If ever there was going to be a surprise call for Lyssa it would have been last night, the 21st which would have been a day of our anniversary. It was this time last month that I finally told Lyssa that I had been cheating on her with Jewell and two nights before that would have been when I actually told Jewell to stay out of my life. She’s done a good job so far that Jewell of staying out of my life. For Jewell being out of my life I don’t say Good Riddens nor am I sad she’s no longer in my life. Mine is not to enjoy the end of confusion and mine is not to stay confused, rather I lived my life with Jewell’s part in it, now I chose to live without her.
Our conversation leads to chronology as I so much stress for its importance. If there was no chronology, chaos would ensue like it has been for the past couple of days. So for that, here it is time to recite the ending of Tuesday night with Lyssa and I believe we shall begin at her house, looking through her photo album. The photo’s ranged from prepubescent to adolescent years. Lyssa showed me a picture of when she thought she looked horrible but I didn’t think that. Rather, when Lyssa showed me a school portrait of when she was about 8 years old I was shocked by that. Finishing with the photo album I made my way to the lounge room.
Walking herself around the house we both helped each other put on some food to eat and as I sat once again in the lounge Lyssa told me that she was giving Penelope a call but only for a minute. That turned into just over half an hour and it started to piss me off as there was a boring television show and I wasn’t receiving any hospitality. Lyssa was basically talking about shit all to Penelope not even acknowledging to her that I was over her house because Penelope might disagree to Lyssa’s decision. The fact that Lyssa stayed on the phone and I had to basically tell her to get off after such a long time was anger enough from me.
While Lyssa was on the phone and I was bored I walked into her room with an urge but didn’t find anything but a big bunch of pictures I had seen before. Some of them were from when Nikita hired the cabin and then there were the pictures of her being at her 19th Birthday party at Penrith Panthers. Flicking through I noticed a couple of revealing photo’s of Lyssa who had a short black skirt on with small splits, her blue button up top and a black blouse underneath. There was one picture that really made me angry, so angry that I considered ripping the photo up. Lyssa would never notice if I did as she was on the phone but I didn’t rip the photo, yet. Why I hate the photo so much, Ali and Lyssa are posing in it together if that isn’t enough. Lyssa is up against a wall on her back with one of her hands traveling up above her head. Looking seductive she is sticking one of her legs out and the split shows more of that leg. Then there is Ali with his usual “I’m a sick cunt” look and standing with a cigarette in his mouth and a casual look his hand is also up on the wall and from what I can see they’re hands are touching. Penelope made them pose and the hand touching thing was probably accidental but I know what it’s like to be touching someone you like, you are aware of it. I know Ali would have been standing there thinking in his head “I’m touching Lyssa’s hand” and by the look on his face I might be right. Lyssa looks embarrassed to be there as she usually shows her teeth in her smile but it’s closed up and sort of fake.
This picture of Ali and Lyssa really pissed me off. Thinking that Lyssa was being sarcastic about Penelope being her best friend and also that Lyssa wanted to be her bi-sexual friend I became angered more just thinking of Lyssa being involved with Ali or Penelope and took the picture. Folding it in half I placed it in my pocket and there it stayed until I arrived home. This picture so much infuriated me that when I sat back down on the lounge and Lyssa was still on the phone I would take it out and look at it and hold animosity. When Lyssa was off the phone she came into the lounge room and sitting on her own seat I walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. Taking out the photo I had myself another look but then Lyssa called for me and in a panic I put the picture back in my pocket. Some noise was made and as Lyssa walked into the bathroom she suspected me being strange and questioned me as to why the door had to be closed as I was splashing water on my face. Asking for a toothbrush I quickly covered my tracks as I told Lyssa that my wisdom tooth hurt and it really did that day.
To recall, one of the photos that we looked at from Lyssa’s year 10 formal had a picture of a Lesbian girl that used to go to Lyssa’s school. From what I heard, this girl got onto Rhiannon and pretty much looked like Rhiannon in her day. Lyssa also told me a juicy secret, Nikita got onto this girl about a year ago while Lyssa and I were still going out. For the rest of my stay at Lyssa’s house we sat on the back veranda as Lyssa had herself a smoke but she noticed that something was wrong with me. On top of the fact that Lyssa was on the phone for under an hour and then I noticed this picture, I had a reason to be angry. Lyssa and I visited her room and we lay on the bed mucking around with each other. Lyssa started to kiss me on the neck like she never really had before in our existence of going out. I’d like to know where Lyssa picked this up and if any guy asked her to kiss him in this manner. Trying to give me a hickey I started to squirm because it was ticklish and none was branded with a hickey.
Falling asleep on Lyssa’s bed she also lay there with me for a couple of minutes but then she jumped up to use the phone. Lyssa once again told me she would only be a second but I didn’t hear her because she was in the hall when she said it and softly spoken she was. This time it wasn’t as bad, Lyssa was only five minutes, not much more but I was going to walk home if Lyssa was too long, I was getting pissed off. Lyssa came back into the bedroom and at one stage I thought Lyssa was going to do something for me since I hadn’t cum at my house when we were being sexual.
That was quashed as Lyssa stopped her teasing and then her mum came home so the dream was all over. Most of the times I wish Lyssa just had some spontaneity in her but that rarely happens from Lyssa. Maybe with her next boyfriend (If he is really hot) Lyssa will emphasize her spontaneity, I really hope she does.
With Lyssa’s mum now home we walked to the kitchen and from there we headed out onto the veranda again where Lyssa had a smoke. Before Lyssa’s mum came home I was hoping that I could leave before she came. Lyssa’s mum and brother leave me in a wake of intimidation and I’m not myself when they are around. For that reason along with the fact that I shouldn’t be at Lyssa’s house with her alone were the reasons I wanted to leave before anyone could know where I was. Lyssa asked on the veranda if I would like to go with her and Kieran to Lonestar for the night and I said it would be a good idea. Lyssa tried to call Kieran but his line was busy and as Kuper was coming over the hill it was time for me to go home.
The night was becoming evident as blackness surrounded the sky and at the front door it was time to say goodbye to Lyssa, how I didn’t really know. The whole day it was hugs and kisses and unimaginable affection and respect towards each other. Then there was the reality that if I left her house we would once again be friends so what to do, kiss her on the cheek or the lips. Well, I aimed for the cheek but on the last second veered to her lips and gave her a little peck. “Give me a better one than that” Lyssa asked and with her mum and brother tucked deep into the house away from our vision I gave Lyssa another kiss, on the lips and then another. Holding her by the back of the neck and drawing her towards my lips, that was the fashion in which we embraced and we were all the better for it as I looked into Lyssa’s eyes one more time before saying goodbye. Like old times I asked Lyssa to the back veranda where we waved to each other a couple of times as I faded into the distance.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
