Waves of Memory
What wave doth diminish to naught, where in the same pond of memories and emotion, a pebble doth skim the water and stir a once distant surge. Where one wave would care to be forgotten and has almost dispersed past stirring has caused reminiscent water to flow once again, to hit upon the embankment of remembrance. This pond, with drop upon drop of stirring water doth cause flourishing waves of thought to enlarge about Jewell.
Waves that never had intention to disperse to naught but loomed within my mind and the depths of that emotional ocean. Now that one reign has diminished and inevitably subdued, I do for chaste past reminisce and break waves on this embankment that for every day swells. When these re-surged waves diminish I care not to know but I feel they will nevermore calm like still oceans.
Planning the Month
Now last night I obviously couldn’t accomplish on what I set out to do in this diary because I had company over. For a little while I thought that it would have been best to have a night by myself instead of inviting people over but I knew that some company was in order. The world isn’t over because of my actions and what’s more, I have additions to write of now.
However, before we even think upon chronology let me now to the thoughts of the coming month and how my voice shall guide my choices. Having myself a shower just a little while ago I looked out of the shower window and noticed the beautiful-looking day outside. It was at this moment that I wondered to myself “How great would it be if I could find something positive to do for each day of this month”.
Where I don’t sit at home bored but I do something constructive or creative. One day I might head to the City on the spur of the moment decision, another day I might be proud of a Sonnet I wrote. Positivism comes in different forms but I strive to reach my goals of riding around my bike again and seeking information about an English Course. This month no doubt is a new start, kind of like 1996 when I received my first job and I had all the enthusiasm in the world.
The will to write is within me but my mind is clamped with obscurity right now. This tends to happen when I think upon one subject of thought too hard and it clogs my ability to think properly. The thought that conjured this spell upon my deliberation was the title for this month. It has become somewhat of a tradition to now label each month with a ten syllable title (Usually the case) but due to this pondering my mind has drawn blanks.
Since I began to see the changes a couple of days ago I have tried my hand at a title but it has not come easy to me. Therefore, this stress upon my disposition has seen me break down the efforts of thought and for that I can only to chronology tend my hand.
Keith Never Shows Up
Before I begin my day let me just remind myself and all that my body is aching from the Gym. The first day out of the Gym was aching fairly intense but in the last two days the aching has shown no sign of going away and it has intensified a tad more. On top of that, I can feel it more in my hamstrings now and it’s a lot harder to bend my arms. Despite these pains of yesterday, I had different kinds of aches and that was of getting out of the house.
The plan was for me to head to Campbelltown with Keith as we had made loose plans the day before but Keith didn’t appear at my house. I called him early in the day and he told me he would be around at midday or a bit later but he never showed. His excuse was that he had a fight with Tamsen and he had to stay home but that’s pathetic if you ask me. Ralf also gave me a call up yesterday asking if I wanted to head to the City with him for his last day of holidays.
It seems he has decided to forget about our little fuss in the car a week before and he acted as if nothing was wrong, I didn’t care. However, I chose not to head to the City because I was waiting around for Keith and I didn’t have money. Shawn was supposed to head to the City with Ralf but he didn’t end up going and Keith had the same idea but he supposedly got stuck home, hibernation.
Gran Turismo With Shawn
For the most of the day I sat around waiting for Keith to come over and ended up doing nothing but using my computer, watching television and the usual that goes with the life of April. However, at 5:30 p.m. I received a call from Shawn who wanted to come over my house because he had Gran Turismo for his Playstation. Informing him that I wanted to get an early night’s sleep again he told me that he would leave around the time I wanted to get to sleep so I invited him over.
In half an hour he made his way to my house and after we both had something to eat we started playing Gran Turismo. Shawn won most of the first games because I was hitting all the walls and forgetting most of the maneuvers but once I got the hang of it I was in the midst of it. We played around 9 games where it was fairly even but Shawn beat me by one game. Turning off the Play Station when 8:30 p.m. arrived we started watching the football game where Newcastle played Parramatta, the team that Shawn backs.
Keith Calls Late
It was a fairly good game and as it was coming to an end near 10:30 p.m. Keith decided to give me a call. “What are you doing” he asked me, “Do you want to come out”. Hearing the same plight he always offers about heading to Subway I wasn’t too interested in heading out because I wanted to get to sleep. The tired-bug was starting to wear in but I invited Keith over so Shawn could get an alternative lift to his dad.
When the football game was over Shawn packed up his Playstation and called his dad to head home allowing me to get to sleep. When Shawn’s dad came over a few minutes later Keith also made his arrival at my house and as Shawn left Keith walked to my door. Trying not to sound too forward or rude I blurted out “I’m going to sleep now, don’t want to go out” and despite Keith’s frivolous attempts to have me come out he left as soon as he arrived.
“Alright” he sighed, “If you don’t want to come out you don’t want to come out”. Heading back to his car I headed straight to bed and from 10:30 p.m. I slept. This morning I woke up at the grand hour of 7:00 a.m. Slowly I’m working my way into the deeper hours of the morning and the later hours of the night but I feel that I finally have gained control of when I get to sleep.
This morning I haven’t done much out of the ordinary but I will see if Keith wants to head out to see a movie or if Shawn wants to come over again and play the Playstation. As far as the title and philosophy goes for this month, I shall have to tend it tonight or at a later date. Last month’s entry did diminish in page number, let’s see what happens this month.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
