Ralf and the Elevator That Hated Him (Part 2) – Mad Chaos: January 27, 1999

Ralf Versus the Spider

Arriving at Miranda the time was nearing 2:30 p.m. but that didn’t deter us from having a good time while it was still open for another two hours. Parking our car under cover we jumped out of the car and as Keith did first he shouted out “Ralf, there’s a huge spider climbing down your window.” I thought he was bullshitting but from inside the car I noticed the spider crawling onto his window.

I’ve never before seen Ralf wind up his window as fast as I did on Monday terrified of the giant spider crawling through the window and onto his lap. Still in the car myself I watched the huge spider that would easily stretch his legs across my whole palm scurry up the window and finally onto the roof. Ralf is shit scared of spiders and has what is called arachnophobia.

Opening up his door to step out I once again hadn’t seen Ralf be so swift before, it was hilarious. What was more funny was that Ralf pulled in too close to a parked car in the opposing spot. Ralf went in nose first and as the other car that was parked was also in nose first and with Ralf’s bad directional sense he slightly touched the car. Upon stepping out we noticed the license plate was bent out a touch, that’s Ralf for you.

Cargo Pants and Food Court

Stepping into Miranda shopping center there was an onslaught of good looking women of all sizes and shapes. The funny thing I noticed is that a high percentage of girls in Miranda were wearing Cargo pants with a simple tight shirt on top. This is an attractive look I must admit and there were many attractive people wearing them. Deciding to make our way to the food court Ralf wanted to get himself something to eat so as he ordered with Keith I made my way to the toilets.

Getting myself a little lost while walking through the games arcade I finally found the corridor and earned my relief. Upon coming back I noticed that Ralf had sat at a table where he could see a sexy girl two or so meters away from us. As Ralf and Keith had themselves something to eat we had ourselves a long chat and a long perve at all that walked past.

To name a few, there was the girl working behind one of the food tending counters, there was a blonde girl who was Jewell size sitting with her mother and some surfie boyfriend with blonde dreaded hair. There was also another girl of that size but even with her body size she had at least a handful upon her and she was fairly small too, she was probably only 14 or looked it anyway.

Shopping on a Wish List

After half an hour of just sitting down and chatting we jumped up and made our way around Miranda some more. Shop after shop we walked past visiting a selective few. One of those shops was Sydney Hi Fi where we were taken by one of the employees into a special room that looked like a lounge room. While there he showed us a mad 12 inch subwoofer in a box for a house system.

After pumping that for a while and probably in there to just get away from a hectic day rather than selling us his sales pitch we started chatting. He turned out to be Lebanese and so Ralf started telling him swear words that he knew. They chatted a little more but as Keith stepped out after a couple of minutes it was soon time for Ralf and I to head off.

Before I left I inquired about a CD stacker as I have now run out of space. He showed me a 110 CD player that is no bigger than the 50 CD stacker that I have now. My plans are to buy the new CD player and use it in conjunction with my CD player now, probably mixing songs together. Imagine that, being able to play from a range of 161 CDs, astronomical. The CD player was priced at $800 but he told me he could get it for me cheap, probably around $600.

Moving down to other stores I came across a classy clothing store and a pair of shoes caught my eye. They were exactly the type of shine and fiber I wanted and I loved how they had two belt like straps to tie up instead of shoe laces. These shoes are made of a leather type material and I could wear it anywhere. It would look great at work, great with my nightclub clothes and great just with go out clothes to the movies. The price of them were $160 but they are well worth the money for the fashionable style they are.

Visiting a music store next we spent a couple of minutes in there as I checked out the new Jennifer Love Hewitt song. I had no idea that Jennifer had completed three different albums while being an actor as well. Jennifer Love Hewitt became a household name to me after I had seen that movie of her that I can’t recall at the moment. Since then I was all goggle eyed over her, wanting to watch party of five, collecting her pictures and adoring her musical talents, she’s a babe.

The Haunted Lift

From the music store it was pretty much back to the car but what happened on the elevator deserves a mention. There was a full crowd jumping on the elevator where the three of us were up front. No one had pressed their buttons and it was left to Ralf who announced what floor he was going to after he pressed the button. We wanted to head up but the elevator seemed to go down a floor.

“I didn’t press that button” Ralf said as he kept trying to close the doors by pressing the buttons. I let out a laugh trying to imagine what everyone else was thinking of him at the time. What was more hilarious was the fact that we kept going down and picking up more and more people as we let them out. Each floor we would stop at Ralf would make some comment and on most occasions you could almost hear his brain ticking over.

When the elevator finally started climbing levels Ralf was pleased and showed it with his words, “Thank God, finally.” Ralf jumped out prematurely one level too soon and was ushered back on the elevator before it closed. The funny thing about this was that the level we jumped off at was the same level we jumped on at in the first place. Finally we made it to our level and when we did we jumped into Ralf’s car and off we were.