A Year Since I Lost Lyssa (Part 1)

End Of The World Anniversary

New beginnings not just for me but for many other people in this vicious little circle. Much emotions, ranging from stupidity, monotony, naïveté and many others which make clockwork tick. Tonight has exploded with information and accompanied with old chronology I am but yet of a great explanation. Firstly, the more important saga which unfolds many layers begins with yesterday being the supposed end of the world as predicted by Nostradamus and today being the end of my world with Lyssa one year ago. There was much expectancy to at least speak to her tonight because we all know how I am with cataclysmic events and my remembrance of such.

It first started to unfold when I caught a cab to Elizabeth Street at the end of my workday to deliver a document. Wondering as usual how close it would be to Lyssa’s building I was surprised when in realizing that it was indeed Lyssa’s work. Delivering the document to the fourteenth floor I glanced at such resplendent views before heading back downstairs.

Upon entering Lyssa’s building I thought that I would head up there and say hello to her but I realized that she would have already ran for the train as the time was 4:45 p.m. Therefore, I too made haste for the train station in hopes of finding her around but without her sights at hand I traveled voided with her ghostly reverie to Central Station. I knew today was our one year anniversary of when we broke up and I wanted to at least see or talk with Lyssa today.

A Girl On The Train

Heading to the train station half an hour early I jumped on an almost empty express train and decided to sit relatively in the same seat as what I had on Friday with Kalliope. Hoping that she would make the effort to catch this train in hopes that we could chat all the way to Campbelltown I sat there, my eyes almost rolling into slumber each successive minute.

The minutes ticked on as the train filled and it was hard for me to distinguish in my mind what she looked like from all the women coming in. However, a few minutes before the train pulled off I noticed a girl with her hair and figure stepping on the train and making her way through the door into our carriage.

Having an expressionless glance with my weary eyes I didn’t want to jump out of the seat or make any sort of commotion so that she would think I was overeager. Nevertheless, my hopes were dashed when she glanced around the carriage for a seat in what seemed to be oblivious to my whereabouts. She looked slightly at me and then headed back to the first carriage and sat herself out of my view. This to me was a strike to my confidence as I looked right behind me and noticed the two-seater was empty. In other words, she probably saw me, noticed me but made it seem like she was oblivious.

As she walked away I kept doubting my prowess and forsythe to impress women as obviously, I wasn’t doing too great a job with her. I thought on Friday we were getting along fine but I guess her walking away not wanting to sit with me proved something. I’m not going to take her wayward glances as an insult. Rather, I will take a notch off my confidence and in time, I will build upon this loss.

Today I might not have allured the same girl to my infectious conversation and obviously I didn’t impress her enough with our conversation but there will be other days, other girls, other people to fall in love with. Nevertheless, it has been a year and I have made the first effort of moving on. After tonight’s little episodes I’m drawn on what extent I have moved on but it ceases to surprise me…

Gossip About Imad And Naqi

Waiting around for my bus tonight, Imad’s younger sister Jessamy sat down next to me in her bid to catch a bus. Our conversation had much insightful adoration to my curiosity and fulfillment where two parts of our gossip stemmed out above the rest. One of the more intriguing parts of conversation was how I was told of Imad finally having moved out of home. There you have it, Imad lived up to his word and finally got away from an overpopulated family and a loathed Naqi who has a head bigger than the whole house. Jessamy wasn’t too sure on why Imad moved out or where he moved to as she didn’t meddle in his life anymore.

Same too was when she told me how Naqi crashed his car about one week ago. It seems the story he spun to Jessamy was that he was swerving to avoid a car, he spun around on the road and the back of the car hit a pole. Doubting his bullshit stories, Jessamy couldn’t see how the back of his car could be damaged if he was going forward so I suspected that he was probably doing hellies and lost it.

Naqi is a dickhead and what I heard of him tonight makes me want to smash his head in for being such a pig-headed loser. My thoughts spanned to the extent that if I had seen him on the street, I would walk up to him and just start pounding into him regardless of how much or little he was hurting. Let me explain that story a little more now in such next paragraphs as these…

Ringing Lyssa Back

Once home from Campbelltown I wanted to pick up the phone and call Lyssa but I was hesitant to some degree. Figuring that Lyssa would be oblivious to what today was I figured any time that I called her would be a bad time as all her favorite television shows are on tonight and of course, they come first. Despite these insecurities I decided to take a big risk to my old self-conscious nature and gave Lyssa a call.

Breathing a sigh of relief as the phone was on call waiting, I let it ring four times and then hung up, hoping Lyssa would call me back knowing I have a private number. Minutes later Lyssa did call me back and as she asked glumly if I had called I responded in a chirpy mood. However, Lyssa’s disparaged voice was too clearly breaking and asking her if something was wrong, she didn’t sound too convincing when she brushed aside anything upsetting in her life.

“Come on,” I blurted, “I know you too well and I know when you’re upset. Just tell me what’s wrong.” Lyssa was almost to tears as she told me that she done something really bad that she wasn’t proud of. Inquisitively I lowered my speculative voice to ask “It isn’t anything sexual is it.” “No, of course not,” she answered almost in a laugh as my envy lowered a notch or two. After the thoughts of Lyssa having sex with some guy who then dumped her faded from my mind, Lyssa started slowly to unfold the truth of her wrongdoing night.

“You’ll probably yell at me if I told you what I had done,” she cried but as my questioning was persistent, she finally began upon her tale. When I first heard that Lyssa was the cause of Naqi and Penelope breaking up last night, the fury inside my veins began to prop up. I only knew what would come next from her mouth and it wouldn’t be pleasing to my ear. “Last night Naqi and Penelope were over my house and they had an argument” she told. “Naqi wanted to go out and have fun but Penelope just wanted to go home in which Naqi got angry.”

Taking a slight pause in her speech Lyssa continued “Naqi kept yelling at Penelope saying, “You never want to go out with me but when it comes to going out with your friends you’re out all night.” As the conclusion was coming clearer to Lyssa’s tale she remarked “Naqi gave me a weird look as the both of them were heading home and somehow I knew that he was going to come right back over to my house”. This is where my invidious hatred began to flow furiously hating to think what Lyssa could have done and what she could have prevented.

Naqi Makes His Move

At this point in time I knew that Lyssa wouldn’t go as far as jumping in bed with Naqi but I wouldn’t have put it past Naqi trying to make a move on Lyssa. Lyssa told me how Naqi came over ten minutes later and asked Lyssa if she wanted to go out for the night, just him and her. “I don’t think that would be right” Lyssa noted, “Penelope would get furious if she found out”. “Don’t worry about her”

Naqi shrieked and what was to be the biggest lie, “We already talked about it as I was dropping her off and she said it was alright”. Lyssa fell pray to Naqi’s pressuring persistence and as she said yes to his request I knew Lyssa was stepping into a big mistake. Naqi was covering himself up behind a shroud of innocence. Yeah sure, he might say that he’s only going out to have a good time but deep in his mind I know exactly what he was thinking.

Naqi’s always had a fascination for Lyssa. I truly believe that and from knowing his initial thoughts and intentions of Lyssa, I know what he would have been thinking. Naqi would have been trying to relive the moments of freedom before he committed adultery with that little tramp from Campbelltown. It would have been the same scene for Naqi except that he was taking a much classier woman out and she wasn’t a slut, but a friend.

I’ve always thought that Naqi knocked my friendship down a notch after I broke up with Lyssa and one up for her. That’s the reason Naqi and I decided to split differences by splitting our ways and I wasn’t surprised when he remained Lyssa’s friend afterwards. All those stories I heard from Lyssa about Naqi mucking around with her, picking her up and playfully having fights with her after we broke up, I know the internal intents.

Deep inside, Naqi was thinking what any male would and this was just his childish way to get close to Lyssa. Naqi would be thinking of Lyssa’s breasts or even to the extent of mild fantasizing about her when he would be engaged in these little frolics. I know Naqi inside out and his childish mind and I believe that Penelope also knows it well. However, she was more lenient to his wishes as she let him have his cookie and treat by allowing him to engorge himself in a strip poker game, two nights before Lyssa and I broke up.

Penelope knew exactly how to stay on top of his mind and in his heart by teasing his fantasies, allowing a little bit of a nibble as well as having him know just how much he could eat. Penelope allowed Naqi to muck around with Lyssa, she let him be playful, all the time knowing that Naqi had some secret intent in his mind. I guess Naqi stepped over the line that was brushed off when he had his fight with Penelope. Imad always said it was only a matter of time now, I guess time caught up with Naqi’s foul play and weak mind.