like a loner. Now that I’ve had time to think about that moment I feel that Lyssa only caused that friction between the both of us because she wanted to have some time alone talking with Bielka.

The reason once again was so she could speak about Channing and Kieran and while I was left alone in Lyssa’s room I snuck around the corner to listen to their conversation. I still remember to this day hearing them speak about Kieran and Channing and back then I thought nothing of it. Lyssa, so attentive with a smoke in her hand, cool and calm she smiled Bielka’s way impressed with the news she was hearing like she was fascinated with the guys she was now hanging out with.

Off You Go Then

Before Bielka came over Lyssa and I were fabulous, going at it, loving each other. While Bielka was at Lyssa’s house the both of them ignored me the whole time and I felt the pain sitting alone in Lyssa’s room, abandoned. So much times I thought t head home but I didn’t for the fact that I loved Lyssa and wanted to get to the bottom of how she could change her thoughts of me so quickly.

It was obvious that Lyssa started to dislike me as soon as she had her conversation with Bielka. When Bielka left Lyssa walked to the kitchen and didn’t even acknowledge I was there, how cruel. I had to walk out there and tell her I was leaving and what really pissed me off was when Lyssa said to me “Off you go then”, like she didn’t even care about me.

That really got me in the heart, those words shattered me and what shattered me more was that Lyssa didn’t care when I walked out the door, Lyssa didn’t care when I walked past the park near her backyard and Lyssa didn’t care when I gave her a call from Leumeah Station. Lyssa didn’t care and the reason, one of the guys that Bielka hung around. It all makes sense now, that night when I came home Lyssa and I had a massive argument over the phone and it carried on to when I went out with Ali to the runs.

Our conversation ended with Lyssa telling me for the first time ever (And last time) that she needed some time to herself and didn’t want me to call her tomorrow because she was going to be out with her friends. Now I haven’t read past that but I can just tell who she was going out with, Bielka, Kieran and the rest of them.

The Compatibility Notepad

Those were all the major words spoken about Kieran and Channing until March this year when I found a little notepad where Lyssa had those little graphs that show how compatible you are to a guy. What really pissed me off was that Lyssa tried the compatibility test with everyone but me. The two names that Lyssa used on that test were that of Imad’s and that of Channing. When I think about it, Imad could be ‘Hakim’ the one that Lyssa thinks is attractive now because she’s liked him for so long. Channing of course is the one that is supposed to be gay by Lyssa’s words but he in fact likes girls too.

Well that is my whole story and now the time is 5:39 a.m. and I have read through half of this years Diary and everything every written about Kieran and Channing, including Bielka. It’s time to get off this Diary and get myself prepared for calling Lyssa because I want a couple of answers from her, what better time that the present. Right now I might not be making sense with this jargon because I seem a little angry but I’m sure when I wake up I’ll be alright and can explain in detail what this all means.

Keith is going to talk to Ace regarding what he can’t say to Keith about his conversation with Kieran but I’ve given Keith one week before I ask him personally and I know either of them won’t like that. The only good news I can shed is that my flu is finally gone, disappeared, or was it Hay-Fever…

Calling Lyssa at Work

Thursday 10:12 p.m.

Alive was kept of my day even though my lids wanted to close and as heavy as they were they had a brisk chance. As far as interrogating Lyssa went I gave her a call at 6:00 a.m. in the morning but after five rings her brother answered the phone so I just hung up. Lyssa told me she was late for work and for the next two hours I had something to eat, listened to music and waited patiently and drained so I could give Lyssa a call at work.

The time arrived to 8:30 a.m. or just after so I thought to call Lyssa as she would most probably be at work. Talking to the other Lyssa on the phone she told me Lyssa wasn’t in and asked me to give Lyssa a call at 9:00 a.m. Having myself a shower to cool down my thoughts and prepare myself for the phone call I walked back into my room and called Lyssa’s work again. The other Lyssa once again answered the phone and informed me that Lyssa hadn’t come to work but when she did she would get her to call back.

One minute later the phone called back and it was Lyssa on the phone asking me if anything was wrong. You see, the purpose of my phone call was to see if Lyssa knew Ace and interrogate her about when she used to hang out with Channing and Kieran to see if she had feelings for any of them. Telling Lyssa that I had been up for the whole night she told me that I never usually call her so early in the morning but she gathered it was because I hadn’t slept.

The real reason was evident but I just told Lyssa I was bored and yes, I did call her at 6:00 a.m. to hang up on her brother. For ten minutes we just talked about Devon and Lyssa wanted to see if we could watch a movie together for the day at her house. Lyssa spent ten minutes on the phone with me but just as she was leaving I asked for Lyssa to talk for another minute or two and in that time I smoothly brought up the topic of Ace and asked Lyssa if she knew him.

A Stumble on the Line

Lyssa told me she didn’t know Ace (Even though she knows he drives the car ‘ICATCHA’). Then I said to Lyssa “Really, because Ace told me that you and Penelope used to walk into Mobil and speak with him when we were going out with each other”.

Lyssa stumbled on her words just after this giving me reason to believe that something was wrong but for the rest of the day Lyssa gave me nothing but reassurance in her wording that nothing happened and no thoughts were in her head about any of the guys. The reason Lyssa stopped hanging out with Channing and Kieran was for the reason that Ali and I didn’t like them and both Lyssa and Penelope didn’t want to cause trouble with their boyfriends so they chose to say goodbye to the enemy.

After my phone call with Lyssa I gave Keith a call around 9:30 a.m. and waking up from his sleep we made arrangements to head for Campbelltown. Seeming it would be a couple of hours until I could talk with Lyssa while she was on switch at 1:00 p.m. I had some time to kill. Keith drove over in half an hour and packing my analog phone and with Keith buying a new sim card for his Digital phone we were going to try and get a trade in for my old phone and get me some money.

Inside Ace House

Jumping into Keith’s car we firstly drove to Centrelink where I handed in that form and from there we drove to Ace’s house to drop his movie and video player. Keith and I stepped into his house and I noticed a touch of class in the furniture and surroundings. The candles I noticed the most in their delicate candleholders. The television screen was large and he had a relatively good sound system.

Keith told me just before we arrived at his house that he found out what the problem was with Kieran that Ace had heard. It was what I was suspecting all along, Kieran was angry from when Ali spoke rudely to him on the phone when they were heading to the ‘Dungeon’ and then the rest of the days after that when we gave them grimacing looks.

Lyssa didn’t really have anything to do with the picture, Kieran probably only said “Is Tony the guy that is going out with that girl called Lyssa, the blonde one”. While at Ace’s house we sat around discussing the clear water in his fish tank and then we heard a car pull up with a system pumping and I presumed it was Ace’s car with his girlfriend inside. Keith was looking at me and winking his eyes as if to say “Here she comes, take a good look at her” but I read his face wrong.

As Kieran walked through the door and said hello to Keith I turned my face towards him. Startled, he stepped back in surprise and nervously said hello to me probably wondering what I was doing at Ace’s house. Kieran didn’t stay in my face for too long as he walked into the kitchen away from my view. Keith decided to leave at this time so we said goodbye to Ace at the front door who was also traveling to Campbelltown later.