Tatton Storms Off Over Black Bitch (Part 1) – Mad Chaos: April 6, 1999

A Lonely Opening Thought

The morn has prepared me for no lesser a text here than ere. The juice that flows for the exult of my mind still breeds lines of poetry but tonight, I shall dwindle upon such matters. There is only of one night to speak hither and had there been more spirit in these tiring eyes I to them would have toiled earlier. Save for the later hours in which we write, there is no difference to thought but that of an arduous reasoning.

Let now to chronology save for one comment. This world is a lonely place with millions living but not knowing. Dividing affluent and destitute, pessimists from optimists and harrowing of all other endeavors. The need for this outlook branches out from my being cut off from many people of past importance, people like Lyssa or Jewell. The need to move on and get myself a woman that will make me feel deserving might be my problem and the thought of being alone isn’t at all bad but I need a change.

A Beep Out the Front

Monday began for me at a late 3:00 p.m. but surprisingly, despite the daylight savings over it didn’t feel so late. Feeling a little lethargic still I had myself a shower to wake up fully and as the sun started to go down I had myself something to eat and watched television. With some hours passing and my watching news I started to get bored but when 7:00 p.m. arrived I was startled and surprised by a beep out the front.

Wondering who it could be I made my way to the front door in a slow movement and to my perception I gathered it was Tatton’s car but I knew Keith would be with him. In fact, when they made their trek up my driveway I realized it was Keith, Shawn and Tatton together. “Do you want to head out to the movies” Keith urged and wanting to get out of the house for some daily stimulus apart from the obvious I started getting ready.

Distorting the Truth

“By the way” I uttered to Keith, “I found out that missing word that fits into truth is misleading, it’s distortion, truth is distorted”. I’m pretty sure that Shawn and Tatton didn’t know what I was going on about but when they found out it seemed to be the main play of words for the night and the butt of most of our jokes. All the way to the movies and through the whole night we were hearing things like “Don’t distort the truth; you have a distorted memory; the car is distorted” and many other cracks.

My being a poet sits with who I call an acquaintance but I think it sits more with humor than with seriousness. I guess that this would have turned into witticism because they all think I’m some fanatic with words because of my poetry and I gather they don’t really take my poetic talent too seriously because of the sarcasm. Maybe this is the only way my acquaintances can show their appreciation of my talent and instead of accepting it with gratitude, they do with sarcasm and mockery. Also through the night in our mockery I kept getting asked by Tatton “What drugs are you on” and my new response would always be “Hypocrisy”.

Pinball and a Toilet Break

Making our way up to Macarthur Square had Keith at the wheel, once again being frugal with his precious petrol. Parking down at the entrance to Ettamogah Pub we made our way up to the Cinema entrance and checking what movies were playing we realized that ‘Varsity Blues’ was two hours away. Hacking not on time’s fraying we made our way to the games area where Keith began to play the pinball machines, ‘Star Wars’ to be exact. Feeling that these machines were the most boring in the whole place I thought heading to the toilet and sitting on the bowl would be more fun, thus I did and it was.

Plenty of shoving and pushing the pinball machine later, we made our way back to the car and having my playing cards in hand, we headed for ‘Subway’, where else. Despite our always being there, I feel a little better knowing we have befriended Hamish and that he enjoys our company of a night.

Eyes Across the Counter

Entering the driveway I looked into the store hoping that I would see Briony and her ass walking around and just past Hamish I did see her. Parking the car we jumped out and made our way to the tables, which were largely available being practically empty. Having at least an hour or more before we had to head back to the movies to watch ‘Varsity Blues’ we began our games of ‘Black Bitch’.

Hamish didn’t look like he wanted to make conversation with us at the start of the night so I just put that down as his wanting to look good in front of Briony. On the occasion that I did glance at her behind the counter, I noticed she was staring right back at me. Having seated myself so that I would be able to undiscernibly spy at her I didn’t count on her glued eyes upon mine. Every now and then, I would glimpse over to see her looking as if with awe but what she had seen in me was probably much more than I had seen in her.

Briony is pretty, she has a great ass and a firm pair on her but it’s the fact that she looks like Harley with more pimples that affects me. Despite her being sixteen years old and an inexperienced virgin, I do favor her likeness somewhat. However, as the night progressed, Hamish spent more time chatting with her and she spent less time staring at me out of fear of being caught.

Briony was as I was, keeping to herself but letting the eyes wander passively. Alas, she did leave half an hour after I had seen her in a silken wind and that for my night was the last I had seen of her but not talked of her…

Tatton Storms Off

Tatton was being a loud idiot while Briony was there and also when she had left. Both Shawn and I were snapping cards from his hands as he shuffled and dealt them out. When we were playing the game both Shawn and I would be erratic with our placement of cards and it would piss Tatton off all the more because it would confuse him. At times, yelling at the top of his voice wouldn’t explain it but all we could do was spur him on more by doing the same thing.

“Look, if you don’t watch out I’m going to jump in my car and head home” he shouted but in our undying humor we kept on not heeding his intimidation. Hamish was also amazed, as was Briony with the amount of bullshit that was coming out of Tatton’s mouth. To explain him precisely would be to say he was like a girl chucking a sissy-fit each time we taunted him. “That’s it, I’m going home” Tatton shouted out as he plunked his cards on the table and stormed out.

All this because Shawn and I were taking cards he had placed down and put it in our hands only to use this in the same turn. The three of us sat there wondering if Tatton was actually going to drive home and leave us stranded. Optimistic we were that he wouldn’t head home even when he jumped in his car and started reversing but as he drove away, we thought we had seen the last of him.

“Do you think he’ll drive around the block and come back” Keith asked but that answer was self told, he never came back. “What a dog” we all uttered and as we did Keith remarked “I’m going to remember this”. For the next couple of minutes we were planning how to get Tatton back one day by driving somewhere desolate and then chucking him out of the car, good fun.

Finding a Lift Home

With Tatton gone, we had no tangible way of getting home other than walking so the deliberation began. “Why don’t you call Tamsen” I uttered to Keith as he informed me she had the pictures developed. That to Keith was out of the question as Tamsen was sleeping so the next best thing was to try Binh who had invited us to the movies earlier in the night or Simon from Pizza Hut.

Hamish came to sit with us through the time that Briony was there and moreso when she had left. As we kept playing cards and had Hamish join in, Keith called up Simon to see if he was available to help us out. After informing him what a pickle we were in, he told Keith that he would come down later and with a little of my persuasion, I had him say that he would stick around for some cards. Therefore, I made Simon feel more than just a lift or for us to be using him. In other words I tried to make him feel the opposite of how Keith came across.

Free Chicken and Hot Chips

In our wait for Simon was when more insinuating chaos eventuated. Hamish was out of lettuce to make his foot longs and in Keith’s call he asked that Simon bring some with him. If that was done Simon would get a free foot long and for our calling him we all got a box of hot chips to share.

However as Keith went to the toilet and I went to prank Tatton at home a couple of times I asked Hamish if he could get me a piece of chicken, he gave me two. This was a good meal for myself and considering I only had a small meal before leaving, this was my dinner with the chips and the large cookies I ate later. Hamish is a good asset to my getting free food these days and it was a good move that we befriended him for the sorts that there will be parties to come and free catering for most events at ‘Subway’.

Raiding the Entry Box

During my dinner Keith decided to open the box that had all the entries for the ‘Win the best seats to the Football Grand Final’ contest. If you recall, Keith was filling heaps of these entries out last time we were there and the next time after that I had Hamish hide the booklet from him.

This time around he opened the box up and had seen what he gathered. To his predicting he came across heaps of entries handed in by the overly skinny boss chick that is going out with that skinny worker. Both of them haven’t been seen for a while but Keith told me he was told that she had taken out all of his entries that night he had written them and opening the box Keith was just seeking revenge.

Hamish’s Boss Walks In

With Keith pillaging and plundering the entry box for the competition Hamish protested and when he shouted “Quick, that’s my boss outside” we thought he was just fooling around to get us to stop. Hurrying himself up Keith didn’t really want to take too much chances and as he was putting all the entries back in his phone rang. The scene was frantic enough that I can’t remember who he was chatting with but I remember Hamish’s boss coming in, the one owning the jeep we haven’t seen yet.

Keith looked suspicious around the block as he was talking on his phone but as the chick made her way behind the counter Keith decided to be an idiot and take the entry box secretly to the bathroom. Still eating fragments of my chicken I sat down and tried not to look guilty for Keith’s sake. Looking at Shawn we both shook our head at each other and knew that Keith was once again being selfish. Just as Keith doesn’t really care about anyone else’s possessions he didn’t care about Hamish loosing his job because of his idiocy.

The boss did suspiciously clean around the entry box area and her uttering “Where’s the entry box” to Hamish was obvious evidence that she knew something was amiss. Both her and Hamish began searching stupid places like on chairs and as they didn’t bother asking us I knew the lady knew and suspected we knew of the whereabouts.

Meanwhile, Keith was in the bathroom being the fat fool he is and flushing most of the entries down the toilet. With Hamish giving the both of us a look as if he was in big shit Shawn made his way to the bathroom, obviously to tell Keith not to bring out the entry box now because it had been noticed as missing.

A Stain That Will Dry

Making his way back out of the toilets I spotted a stain on his pants that would have been a fresh stain from his urinating and not drying himself off properly. Duly noting the evident yellow mark near his loins he made his way back into the bathroom. When he came back out the spot was much wetter and bigger in diameter but he thought this was a better look. “It’ll dry off” he remarked as he sat down, picked up his cards and began play.

The lady eventually went home half an hour later but in that whole time Hamish didn’t come over to chat to us for obvious reasons. When she had gone we all scolded Keith for being inconsiderate of others and as Hamish sat down we commenced with our games of ‘Black Bitch’ and ‘Asshole’.

When we started to get bored with those two games because of our continual cheating we decided to play ‘Cheat’ but that only lasted one game. Once again through the whole night I was making fun of and paying out on Keith. There was no cease in my deliberation of insults and in retrospect, Keith is just another Tatton but with more consistency in insults due to his bigger size and insipidity.