Staying Home Instead
Monday 11:04 p.m.
Oh man, how I have made a mess of explanation for this long weekend. The time is now way past my bedtime and yet I feel the obligation over my tired eyes to see things through, at least for Saturday. Therefore, I set this next half an hour right up until midnight to adjoin some more chronology to these missing chapters breathing stressful sighs for the knowledge that there is more events to write of that happened tonight. I must then with quick action, explain the rest of Saturday night in the next available hour of paragraphs.
Up to the part where Ralf had left my house, I believe Jett and Min-Su stayed over for an extra half an hour before leaving. Ralf gave me an hour to get ready before we had to leave for our night but we were still uncertain as to who the fourth person would be apart from the both of us and Shawn. Ralf ended up calling just before he came over to ask if I had thought of anyone yet to go out with. To my mind there was still no knowledge of who to invite out but Ralf didn’t comprehend.
Ralf didn’t like Shawn and that’s why he didn’t want to go out in threes, because he thought only two people would talk. I didn’t want to travel all the way to the City with just two people like he was hinting as past catastrophes have been experienced with the same man. Therefore, after some contemplation we decided that it would be best if we just gave the whole night a miss, our Saturday night to spend home. Deciding to let Ralf give Shawn a call with the information that we were staying home, I relaxed for the rest of the night typing in the computer and just chilling out.
Love Songs For Two
Just a quick mention about having Jett over. The best part of their stay at my house was when I showed them my TLC Album and had them lying down in deep trance to one of the love songs I played. I told the both of them that I would pick two songs that they would both send to each other and as I began to play them they both were lying flat on my waterbed, looking starry-eyed at each other with love on their minds.
There I lay on the ground as they did, looking at the ceiling with a smile on my face, bringing two lovebirds closer together. It gave me satisfaction to see that my music created the mood of renewed love in their eyes, making me realize what love I had. Jett also noted that he would be coming over on Sunday with his Playstation but I’ll just note that it never came to be. Jett was also supposed to bring over ‘Aaron Neville’ and his song ‘Crazy Love’ but he couldn’t arrive on Sunday, the same being said today.
How I Remember Everything
I just had a thought to myself regarding this diary and the length of time it takes me to write some days as well as the depth of dramatizing entailed. I am flattered by my ability to remember such detailed happenings and in most expanse of a couple of days. It also surprises me how I could remember vividly something that happened a year ago and write a far better description of it today than I did on the actual diary day.
How much people can sit down and write with great detail what they had done in the last couple of days and keep their mind free of stress when they know they have to back it up again the next day, and then the next, and the next. I guess I’ve trained myself to remember more subconsciously as I don’t think to myself, “I’ll have to remember this and this when I get back home.” I’m just ordinary me giving away nothing. This mind has capability in these, my days of prime.
However, I fear that I will be classed as too old when my mind degrades itself and I can no longer remember vital points of what I did in a day, so pray that it never happens.
Haircut Hunting With Keith
When Sunday arrived I had myself waking up at 10:00 a.m. to begin my first quest on the computer while awaiting Jett to come over. However, as the hours passed I wasn’t sure that he would keep his word and therefore, I gave Keith a call to see what he was doing. Keith advised me that he knew Ralf went up to see his brother and he also thought that Jett was invited up with him. Trusting his judgment but not sure if it was true I asked if he could help me out in the day to get my haircut.
Having an hour or two before his fun cricket game actually began, he drove over my house and picked me up. The wind again was blowing at turbulent speeds as I jumped in the car clad with a jumper. We made our way towards Shawn’s house, the reason for this being because of my need to return his clothes and claim mine. He came along with us though as we headed to the Mall, making quick entry after parking up the top near the side entrance.
This is where I’m going to sadly have to leave it as I don’t want to carve up too much on my day’s events. Therefore, I’ll leave the rest of Sunday for tomorrow’s entry after work and pray that those two to three hours will be enough.
A Song About Jewell
Tomorrow I’ll have to get some sleep on the train as I won’t get myself enough tonight but before I go, let me just note that my heart has fallen for a song on the TLC album that sings true with some of the lyrics regarding my lost relationship with Jewell.
The song is called ‘I Miss You’ which is the eighth track on the album and as I have space to spare here, I might as well include the lyrics.
The Lyrics
I MISS YOU SO MUCH
I never asked for this feeling, I never thought I was wrong,
I never knew how I felt till the day you would call, I was lost.
I never asked for red roses, I wasn’t looking for love
Somehow I let my emotions take hold and guess what, all at once, I’m in love.
Oh I miss you so much, I long for your love,
It scares me, cause my heart gets so weak, that I can’t even breathe,
How can you take things so easily, babe why aren’t you missing me.
Why did I act like you left her, it was silly of me to believe,
That if I just opened my heart things would come naturally, jokes on me.
I didn’t ask for love letters, so why did you give them to me,
How could I let your intentions get over on me, so in love, so naïve.
Oh I miss you so much, I long for your love,
It scares me, cause my heart gets so weak, that I can’t even breathe,
How can you take things so easily, babe why aren’t you missing me.
And oh, how I hate what you have done, made me fall so deep in love,
God knows you’re the only one I want, you’re the guy.
Oh I miss you so much, I long for your love,
It scares me, cause my heart gets so weak, that I can’t even breathe,
How can you take things so easily, babe why aren’t you missing me.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
