The look of death was expelled to Phoenix in a stare so passionately hating as she walked back her bruised ego but in goading steps of determination, she was tenacious to conceal any scent of intimidation. I saw in these strained moments my disbelief at the true colors of all. What space had distanced friendships across borders, as friends paused beneath their pedigree, and conglobated to the side of Phoenix. You could say they were prospectors erecting a trespass sign to their only shot at gold, and in their rush were they even prepared to climb over others who had been there first. I shunned my head at these desperados, who sheathed all sense of morality, and as Phoenix walked over to the protection of their car, a macabre smell swept over me. I felt the stain of their favoritism as a formidable stench, and it unsettled me gruesomely to watch two boys whipped. I made no such formality of the indignation felt however, as Phoenix immediately hid in Shawn’s car and the rest of us piled in with Simon for the frictional ride back home. I was in the backseat giving death-stares out my passenger window whenever we would close by Phoenix. Keith on the other hand took a more direct approach in his incensed criticisms of Simon. Keith accused him of being a dog and then Simon lashed back the same, as Ralf chimed into the argument by mentioning how Keith had earlier broken into his house. I couldn’t tell if Ralf was being factually bipartisan or if he wanted to get even with Keith in some way but Keith regardless took it all to heart. “Name one time I was a dog,” he kept badgering until Ralf spoke up, being the backbone Simon chose not to be. After a while of fraying nerves we in the back started singing songs like “why can’t we be friends” to dull out the mischief. At one stage Keith too dropped his guard to sing, and in ten minutes of seeing the brighter side, we lost our voices.
Meanwhile, as Phoenix was too intimidated to peer over as we passed, Keith became wistful again, as he involved us with his moping for feelings about Tamsen. He was close to making his mind up about needing time apart but he was anxious about the wording and how Tamsen would take his admission. Compassionately, Ralf reassured Keith with his guidance, which astounded me at how mostly what he said made sense. It sounded more like a movie than Ralf speaking but the sentiment certainly hit a spot, and Keith looked like the direction had lifted a load off of his shoulders.
While in the car we also talked about ex girlfriends and I was restricting myself to speak out but as we got onto our best ex girlfriends I had to bring out Lyssa’s name. Lyssa to me had the best body, the best legs, a comedic attitude that I loved, a great pair of breasts and what’s more, she loved me at one stage. Yes, Lyssa was my greatest love, my longest love and as we talked about our greatest I rated Lyssa a 9 because no one really deserves a 10. 9.5 is my highest score but who to give that to.
Shawn dropped off Phoenix at home and that’s about when we lost him but Simon was picking Shawn up from his house as soon as he was home so they could visit the Sydney Motor Show. All night their rivalry joined them at the hips. Heading to Queen Street around 3:30 a.m. we noticed the aftermath of what could have been a large brawl. Cops were scurried along the roads and there were a couple of cop cars and wagons on parade. When that was done we drove to Simon’s house where Keith had parked his car for the night and as Keith drove Ralf home I jumped in with Simon who dropped me off home. Simon then went to pick up Shawn and I’m not sure what I did but I think I slept almost instantly after getting home. If I were half an hour earlier I would have met up with Lyssa who knocked on my door or window just after 3:00 a.m. Timing is essential in fate and I kiss my lucky charm around my neck for the fate it has so forth given unto me.
My Saturday night was over and as Ralf and I were speaking in the car beforehand we made plans to visit Miranda and the beach on Sunday. As the time is now 4:17 a.m. in the morning I have to get myself some sleep before the morning comes. Today having been Monday I did wake up at 1:00 p.m. in the afternoon, let’s not let that happen again. So for Sunday afternoon and what exactly happened on that day at the beach I still have to explain. It can only happen a bit at a time, piece by piece but I promise that tomorrow will see the finish once again of a long awaited piece of literature. Let’s just hope I don’t fall back once again on my writing from tomorrow and let’s see if tomorrow will bring another day of recognition with friends, another day of reckoning.
Tuesday 9:36 a.m.
Once again an unseen event is about to occur that I gratify rather than prevent. Once more I will have to halt my literature of Sunday for the fact that I won’t get until this afternoon if I’m lucky to write about it. The reason, Lyssa has called me half an hour ago, she wants to come over my house and watch another movie. That is the reason I am writing so early, so I can explain what has happened before Lyssa comes over.
Cold with only a thin sheet to cover the top half of my body that wasn’t exposed to the warmth of the waterbed I threw on the large blanket to keep warm around 8:30 a.m. For some reason I woke up early this morning but not until 9:00 a.m. when I received a call did I truly wake up. Lyssa was on the other end and I figured that Lyssa wasn’t going to College for the day. Considerably upset Lyssa told me that her mum was really angry with her and asked her to move out of the house, start looking today for a flat. The reason for this is because Lyssa is ‘Messy’, what sort of a reason is that. Lyssa tried telling me that her mum was going to sabotage her makeup last night, whoa where does one start so cruel.
Mentioning that Lyssa really enjoyed Sunday night with me and was satisfied with the turn of events it made me happy even though I was half asleep on the other end of the phone. Lyssa then told me that she visited the City with Penelope as opposed to her visiting Burwood. The spin came to me when Lyssa told me she walked to Penelope’s house and then along with Ali they walked to the train station and caught a train to the City, Ali catching a train. Maybe he is a changed little boy after all because I keep hearing of all these differences in him but that doesn’t change my mind about him. Lyssa bought herself a black dress skirt that goes down to her knees and it’s being tailored right now from a size 8 so the part where her breasts are won’t be so loose and will become tighter. Lyssa and I are going to think about traveling to Star City together, Lyssa with her black new dress and me, with me.
Tuesday 7:45 p.m.
The whole of today has just been spent with Lyssa and although we have parted our ways for the night our confused love lingers on. Today was another special day of our lives even though it was spoilt by my greed to overcome my urges and Lyssa’s greed to overpower them. Regardless my day was good and although it is one lost day of so many, the thought of it’s existence shall linger on. Of Lyssa and I being once again together but in a transparent reality. Lyssa and I done all that couples do but with one remarkable difference, we aren’t a couple. Lyssa, like me was so moved by our fulfillment today that she gave me a call even before I came home. Lyssa didn’t even wait an hour as I walked out of her house, jumped onto the train and then walked all the way to my house.
Now as I have myself an hour to type in this here I Diary before I get picked up by Keith I ponder on what I should write of, today’s events or that of Sunday. The decision holds unanimous to write of today’s conundrum, such a tickler. If there is enough time left over I shall write about Sunday at the beach. I shit you not but with the shower I want to have, the food I have to eat and the phone call I want to make to Lyssa, I’m not sure if all that should be left until later tonight, we’ll just have to see.
Like I noted the day started at 9:00 a.m. when Lyssa gave me a call and as we talked she hinted that she wanted to come over. Her day at work wasn’t happening because she was having a fight with her mum and she didn’t receive a lift to the station. With this luck in her hand she called a Taxi to my house and hearing the Taxi out the front I turned off my computer just in time to answer the door. Lyssa was telling me about these baggy tracksuit type pants that she bought for the beach with a drawstring. The pants looked pretty funny on her, they made her look cute as well as delectable but Lyssa is always good enough to eat.
Into my house I invited Lyssa and as we both lay on my bed watching some morning television our touching and cuddling was almost instantaneous. It was like Sunday night had never ceased and there we were, once more holding Lyssa around the waist. The warm-hearted attitude towards Lyssa also never ceased and for the whole day there was nothing but love to go around for her, nothing but good words and attention. There we lay for a couple of minutes held contently in each other’s arms but we realized that a movie was in order. Being hungry myself we jumped up and preparing myself we made our walk towards the shops.
Our walk to the shops was enigmatic to what we were to each other, just friends but we were holding hands and walking aside of each other as if we were partners.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
