Ringing Phoenix After the Fight (Part 6) – Mad Chaos: March 29, 1999

Hairdresser or Home

Making our way to the station after our meal Lyssa done the impossible, she thought about her selfish self once again. “Are you coming to the hairdressers with me today” she asked and considering I had told her that I was still angry with the night’s events I would have gathered she would have given up that alley of questioning. However, Lyssa could only look after her own problems and my problems did not matter in her day’s scheme. Informing Lyssa that I was going to head to Bradbury to vote and that I wouldn’t be able to stick around Lyssa started to get shitted.

With that she blamed me for not being able to vote and noted “Now I’m going to have to pay the fine for not voting because of you”, how inconsiderate. Why should I value Lyssa any more than I have to when she did not value me at all on Friday night. Why should I always have to feel obligated to be there for Lyssa when I don’t really have to be. Why is Lyssa so obsessive about these certain predicaments…

Bickering on the Train

Making our way to the train we both jumped on as Lyssa wasn’t going to vote by herself. “Do you want to come to my house” she asked me and I’m not sure why she asked this but I denied her that opportunity because I wanted to get home and I didn’t want to prolong the disappointment any further. On the train to Campbelltown Lyssa was constantly in my ear like a bickering wife as to why I wasn’t staying with her.

“You’re so slack, I would never do this to you” she kept repeating to me trying to make me feel bad but I knew I had no obligation to stick around bored for an hour with a person that betrayed me the night before. I wasn’t going to be the sucker that Lyssa wanted me to be and I knew that if I had fallen prey to Lyssa’s demand I would have been below her.

Once off the train and in Campbelltown we walked without speaking to each other down the street and when she got to a hairdresser she just walked in without saying anything to me. Gathering that this was where Lyssa was getting her hair blow-dried (Which I think is pointless and costly to do every weekend) I kept walking because of her snobby action.

Knowing that I wouldn’t subject myself to an hourly wait just so Lyssa could push me off and head home when her hair was done I knew that Lyssa would dog me and offer no assistance to get home, it was in her greedy nature.

Arguing at the Lights

Furthering my walk down the main street I was caught up by Lyssa and as she came up next to me by surprise she asked “How come you didn’t stop”. The truth is that I did stop for a couple of seconds but Lyssa did not warn me or even acknowledge me so I just kept walking. When we reached the lights we broke out into a little argument that was kept rather quiet but as I looked around I noticed a couple of people looking at us with shock.

The reason they were shocked is because Lyssa was saying things like “Just because you didn’t get your sex last night doesn’t mean you can’t wait with me for an hour”. You see, the time was 11:00 a.m. and Lyssa’s appointment was at 1:00 p.m. She wanted me to hang around for those two hours until it was time for her to get her hair blow dried but I didn’t want any part of it, I just wanted to get home so I could forget about the torturous night.

While at the lights Lyssa also abused me by saying “I can’t believe you’re being such a prick, stay with me” but it did nothing to help her cause.

Never Call Me Again

As we crossed the street I was about to head the rest of the way home when Lyssa persuaded me just to sit down on a bench to talk for a minute. Lyssa made me feel like it was my obligation to stay with her despite her treating me like shit at the time but I had on belief in her. Lyssa disgusted me so much in her approach that I had a fear she would start screaming out to me as I walked away like she used to do back at her house.

As I was sitting with her I asked her very clearly if she was going to scream at me when I started walking away and when I realized that this wasn’t going to happen I said “Alright then, I’m going home” and stood up. Squinting her eyes and speaking in a voice of terror and disgust Lyssa remarked “Don’t ever call me again, I don’t want to know you” and with that I left. Looking back while I was a fair way from her I noticed she was still sitting on the bench, her arms crossed and nothing but a hateful look on her face.

Let me ask you, do you think she had 100% love for me at that particular moment, I don’t think so.

Two Nights of Quiet

Since Saturday I haven’t received a call from Lyssa yet and it has come as a comfort. It has been two nights now and today when Keith called me I sighed thinking it would be her but relief came with a name. I think it is still too sudden for Lyssa or I to start talking in regards to things being calm because they will never be resolved. Now that Lyssa knows how I feel about her constantly disappointing me in sex and her telling me that she can never be what I want her to be I feel that we won’t be sexual.

Not that we ever have been to my heart’s content in the near past but I feel it will be more of a nothing now, this sexual tension between us. Yet, let me just say that I am a fool to ever have hoped with Lyssa and still, I hope with Lyssa.

Voting at Bradbury

Making my way home by walking I made my venture to Bradbury school where I quickly made my way inside while being inundated with people handing me pamphlets. The voting sheet was as big as a table cloth but my voting was very quick, very rapid.

Thinking of Phoenix

On most of my way home I was thinking how much I needed someone to treat me how I wanted to be treated and that’s when I thought to give Phoenix a ring. I didn’t care what Lyssa thought because Lyssa shouldn’t be part of my decision making when it comes to women. Thus, when I got home I gave Keith a call and sounding somewhat frustrated I asked for Phoenix’s mobile phone number. He gathered that I was going to blow her up for some reason so I didn’t tell him my real reason for the call.

Feeling somewhat like Ali when he cheated on Penelope, I wanted to acquire some sexual release with Phoenix as she is the easiest thing on two feet and so accessible. My nature to call Phoenix was to see if she would be able to satisfy me in the near future, maybe even on the day as I was feeling rather lustful.

Ringing to Make Amends

When I finally gained my momentum to call Phoenix I devised what to start with as we are warring at the moment. However, once we started small talk in our conversation Phoenix asked me why I was calling and my answer was “I was ringing to make amends between us”. Knowing that Phoenix was someone who didn’t hold grudges she didn’t mind me calling and for the next half an hour we chatted with each other.

Trying to be a friend rather than a lustful caller and concealing my intentions from the start I wanted to chat to Phoenix first before making a pounce to see what her status was. To my disappointment I found out much later in our conversation that she had a boyfriend called Garrett who was the manager at her store. Finding out more about him, he was 19 years old and he was still a virgin.

On top of that, his virgin talk insisted that he get married to Phoenix before he thought of having sex with her but the both of us believe he won’t be able to last that long. Phoenix has been going out with him for two months and I’m not the type to butt in and try and stamp my authority to break them up so I didn’t intrude my thoughts.

Gossip About Imad

Withal, we also talked of everyone in the group, how they were doing and with a little more interest upon Keith. Making our way to chat about Imad she told me how they were pushed together by Sofia’s crazed boyfriend and how he asked her out over the phone, how lame. Phoenix was believing that he was the real deal for a little while but when he started disappearing through the day or when he would turn his phone off she started getting wary.

This would have been around the time that Imad started fucking Pippa again but despite that, Phoenix decided to drop Imad after two months. She also sought to tell me that Imad is not that he’s all cracked up to be. Imad always boasts about how he is a sex machine, how he gets all the girls and how he is a stud but Phoenix had seen different in him. Firstly, Imad was a big fake, he wasn’t that good or experienced in sex and on top of that, he wasn’t very big.

Our conversation ended when Keith came over for about ten minutes and when he left I called her back but she was talking on the phone. Therefore I just dismissed myself and told her I would call some day but as yet, I have not picked up that phone. Phoenix is constantly busy, she is always at work and if she isn’t she’s always sleeping. For that reason I would find it hard to get her over to my house for a little bit of sexual frolics and on top of that, she has a boyfriend.

The Rest of Saturday

The rest of my Saturday night was rather vague. When Keith left I called Shawn so that he could come over with the Play Station but I got to sleep for a much needed hour as I had only slept for four hours on Friday night. Saturday night was only of Play Station which ended at 9:00 a.m. on Sunday and this is where I received my out of the ordinary prank call. It was from two girls I have never known and to make a long story short, they invited me to their house and I accepted.

Fate really did play a cruel joke on me but I will get to that when next I speak in this Diary. Today had seen me head to Campbelltown to buy my new Adidas pants and also to buy two new CDs which I needed very much for a change. Money for the Gym is quickly draining and I have cancelled my link payment from today so I am now having to worry about future debt and a job. There hasn’t been much of a dramatic time today but I will speak them all in due time, this chronology, in due time…