A Yugoslavian Sonnet and a Fake Stamp (Part 1) – Mad Chaos: March 2, 1999

Writing in My Old Tongue

A new month brings new adventures and new meanings, this month brings a new but old tongue of mine. For a long time now I have played with the thought of writing a poem in Yugoslavian, far before I heard that Yugoslavian poem on television about wind crying with us. There have been days where I would talk with mum candidly for a minute asking her what would rhyme with what in Yugoslavian, trying to teach her rhymes. Then there would be days where I would make up some rhymes in Yugoslavian and say them to her.

Tonight I have excelled and brought here a Sonnet in Yugoslavian. I guess what also brought this on is that Lyssa and I were having a conversation tonight about my language. Advising me that learning languages was like poetry to me she asked me to teach her a few words and teaching her the word ‘Stars’ in a sentence I was spurred on after the phone call.

The Poem and Its Translation

Before I begin with any chronology of Saturday night I shall print this Yugoslavian poem here and knowing that no one would understand the words that I print I will also include an English version. Believe me though, in the English translation a lot of the magic is lost in the words and even though I have made the both of them ten syllables a sentence in each version it lacks potency. Thus, only a Macedonian would truly be able to gain any sort of poetical reward out of what I wrote, not in the English pretense but in that of Macedonian. So here first will be the Yugoslavian version and then the translation for such…

Gospot imat, I vo cheloto mi cedit,

Ako mi ci ti tzel zhivot, kai ci,

Sho ne mosham da te vidam ovde,

Ako moish da kazshish kai ci, kazshi,

I so tvoi gluss Donesigo nov den,

Yas placham za tebe secoi noicke,

So tvoite ochi, moite che plachart,

Oviye Solzi che idat poicke,

So Sekoi den zshivam, vreme davat,

Mesechina che gi gledam vecher,

I tebe che te baram vo nemi,

I ako te naidam, na chelo che te clum,

Za tebe da gledam za tzel zhivot,

So gospot ti bidish, a ne mut veza,

Mesechinata, vo mene ce gledat,

What the Poem Says

So beautiful I do think this poem is that speaks of a love for another. Basically, the story is about someone who has lost a loved one and sits speaking in a soliloquy. He speaks how she was his whole life but he can no longer see her, that meaning her spirit essence.

This man hopes that she is in heaven and wishes she could tell him and if he were to know she was in heaven the emptiness would be gone. He speaks how he cries and years for her probably as much as she does in heaven and how each day will increasingly become hard.

But then he speaks how he will look for her in the stars as he knows that if he finds her he will pluck her memory out of the sky and place it in his heart so that he can protect her there forever. He also speaks how he believes and knows that she is with god in the stars (Even though he truly doesn’t know that). Then he states that her star shall live in him forever. That is now enough talk of the subject so in this new page I shall print in lesser appreciation the English Translation…

There is a god and in my heart he sits,

If you are my whole life then where are you,

That I can’t see you here in front of me,

If you can tell me where you are, tell me,

And with your voice bring to me a new day,

I cry for you every single night,

With your eyes that tear, mine shall also cry,

And these tears I weep shall come all the more,

With every day I live, time shall give,

I will watch the stars in the sky tonight,

And I will look for you amongst them all,

And if I find you, on my Chest shall place,

So I can protect you for all my life,

You are with god, yet it doesn’t matter,

Your bright stars, within me they can be seen,

Power of words does not only capitalize on the English language but poetry can be heard in all foreign tongues. There is no foreign tongue to poetry but to those that shan’t understand it. Like music or paintings, poetry has disparity but in the end, are we not all the same.

The Stamp Came Off From Sweat

Now, getting back to my Saturday night chronology, I believe I am up to the part in the night where we had finished with the ‘Orient’ and were on our way out. The time would have been around 3:00 a.m. when we left so that would have made it very early in Sunday.

Heading back down to Circular Quay we came past Jackson’s on Imad and having a feeling that it would be free I ushered Ralf in with me. Making our way upstairs I noticed a guy with the stamp in his hand and a security guy at the door so I thought to try and scam my way in. Walking up to him I showed him my arm and uttered “The stamp came off because I was sweating” and all he could do was look at me and laugh.

Sticking with my story I just moved back a couple of steps and watched some girls get in for free. Gathering that the night was free anyway and that’s why the guy was laughing at my attempt I tried once again despite Ralf urging us to leave. “It’s free tonight isn’t it buddy” I said to the guy and as he nodded he stamped my hand and we were in Jackson’s on Imad.

Ralf Chatting Up Girls

Walking towards the bar and up to the dance floor I noticed a fair few people there but considering the floor was so little there were around 30 people there at most. Passing the bar I noticed that Ralf was pulled back by two women around his age so I thought also to stop. Being somewhat plump I watched him chat away with them thinking that he was acting so lame.

Introducing me to them I thought it was funny how Ralf told me he was going to have a smoke with them even though he doesn’t smoke because he was offered. I just feel that Ralf accepted the smoke because he had some sort of thing for the chubby girl we were talking to but she didn’t end up having a smoke for him anyway. Pulling Ralf away so we could dance the blonde but uglier girl told us that she might come up with us and dance later, I’m sure Ralf was happy about that.

Before we left the two girls at the bar Ralf was pulled up by another girl, this time it was a Samoan type girl that was around my age and height. She wasn’t too attractive but normal with her black hair and nice smile.

Ralf chatted to her for a minute and starting to get pissed off because we were taking too long I walked close to the dancing area to look around. Walking back in a couple of seconds to look for Ralf I noticed that he had disappeared and could only gather he must have walked straight past me to the dance floor. Yes I was right, the fruitcake had walked straight past me.

Before we could even start dancing on the floor Ralf noticed someone else and told me he would be a couple of seconds as he went over to talk with her. Dancing by myself in the middle for a little while I wasn’t troubled but Ralf took his damn time. As usual, he likes beating around the bush and because he was taking five minutes to talk with her I decided to walk over to them. Jumping up on the higher part where she was dancing with her boob tube I placed myself behind the both of them and just kept to myself.

Ralf kept blabbing on and I gather that she was starting to get bored with him, I would have. Eventually Ralf introduced me to her and she was surprised that I was with him because it didn’t appear so.

Watching Ralf Dance

Ralf finally stopped talking to her and just started dancing but as he did I thought to visit the bathroom. Needing to go to the toilet and also sweating like a pig I told Ralf I would be only a minute and leaving him dancing next to the girl who was around his age (He knew her, she was getting married soon and had red short hair) I left him.

Going to the bathroom and then drying off my dripping face that was totally drenched I headed back out but didn’t get up to dance. Instead, I grabbed a seat near the dance floor and just looked on as Ralf danced near the skinny girl around his age, if only I could remember her name.

Checking out the scene I also noticed a blonde girl who was a great fluid dancer and I was tempted on many occasions to just jump up and dance with her but that didn’t happen. Seeing Ralf on the higher part of the dance floor was funny because everyone could see him and he looked so out of place. Being larger than anyone up there he was waving his hands around and had this stupid goofy smile about him that just made me look at him and bury my head in my hands for his shame.

Seriously, if you had seen him you too would think he was a fruitcake and having spent all this time with him recently, I think I’m entitled to my opinion. Ralf was looking around and pulling perturbed faces whilst looking for me and swearing he looked straight at me on several occasions (The distance is only two or three meters) he assured me that he didn’t see me sitting down where I was.

Dancing Behind the Bars

Jumping out of my chair when I noticed the girl that danced really fluidly jump back on stage I made my way up to the bars and then behind them. It was fairly dark back there and I didn’t mind dancing by myself because of the misty atmosphere. Thinking that there were some girls up there it turned out that there was only one girl out of a bunch of guys but I kept on dancing anyway.

One guy made friends with me because he knew me from Campbelltown but as they all jumped out I done the same minutes later. Seeing that Ralf had left his spot I knew that he was walking around looking for me so I headed to the toilets to where he might be looking. Again my face was drenched when I looked in the mirror and wiping it down with tissues Ralf walked in. “Have you been in here all this time” Ralf asked of me but instead of slapping him upside the head I told him where I had been and what I had been getting up to.