Four young men stand scattered and indecisive, one pointing at an exit, one shrugging, one checking his watch and one gesturing angrily.

No Seats Left For Austin Powers (Part 3)

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This is an excerpt from a real diary entry from the Diary of a Mad Chaos, written on June 20, 1999. Learn more about the history of the diary

Waiting For The Movie

Jumping ahead now to when my last diary entry of Saturday night was cut short, I was alarmed to Keith’s car heading up my street, carrying on with his usual awakening beeps. Preparing myself to head to Keith’s house so we could watch Football I just chucked some stuff on, sprayed some ‘Chrome’ perfume for later in the night and then headed outside to jump in his car.

On the way we picked up Shawn as Keith told me Binh and one of Binh’s friends from work would be meeting up with us at Keith’s house. It was starting to get dark as we arrived at Keith’s house and bypassing his parents who were watching television in the lounge room Keith concealed us to his room. There we watched Football for an hour or two as Binh and his friend also turned up later in the night.

The vibe of ‘Austin Powers’ was in the air and as Keith was walking around the house not knowing what he was doing we put on the original ‘Austin Powers’. Shawn noted that Keith had the original so looking through his pile of movies in which I believe he is trying to rip of the authenticity of Ace’s video collection, we started to watch the original ‘Austin Powers’.

Racing To The Cinema

As the hours passed through our night the question kept being asked as to what time we were watching the movie. Asking Keith to call Greater Union so we would know what time to leave we found the time slot we wanted to watch was premiering at 9:20 p.m. When the time arrived to 9:00 p.m. we decided to turn off the original movie and head out to the movies. Keith was trying his usual stunt of getting the five of us to jump in Binh’s car but we eventually took two cars down.

I hate Keith when he gets like that, so selfish and clung to traveling at other people’s expense. No matter, we jumped in the cars and made our way to Macarthur Square, not particularly dressed to kill. Binh picked up Leroy on the way and as we heard that he was coming along I was told about the plans for next weekend and how everyone was heading to Kangaroo Valley. I’ve heard good stories about this place and as I was invited I accepted the offer enthusiastically.

From what I hear, Leroy’s going to take his air rifle, Shawn’s going to take his cousin’s canoe and we’re going to borrow Ace’s huge tent to sleep in overnight. It will definitely be a camera event where varied pictures can be taken but it will also be great if some girlies can be invited along. Speaking of the weekend, I want to finally put a plan together for this Friday night before we think of heading out to Kangaroo Valley.

Fed Up With The Group

I want to plan a night in the City with just Binh, Tyler, Ace and myself where the destination could probably be ‘Retro’. If the idea swells in my mind over these next couple of days I’ll consider ringing the three of them to see if they want to make it a plan but if not, I’ll consider ringing up Johnnie and just getting acquainted with him again. It would be great to go out to some club or outing with Johnnie as he’s matured in sense.

To tell you the truth, I’m sick of the little group I go out with these days, I want to expand my horizons not diminish them. With people like Keith who feel sorry for themselves only to head home early and ruin it for everyone else or someone like Ralf who likes to make your night worthless with his dribbling shit, I hate going out.

Standing Around Macarthur Square

Making our way to Macarthur Square and parking we walked into the Cinemas only to have Binh inform us that ‘Austin Powers’ was practically sold out. Binh tried to jokingly blame it on me for wanting to watch the original ‘Austin Powers’ but who’s to know that ten minutes before showing it would be sold out. Actually, there was fourteen seats left available but no one wanted to be sitting in the front seats only to get sore necks at the end of it all.

Therefore, we stood around not knowing what to do and in that time Ralf showed up. When we were driving to the movies Keith had seen Ralf’s car at his house and decided to call him up. Inviting Ralf down with his sweet deceptive lies Ralf bit the bait and somehow from that moment on my detestable loathing for Ralf made me anticipate a debacle of a night.

I made a suggestion to head to Liverpool to watch the same movie and as the idea spread around Keith called up and found the movie to be playing at 11:00 p.m. Asking the rounds to see if anyone wanted to head out to Liverpool people were interested but not upon the fact that it would cost thirteen dollars. Therefore, confusion set upon us as to what would actually happen for the night and there I knew, my night was going down the shitter.

Ralf Threatens To Go Home

Binh was in one corner continually bickering about our being disorganized and Ralf was in the other corner saying his usual “If you can’t tell me what we’re doing in the next couple of seconds, I’m going home”. How impatient is Ralf and how full of himself does he get when he takes advantage of his now having a car. Ralf is almost to the point of flaunting his new car as he tries to include his authority of independence in little threats like ‘He’s going home’.

Personally, I didn’t care if Ralf was going home but his constant upheaval of questioning was confusing our order of planning for the night. Ralf was getting on my nerves with his continual boastful nonsense that he was going to head home if there were no plans so I just kept to myself and didn’t care what happened. However, a few suggestions were made but in the end, no one agreed on what to do. I suggested heading to the City which Keith remarked he had no problem driving to.

I commented to Ralf that we could visit ‘Star City Casino’ but not actually enter the expensive ‘Cave’ nightclub but his pretentious and proud attitude had him scoff at the idea of heading to the City, probably because his proposal was turned down a week ago. Binh had the option of going bowling in the air and I agreed to that after a little while but somehow our two groups didn’t come to terms. Keith suggested we headed to Molly’s after I turned down the chance to head to Chevy’s again and that’s where our two groups divided.

Binh being the sore loser and whinging person that he is decided to take Leroy and his other friend bowling turning his cheek. Leaving Keith, Ralf, Shawn and I around to twiddle our thumbs for a plan we quickly stuck to Molly’s as to make Ralf happy. I really didn’t want Ralf to come along and most of all, I didn’t want to head to another club knowing that I was going with both Ralf and Keith, the worst combination for a good time.

The Girl By The Beam

There was a girl at Greater Union that deserves mentioning because she was playing on my mind for the whole time we were standing around. She was blonde, just under my height and she had an incredible chiseled look to her endeared face. She looked as if she took care of herself and it was just something about how she applied her makeup as well as the chiseled chin and cheekbone look that attracted me so much.

Tapping Shawn with my elbow each time her luscious lips opened to show her perfect white teeth I gaped from my own mouth in awe. She wasn’t a perfection but there was a certain air about her, a certain elegance, a charisma and most importantly, a quiet girl just for me. She was standing with a friend of hers chatting near one of those beams holding up the ceiling, whatever.

She wasn’t facing my direction fully but I stood appreciative but casually reticent of her eye’s glare as her friend and her looked toward my direction once or twice. It was as if they were standing there because they acknowledged me and I stood where I was so I could glance at her beauty incessantly. I was trying to build up my confidence in something to say if I had the nerve to approach them but because I was caught up in the nerves of the moment I never had that chance.

She looked to be around my age or maybe 19 years old and she was dressed casually but an alluring smart and sexy look. Her jacket was that material that I want to get, like the raincoat material but only in black, black people wear it effectively. Anyway, some guy and girl walked down the stairs hand in hand and the two girls walked up to them.

I knew then that the girls were waiting for their friends to arrive but I was comforted by the fact that she didn’t appear to have a boyfriend. As I watched her elegantly walk away and glide down the stairs I remember her last gleaming embrace of a smile, and then she was gone. I kicked myself again for not having tried my hand of confidence to talk with her but I’m not half the man my glory days permitted.

Paths Not Taken

The days when I walked up to a bunch of girls in Macarthur Square, asked “Is anyone sitting here” and sat on the chair the opposite way around to spark confident conversation. Once I sat down I never looked back or looked uncomfortable and this is the attitude that gained me my very first possible love, Jewell. If only those loins were evident to snatch up the beautiful blonde, I would have been joyous and proud of having called my new companion tonight.

The turnaround of our Saturday night is where I will leave it tonight. Still unfinished chronology but I only have Saturday night and my Sunday to talk of. Let me just hope that I get paid tomorrow by Centrelink as I am riding on that money to come along but I am fairly confident that the money will come through. Tomorrow is also the anniversary of my having first kissed Lyssa two years ago which led us to finally go out with each other.

I’m certain that Lyssa will remember it as I have these past few days but like myself, she probably won’t feel the desire to pick up the phone and chat on Monday. Lyssa has more important things to think about, mainly Ralf and her future involvement with him. Let these adventurous hands now glide off these binary parchments and slip into a lesser exigent of these fingers. Let me sleep and wish the thoughts I might wish upon myself and let praise these hands of long deceased will breed poetry from their pores ere long…

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Tony stays home to write his diary and recounts Saturday…