A Painter’s Sonnet and Lyssa’s Big Night (Part 1)

Writing the Sonnet

The trait of poetry has been running in these veins for the last two or three days now and because of my continuous conceptions on poetry and their expedient noting I have gained credentials in my bid to write. The will to write more poetry also came because I became galvanized due to Tarni wanting to see my poetry book and because this month was drawing to an end and still there was not one Sonnet written.

The need to print out the second coming of my Sonnets that include eleven new Sonnets will be initiated on Sunday and the blue paper I kindly borrowed from work, from the FAI Section. The time as you noticed was very early in the morning and I have been working on this Sonnet since midnight. Also, take note that the title and the last six lines of this Sonnet (The last quatrain and couplet) were written at least a month ago, stale bread you might say.

However, through all this time I couldn’t gather enough inspiration to capitalize on another Sonnet, that is until now. I gave it a chance now and again but I came up with delinquent lines that didn’t really fit. There was enough to make a Sonnet but note that none of the new lines actually used any parts of the delinquent lines, save for a word or two to add zest and flavor to the Sonnet.

Here now I shall include the Sonnet and then haste to sleep where I can wake up tomorrow and shed light on these scriptures as well as the forthcoming night…

I have in the name of art, another,

What better portrays than with nature’s limn,

Whose bristles diversely spread my meaning,

Such boundless hue immured by nature’s hem,

But soft as pale, his pastels and paintings,

Whose smears whence shall to mine flaw solvency,

Whose inward color casteth outward drab,

Whose rendition hath obscured clarity,

And whose canvas with mine forlornness dab,

Thou art a painter save with finer brush,

As life is of art’s rightful concubine,

An withal, these sanguine paints thou dost gush,

That mixes life’s solvents with turpentine,

And I to thy paint shall painter dismay,

That sweet strokes to daubs make ‘f nature’s array

Lyssa Calls Again

Saturday 7:00 p.m.

Lyssa to me is now so predictable in the events of when she calls me on the phone. Today I was out and given a call by Lyssa at 5:00 p.m. and when I called her at 5:45 p.m. I didn’t even know of it. However, the reason I called Lyssa was because Keith is selling his 34 cm television that has been at Tamsen’s house for the past year collecting dust.

Therefore, knowing that Lyssa would benefit from a television I decided to give Lyssa a call. Within a few minutes of our conversation my mum walked in and told me that Lyssa had called at the time already noted. This brought forth a curiosity as to why she had called but I should have known it would be the old adage of her having gotten onto someone or the want to get onto someone.

Speaking about her night last night at Byblos she couldn’t stop telling me that it was the greatest night she’d ever had. For one, she noted that she knew everyone there and the night didn’t end until 6:00 a.m. in which it then took two hours to get home. Reading into her happiness I uttered “You must be so happy because you got onto someone that night” in which Lyssa pause to finally reply “Getting onto someone doesn’t necessarily mean that I had a good night but yes, I did get onto someone”.

Lyssa and Ralf Again

Somehow it felt to me as if Lyssa was making such a stir about her night that she wanted for me to be inquisitive so she could tell me she got onto someone. It’s a sense of liberation to Lyssa when she speaks those words and gets it out into the open, as if we were taking a step further away from each other.

When Lyssa told me that she got onto Ralf again I said “Isn’t he the guy you don’t like, that’s explained as a lady’s man” and she agreed but went on to explain her night. The extent to which Lyssa would have gotten onto Ralf isn’t certain but I can be sure it would have been at least half of the night. When I had Lyssa measure her waist upon against my 29 Inches she also decided to measure her bust.

I’m pretty sure there was a hidden meaning behind this in which like her wanting to tell me about her passionate night, her action gave off a sense of question. I feel that Lyssa was probably told she had great breasts on Friday night which would have prompted her to think about them when measuring. Just so you know, Lyssa measured 23 Inches in the waist, 31 in the breast and hips.

Tipping the Coke Machine

The days of Lyssa and I getting back together are far over now. For long we have been drifting apart and like trying to tip over a coke machine, it never went down on the first push. We had to sit there rocking it back and forth until finally it would come down in a thud, the end of our relationship, our passions and our association that needs be with lust.

I remember Lyssa telling me that she would always love me 100 percent and she would always take me back if I would love her back 100 percent but I can be sure that if I was to ask her that question she would relent to answer as when her love for me was blooming. There was once a time back in the day where Lyssa wanted me to call her and wished that I would call every now and again for conversation but these days she doesn’t seem to care anymore.

Now that wish has come true for Lyssa as I have started to call her (Although that might cease again) but to her mind it just doesn’t seem to matter or phase her. On the phone today Lyssa told me that she never gets exited about anything because if she does she might get let down at the end. Therefore, Lyssa might be happy when I do call her but she has taught herself not to jump to conclusions and get excited.

Oh Lyssa, the ebbing and flow of passion and love in these hands does transgress much rules but the waters are subsiding. There are times when I close my eyes and see the Lyssa I fell in love with in my head. When everything was smelling like Roses and nothing could go wrong, I fell in love with those thoughts in my head and with that thought of Lyssa and I getting back together. However, when my eyes are opened and I think upon Lyssa now, I see her for what I know her and know that it could never be.

When I look at Lyssa now I see all the malignity between us and I see someone that I don’t love as much as what she used to be. To go back to those days of high love, of dating and falling in love again, I know it could never happen. As much as I’d like to close my eyes, read transcripts of our loving days and cry for the good memories, I know we can never go back to the peak of our relationship. Lyssa has changed, I have changed but the barrier between us has remained.

Two Phone Calls

Lyssa and I held two conversations tonight, divided by Keith heading over my house. In the first conversation we talked about her great Friday night, some chat about my work and what I’m doing tonight and tomorrow in Wollongong. Lyssa isn’t heading out herself tonight and instead, she chose to stay home and watch a movie with Constantine over. Lyssa didn’t wake up today until 5:00 p.m. and straight after waking up she called me which shows her habit of calling me when she gets onto someone or feels the need.

Within our second conversation when Keith left and we talked about selling his television Lyssa and I talked some more about everything. For one, I found out that Lyssa’s mum has had a boyfriend now for a couple of weeks and when I called Lyssa the second time she had invited her boyfriend and some other people for dinner. Lyssa then told me how Nikita and Constantine took E’s on Friday night and once again, how she had a great time at Byblos.

Lyssa didn’t speak much about Ralf but she did note that Ralf had called Lyssa in the last couple of days in which she thought it was sweet. Lyssa is probably going to start going out with Ralf pretty soon which I won’t lose any sleep over since we have separated much but there will be more of a distance between us.

I don’t want to draw parallels with my relationship with Lyssa and my wrongfully speaking to Jewell on the phone because if that happened between Lyssa and I it would be a different situation. For one, Lyssa and I were more intimate and now Lyssa and I loath each other more absent in emotion, almost totally save for memories relived. However, I feel that I’m speaking shit so I’ll allow the next paragraph.

Catholic Club Plans

Chronology, let us begin. Firstly, the time is 8:00 p.m. and Keith should already be down at the Catholic Club with what was told to be a group of at least a dozen. The reason I didn’t go to the Catholic Club tonight was for the fact that I hate wearing the same clothing of black and black so when 11:30 p.m. arrives Tyler is going to pick me up, then Shawn and then we’re meeting the rest of them at the club.

Keith told me that he would shout me in as I don’t have any money left. My parents gave me $50 last night and today while we were at Macarthur Square I bought three packets of exposures for my film which were in an individual pack costing just over $10. From what I’ve heard for tomorrow’s plans in heading down to Wollongong North Beach with a group of a dozen or more (Half are chicks) I thought a loaded camera wouldn’t go astray.

It’ll be just like the days when I was getting into my prime and meeting Lyssa, now I can start all over again with the new memories. It’s about time I started too as it feels right, everything is working for me. Even my confidence is dramatically increased and I don’t feel afraid of even considering walking up to girls that I see. Today at Macarthur Square I was more of my smiling self and I had that air about me that attracted the smiles of women.

They didn’t see the shy and timid old me but they saw the confident smile on my face and the curious eyes gazing at them. Soon I too will be hitched up and I really believe that this is a new age for me, the time for incline. And to think, it all started on May 24th when I received my first acceptance into the real world of confidence…