A Vicious Circle
Staying friends with an ex girlfriend and undergoing more than friendship in that relationship is a vicious circle that is hard to get out of. Even if I had the will to stop seeing Lyssa I will have the sexual part of me wishing that I was still with her so we could do those things. Then I like being around her because we get along so well but that getting along so well usually leads her to allowing me more and vice versa.
Wanting More Than Lyssa
Like I said, it’s a vicious circle and I know I shouldn’t be having a casual relationship with Lyssa but that’s exactly what we’re doing. Because of the severity of this attached relationship Lyssa doesn’t want another man in her life and although she tells me she just doesn’t want to go through all that shit at the start again, I know that she is only holding out like me because we are in this vicious circle.
Truthfully, I know I want more than Lyssa and I know I will never have Lyssa because there are things she doesn’t do for me (mentally and physically) that many other women can. Yet, for the both of us, the meat is there for us to grab so we feast upon it whenever we can simply because we can.
A Birthday Party Invitation
Lyssa informed me that she was going to a 21st birthday party on Saturday night for her work friend called Marley and she’s getting set up with a football player. As wealthy and attractive as this offer would sound to a normal woman Lyssa hissed at the idea uttering something along the lines of football players being repugnant creatures. They have a hotel room set up and there will only be ten girls there and threefold of guys but Lyssa isn’t sleeping there.
Advising me that there were going to be guys there that Marley adored and Lyssa also would have she tried telling me that she doesn’t want anyone at the moment. So, I gather that when Lyssa gets there she’s just going to act like she’s going out with me despite how attractive a guy is. It just isn’t right for her to hold onto a past memory and for the both of us to cling onto each other. Our time is up but you don’t hear either one of us complaining hard enough.
Raffle Tickets and Gossip
Our conversation ended as I informed Lyssa that Keith was coming back over my house around 7:30 p.m. The time had been creeping up on us in the conversation and before Lyssa called me I took the time to call Keith and arrange for him and Shawn to come over with the Playstation.
Oh yeah, and before that we headed to Auto-Barn up near where Tamsen works and in there Keith had to buy some car seat covers. While in there they were having a 20% off sale and at the door they were giving away raffle tickets. The biggest prize to win was a $300 CD Player Deck for your car and you had to be there at 9:00 p.m. for the tickets to be drawn.
Now that I’ve noted that let me just note some more of the conversation and then onto the next part. Lyssa informed me how Kieran is now really eager to play Nintendo with Lyssa. He’s crazed over it. He’s trying to set up a night where she can head over to his house and play games. Also, Kuper has also taken a shine to the contraption asking Lyssa if she had Mario Kart, she’s going to buy that also.
Keith Leaves With My Ticket
Jumping off the phone as Keith and Shawn arrived they entered my house and after Keith had a game for half an hour with Shawn he had to leave to pick up Tamsen from work and to head over to the Auto-Barn to try and see if he won a prize. Giving him my ticket I didn’t really expect him to come back with my prize if I had won anything as he’d be greedy, keep it for himself and just tell me like he did that he didn’t win anything.
The Greatest Game Ever Played
While Keith was gone Shawn and I had a game that he calls the greatest ever. This would be because there was no scoring in the first quarter due to my long drives and the both of us not being able to get more than two first downs before a turnover. This soon turned around near the end of the second quarter with me scoring a touchdown. Within the dying seconds before half time Shawn either gave me an interception or he handed the ball over in a fourth down situation gone wrong. Thus I converted and was in front.
Now, in the second half of the game I scored another touchdown and up by three I started to slacken off because I thought I had the game won. Creeping up by a touchdown I still remained calm with a three point Field Goal also to my tally. Nearing the last two minutes Shawn scored on me and going for the two point conversions he was catching up.
I’m not sure what happened next but he scored again because I was out of form and now with seconds left in the game, him thinking he’s lost, me being in front by 5 points and the clock ticking down, I thought the game was over. Putting down my guard I knew I could have just done some running plays and ticked the time down but I done some passes and in a stupid move I gave him the turnover in the last 10 seconds thinking he wouldn’t convert.
A Heartbreaking Last Play
His first pass was thrown down by me and with 2 seconds left and the length of the field to run it was his last chance. Going for the long run I went for the safety coverage and as he passed to his favorite receiver I had one man in front and two directly behind. He should have been tackled straight away but pressing the button didn’t work. Thus I chased after him and with three men chasing and pressing the tackle button once he evaded that character.
With two men now chasing after him and right on his ass I had plenty of opportunity to tackle him but because of nerves I took a little too long and he scored a touchdown with my mistimed jump. Shawn was jumping all over my room rubbing it in my face, he won again and right when Keith came back to my house too.
Prizes and a Rage Quit
Letting Keith into my house he informed me that they didn’t win the big prize and my ticket didn’t get called but he won a couple of little things like a rear vision mirror holder and lame shit like that. When Keith arrived I gave him a game and because I kicked his ass in a huge upset he quit it in the last quarter and it was time to head out.
Cards at Subway
Nearing 10:30 p.m. we headed out to Subway as it was raining pretty heavy and taking the cards with us we were set to play a game of ‘Asshole’. This game has grown so accustomed to us that we can’t even remember how to play ‘Thirteen’ anymore.
Keith and Shawn bought themselves something to eat each, as the scrawny guy was there that always tells us in his pussy-wick way that we have to leave as the store is closing. His girlfriend that has more balls than him was also there. She sometimes helps him behind the counter but this time she looked like she was doing the books. It turns out she was helping him study for his driving license test or was it for her.
Our game of cards lasted until 1:30 a.m. when they were closing but starting with four straight wins I ended up being the highest with 9, 7, 7. Apart from the dopey guy behind the counter forgetting my order of chips and for me having to wait an hour to eat… the rest of the night was alright.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
