Opals and an Appraisal With Jana (Part 1)

Backlogged Again

Well, tonight was a good relaxing night but no matter how pleasant and unconstrained the night may seem, a lively night of depiction always seems to follow me around. I just can’t escape this hollow nest of chronology that with each outing and my optimism of constraining, such action is just as hollow as this deepening void. For some time now my chronology has been backlogged but tonight, the biggest effort is upon me.

There are more than seven pages of notes to get through for one whole week and after tonight’s new little experience, I’ll have much more to write about. It’s a good thing I jumped onto this computer before the stroke of midnight so I don’t have to speak of pretense to blur subjects. However, as tonight probably won’t be talked of for a couple of days due to my backlog, the time and nature of this entry won’t really matter that much.

With it almost being midnight, I want to pull that ever illustrious all-nighter but I know that I will stand no chance and at most, will hold to pass out two hours from now. However, as tomorrow I don’t have anything to do but head to the Gym and collecting my ticket from the station, I guess I can spend what time is left to try and complete as much of these pages as possible. Here’s to that task that I might hope gets churned up with my thoughts upon these hours…

Appraisal With Jana

Skipping now way back to last Friday, there is only one mention that wasn’t mentioned thoroughly. Of the appraisal I speak that was held with Jana inside Margot’s room, made empty by her being away for the day. The appraisal came late in the day and after I kept advising Jana that we were a few days late. Looking forward to having that second appraisal as I no longer had the problem of the itchy throat of anxiety whence in that one on one situation, intimidation was not a factor of my day. Besides, as Jana finally called me over around 3:00 p.m., I was fully rejuvenated into a state of playful antics due to my lunch.

Just like today, the whole of the morning was accustomed to being shy and demure, caring not to speak out. However, with lunch being great and hanging around friends, I came back with an enlightened mind and had fun. No more was I all bunched up but was more frantic with the antics whilst still maintaining a composure to the job at hand.

Getting to the story, when my prioritized words actually clung to Jana’s mind, she dropped her work and called me over. “Tony” she called in a sort of whining and questionable voice. To my consistency through the day she asked “Are you ready” with a smile on her face walking back and forth looking for files as I remarked, “I’ve always been ready, I’ve just been waiting for you.”

Keeping up the cocky remarks as Jana was being what I feel now to be her usual flirtatious self, she done some more walking around the office, calling me from afar as if we were playing duck-duck goose. Finally, sorting ourselves out, with a quiescent composure, I walked into the room asking if she preferred the door to be shut. “You don’t want the whole world to hear what we have to say,” she noted which was enough for me to close the door as I had preferred. Treating Jana as if she wasn’t superior and mucking around with my little actions, I tried not to see Jana as the supervisor, but as a peer.

Taking my seat across the desk from her, I sat back in my chair, waiting for the fun to flow. Knowing that Jana would follow suit and not take our appraisal seriously as per my intentions, I started talking what would have seemed gibberish to her whilst taking out the form. This mood of sarcasm can never escape me. Although I believe that I will be over this part of me once starting work and leaving it at home, I’m naïve to even consider my splitting from my characteristics.

Margot’s Opal Jug

Therefore, it wasn’t a surprise to me when out of the blue, when espying something that raised interest in Margot’s room, I brought it to our attention. Noticing an ornate glass jug that had some sort of glass gems inside I remarked “Oh wow, Margot has opals”.

I’m not sure if Jana thought I was stupid enough to actually think they were opals or if she was trying to go along with my zany attitude but when she replied, “If they were opals do you think Margot would be keeping them there,” I figured something was up. Rather, apart from those two logical explanations Jana was just being her normal self that some people dislike and some people can live with, like me.

Trying to be something that just wasn’t shining through, I replied to her distorted words with my cocky attitude, trying best to sound oblivious to her beliefs for my derisive pleasure. “Do you know how much one opal would be worth,” she continued as I racked up a ridiculous price in my head, blurting out something like, “Five thousand dollars.” As Jana continued about their worth and how they would most probably be made out of glass (Her realistic and logical answers sounding obnoxious to some) I uttered, “I can get them for you for fifty dollars.”

Sounding interested she excitedly asked, “Where, where can you get them from.” Crossing into the point of lameness I decided to go along with her ploy to note, “I buy them from Darling Harbor, from one of those twenty cent machines.” Looking at me with her mouth gaped open, disbelieving but at the same time gullible as hell, I explained with arm action how instead of a gum machine, it was an opal machine. Nevertheless, this warming up conversation got too weird even for me and as Jana kept noting that opals were worth heaps of money, I decided to digress onto other subjects and allow Jana to finally fill out her little questionnaire.

Curious About My Memoirs

“I’ll just put this appraisal to the side,” Jana noted as she harbored Najla’s first month’s information away from my eyes. Deciding not to ask me questions as to my rating, she looked off last month’s appraisal and judged upon my ethics from there on. The real interest in what was supposed to be a quick appraisal was recognized when Jana made the mistake against precious time and my energy upon these pages to ask a question about my memoirs.

It seems these days that most people at work who know of my memoirs seem to be interested in it. Intrigued would be a better word as they hear all this news floating around but never see the truth of my scriptures. Therefore, of course it’s going to float around some curiosity to which people now just feel comfortable to bring it up in conversation.

This I believe is a credit to my being more open these days where a year ago, my memoirs were a secret to everyone. Hidden from eyes which would be discouraging or without reasonable wealth in understanding. I felt that my telling everyone about these memoirs would only create more concern, knowing that in some way, they would change as have most people at work in little subtle ways.

There is no difference to the overall day but using David as an example, each of them want a piece of history in these pages. Their willingness to include themselves within the collaborative use of my thoughts is exciting as this shows people have optimism about my project one day lifting off the ground. These same people have a belief in the back of their mind that they will one day read upon their pages or that the world will read upon their lives. However, the people at work grip this concept differently to people of more intimate nature and close relationships.

For example, Lyssa has seen more of this diary than anyone else and yet, I feel that she thinks she’s seen too much and is anxiously concerned of these memoirs ever lifting off. I believe that people like Lyssa who are featured amongst these pages with such emotion tend to show nonchalant characteristics, hoping that if they tried putting it in the back of their mind, the dreaded thought of it one day being recognized will not be so evidently distressful.