Naming the Five Eras of My Life (Part 1)

A Month of Dispersing Waves

Dispersed has been a new wave this month, persevering with lesser diminishing as it hit the wall of a new month. That is my view and metaphorical verse for the time between the collapse of the lost years which off the top of my head was September 16th 1998 to the period of April 26th not too long ago, where this metaphorical depiction declined into a collapse. April 26th, where I found what contrite actions could bring back the fortune from a pool of misfortune.

It was on this day last month that I finally came to a conclusion that the period between the lost years and that current day had come to an end and it was time for a new era, a pacified pond of misfortune. Therefore, misfortune would have no just actions within its own pond as the subdued water would disperse no longer and treat only to fortunate praise. The period from April 26th until the beginning of my new career with HIH (Which was May 24th) has been an intermission period.

Rather, this past month has been a point where the waves of misfortune were subsiding and pacified decisions and actions were becoming evident. Therefore, as each month lately has had a defining ten syllable title (Or more syllables as in this case) I shall entail the new title for this month as only these last days could have unfolded it so. Also, I shall firstly depict again the five different eras of my time.

Adolescence and the Lost Years

To firstly begin, in a whole, the time from the beginning of this Diary in March of 1996 until the beginning of the lost years on February 1st 1997 (or if you want to include the debacle with Phoenix, from January 1st) has been one era. That was the adolescent era, before I knew what love was and was curious to know of it in which was the case that I created the lost years.

This second era, a time of love and also a time of rushing headlong into a new emotion I so badly yearned for, love. It was in the lost years as so many times noted before that I changed from adolescence and infantile to the big world of understanding life. All of a sudden, I had love and all this energy in which I had so much to live for.

I had a life other than adolescent friendship in which I had great times and they sustained many memories but these matured memories are much more rewarding to building stepping stones for my life. When the collapse of the lost years arrived with the cheating phone calls, breaking up with Lyssa and then the mixed emotions between Lyssa and Jewell that kept changing suit in my mind, the downfall of that era began.

The final straw of the lost years in which I cared not to remember all the drudgery of emotional stress and heartfelt misery came on September 16th when Jewell and I finally called it quits.

After the Lost Years

The ending of the lost years era, which brought the best memories thus far of relationships and then spoiled those memories brought along a new age. Far from the epochs of great friendship in the first era where we used to go out in hordes to the Meat Mart with the Goon Girls, to the City or to Kentlyn for a warm fire or far from the days of loving relationships where I traded the charisma of friendship for the perfection of emotion.

This new third era was the beginning of my poetical life as well as the hopeful building of a new life. This was the era where fortune would get confused with misfortune and the road to recovery would be a bumpy one. This is the era where I was alone without real friends or companionship and it seemed that with each day I would lose more confidence in recovering my self-esteem rather than gaining in it. This period from September 16th to April 26th was the rejuvenation of my livelihood, in which it would grant me the state that I hold now.

In these days there was so much talk of misfortune and what was misfortunate as opposed to fortunate. In these days I talked about the pond of misfortune and how it seemed that misfortune would travel like a wave; where it would disperse with wider broadening and upon hitting an embankment it would diminish somewhat to a lesser wave of misfortune until the wave of misfortune had finally dispersed itself to deliver a pacified and fortunate calm.

Each month’s passing seemed to be signified by the wave of misfortune hitting a bank, turning around only to spread misfortune all over again but in a lesser diminishing. This era after the lost years I shall call undesired posterity to the lost years for the era from September 16th to April 26th. Moreso, if an overlap of the title the lost years bears too much weight on these days of the third era, let me embrace the title of the lost years posterity. This could of course be the title for the fourth era as none is yet given.

Fourth and Fifth Eras

The fourth era was the days between April 26th and May 24th, where the water of misfortune did play its most havoc but did grant me the most foresight of hope. In this period I did start many anew and I did create a routine to success and out of the redemption in the third era, which did disdain all confidence I had. This fourth era holds no sufficient title but I feel that there is a name within the words of this era that could create such a title.

If not, the last foregoing title handed to last Month’s depiction would suffice. Now, this is the fifth era we are now upon. The era where work has finally come to me and I am far from friendship, relationship and forlornness. These new days bring new advancements in earnings and let me note that in these past couple of days I have received great confidence in myself. I now am speaking to people at work and the bug of quitting as well as lacking of interpersonal skills is being thrown out the window.

I’m no longer alone anymore and no longer in a relationship or with friends but count my work companions as a different era of association. Therefore, I give this new era from March 24th and possibly the title for April a new name and a depiction of itself. This fifth era shall be known as misfortune’s ebb and flow hath to pacified resolve. Basically, it collects audience from the last two eras of my time (you could group the era three and four together to create one if wanted) and holds a piece of the misfortune in the third era’s title.

Basically, it notes that misfortune has finally stopped its wave of destruction, finally bringing profit in fortune to my life and months of living. So there you have it, a complete chronicle and update on what titles my life has enjoyed, what eras and what depictions of such. These words shall become useful in future eras to come, when finally I compile my life’s stepping stones and adventures.

Why I Am Staying

Finally, I am away from that stale bread conjuncture in which for so long I have tried to create a title for this month. Technically it hasn’t been done already but I’m sure in these pages there is a title. Nevertheless, let me now talk about my day and then get myself to sleep for another fulfilling day at work. Today was really the turnaround point from wanting to quit and deciding it would be more than worthwhile and benefiting to stay.

As noted, the first day was a good one right up until the end. The second day started well but became a shocker and those thoughts of holding onto this job for a very long time were starting to waver to “When am I going to quit”. The third day was the equilibrium of which turn I was preparing to take as the briefs became easier but the thought of quitting was still plaguing my mind, however, not so greatly as the second day.

Today couldn’t have been any better. There were no flaws in my whole day, the mail was delivered efficiently and to the praise of the staff by 10:30 a.m. despite my amateur status. Today made me realize that working was for me and again, I know I am going to stay with this company for a very long time. I managed to finally stray from the fourth era into the fifth era and I believe that if I had quit worst would have come to worst.

I would have lost my benefits again, no money, no confidence, no friends and back to the huge misfortune of the day but with a larger kick in the backside. Now I knew what it was like to finally have money and be on top and to lose it all because I made a mistake would have been too much to bear.