Keith Breaks a Plastic Chair (Part 7) – Mad Chaos: March 8, 1999

Car Stereos Under the Sensor Light

With the crowd diminishing and the time being midnight what was left of us headed out to the front under the sensor light. Gathering some chairs the group of us sat around chatting about school and the good old days, well they were to everyone that was chatting about them, not me. Tamsen had changed her clothes by now as had Min-Su who both sat outside with the all of who we were.

Forgetting to mention a certain aspect of the night, Binh, Keith and Ralf all decided to show off their car systems to the two guys who were with Linnea. Firstly it was Binh and then a modest Keith decided to copy and finally it was a following Ralf that reminded me of the sheep he is so deemed to be. Getting back to the original part of our conclusive night, Ralf, Jett and Noah decided to leave. Noah was the only one in that car that was pissed as a fart and with his bold head and almost no eyebrows, the funny tot looked the part of his pissed and bald appearance.

Deciding not to head off with Ralf I wanted to stick around and make it a night, not head home early and feeling somewhat empty of another night. Noah ended up getting dropped off home but Jett and Ralf headed to the kebab shop on Queen street for part of the rest of their night. In this time Ralf told Jett about his moving to Queensland and now, he has entrusted two people with his story. And to think he was going to try and keep it under wraps.

Who Likes Who

Back to the story of sitting around and chatting, this is where most of the memorable, concerning and content happenings were held. Through the night I could sense people liking and disliking each other. Callum didn’t like Keith going out with Tamsen at all, he saw Keith as a nothing that wouldn’t go away. Callum thought that Tamsen was only staying with his lard ass because she couldn’t get any better and considering she doesn’t have any friends (Only Keith’s friends and her work mates) she probably considers Keith as a safety measure so she won’t be so lonely.

Apart from me having a thing for Tamsen in her well dressed appearance and my wonder of what she would be like in bed (I can’t do much worse than Keith) I noticed others being allured by lust. Ned was hanging around Min-Su and Tyler was trying his hand on Tamsen by always sitting next to her and chatting her up when Keith was away.

What surprised me later in the night was how Min-Su asked Tyler for a massage in such a way that I thought she was interested in him and she probably was. Taking the film out of my camera ages beforehand I raised it to her unwary eye that was enjoying her massage and took a photo. Instantly she looked at me and put her hand over her gaping mouth as if to say “What have you done, if Jett sees that I’ll be in big trouble” but I was soon to tell her that there was no film. If Min-Su was ever trying her hand at someone else and being foolish enough to do it in front of me I’ll never know.

Keith Falls Like Jelly

After all the back rubbing which I admit I let Callum do as I was trying to be friendly to the lad (Where I controlled how far he went) we began into the hilarious parts of the night. With everyone being pretty drunk now and Shawn drinking almost a whole bottle of Whiskey (I think that’s what it was) I was seeing some humorous shows.

Keith was being his lonesome self away from the group by a meter or two and walking over to him while eating my watermelon and cheesecake I asked him to sit closer. Before I knew it his plastic chair had snapped where one on the hand rests were and the portion that hold the leg to the seat bottom.

Without hesitation he rolled off the chair and into a forward tumble to the ground but to Keith, it just appeared like jelly moving from one side of the plate to another. It happened all so fluidly and once he fell instead of helping him up I jumped around in hysterical laughter and was more jovial seeing everyone else having a good old laugh. Keith had broken the chair with just his weight and although he swore that it was already partially broken by someone else I had my doubts.

Deciding to Stay

Because of Keith’s little accident I feel that is why he left ten minutes later in the night. The time was 2:30 a.m. and Keith was leaving because he wanted an early sleep because he was headed to the Football game on Sunday with the Souths. Keith was my only lift home and despite everyone bidding me to stay I didn’t want to sleep at Tamsen’s house.

Rather, I wanted to sleep there to see what kind of adulterated mischief I could have gotten up to but no one else knew my plans. Whilst sitting in Keith’s car and waiting for it to warm up I finally decided that I would stay behind and sleep at Tamsen’s house for the night. Jumping out of the car I had waved Keith goodbye and hello to all the hopeful faces that cheered my stay on.

Tyler Gets Slapped

Conversation once the last of the leaving cars had left (That being Keith) Tamsen and Callum denoted their thoughts on getting to sleep. Tyler, Ned, Shawn, Tatton, Min-Su, Tamsen and Callum were the only ones left outside including me. Being so drunk and such a small body for that alcohol Tyler started acting the fool and throwing little bits of the ground at Ned.

“Come sit over here right next to me” Ned said in his menacing but playful tone and as Tyler was cautious to sit next to him he kept his distance. Seconds later Tyler started throwing shit at Ned again and getting up to say some sarcastic words to Tyler and then out of the blue he slapped Tyler upside the head. Not as hilarious as Keith falling off the seat, it was fairly close and with that slap he headed back into the party room to get some food. Tyler was stunned there for a couple of second with a puzzled smile on his face, he didn’t know what was going on.

Slap Wars and a Mattress

Tamsen and Min-Su ended up getting to bed minutes after Keith left and as their night was over Ned also made his way to sleep. Binh had already gotten to sleep inside the house and I’m not sure where Ned slept but I’m hoping it wasn’t with Min-Su. Like I noted, he had something going for Min-Su and when he walked into the house he could have either slept in Binh’s bed or Min-Su’s bed, maybe even with Tamsen but I doubt it.

Maybe I’m just overreacting but since Shawn and Tatton could see it, maybe I wasn’t. With Ned out of the way for Tyler to harass he had to find another target and that was Shawn. Both of them being as pissed as each other Shawn could hold his alcohol more and when he was surprised by a sneaky slap to the back of his head he started to get peeved.

Turning around he didn’t see Tyler but I noticed him run back into the house. Tyler had a mattress set up on the ground for him to sleep on and as you will later find out, it fit Shawn, Tatton and myself on it. Tyler kept coming out, slapping Shawn across the back of the head and then getting back to sleep but after the third time Shawn said “If he does that again I’m going to kill him”. Well, when he came back he didn’t live up to his word but rather we cornered him and then trying to spill beer on him, it didn’t work.

Chasing Tyler Around the Yard

Trailing Tyler around the yard with the only bystander being Callum, Tatton ran after him down the walkway to the house and upon trying to kick him in the ass his drunk ass slipped over and hit the pavement. “Ah, that hurt” he kept calling out and as the two piss-heads laughed I thought to check if he was alright first and then start laughing. Tatton hurt his hip on the way down but he was alright once he got up, just a little bruised in the ego but he’s always falling down.

Tyler soon got to sleep after we chased him and with only me, Shawn, Tatton and Callum awake the three of us wanted to stay awake until the early morning but Callum had other plans. The parents and everyone else was asleep and the party was officially over so he was persistent to get to sleep. At that he didn’t want to leave the three of us without sleep on our minds as he probably thought that we would run a muck or make lots of noise which I predicted.

Thus, in the time that we hang around outside he hung around giving us massages and picking on Tatton with extra attention. It was obvious that he wasn’t going to get to sleep and let us be but we kept on. Earlier in the night Callum told me that if Tyler were to get drunk enough and have one more beer he was going to have his way with him and at one stage he said “Oh, you can sleep in my room”. These kind of fears made me think twice about getting to sleep, well not really, it was my nocturnal nature.