Summer of Misfortune and a Dusty Shelf (Part 3) – Mad Chaos: December 15, 1998

A Time Zone Daydream

Just before I head off in this 6:25 a.m. hour of the day I will say one more philosophical question or two. What would it be like if I lived on the borderline of two time zones. Just say I was somewhere between Eastern and Central time in America where there is one hour difference in time. What would it be like if you wake up for work having to cross a time zone in the progress.

You would wake up at 9:00 a.m. where work should be starting, you get dressed, you shower and you drive. Across the time zone you travel setting you back an hour which gets you there on time, at 9:00 a.m. Now you finish work at 5:00 p.m. but when you get after half an hour of driving the time is 6:30 p.m.

What sort of affect would that have on you and how would it differ if it was the other way around and you had to give yourself an extra hour in the morning but you had more time to spare that night. Just a philosophical thought for you all out there looking for that extra hour of overtime but making that extra hour feel like no time had passed as you get home.

Living Like a Night Owl

Tuesday 11:45 p.m.

The hours tick closer now to midnight and I can be sure that no chaos will now ensue. No chaos is of my days whence I wake in the afternoon and sleep in the morning. Here in my silent room, abandoned to animation and keeping me within like a prison cell do I sit alone, eating only when hungry, barely seeing outside life. This is how I’ve made my life of nocturnal nature and when I thought it could change since I woke up early I was wrong, my weariness was misled. What could one do that is productive at such a nocturnal hour.

There are no shops open, no friends to see, no car to drive, no places to visit. All I have is myself, bodybuilding and that fortnightly rush to better myself with money that needs be spent. Life right now is ridiculous and to stoke up the household with another computer game or more obsolete tools to keep me captivated is useless. What is the better life… Having all the time in the world to my thoughts and my actions or reserving that time to a selective four hours each day as the rest I spend relating to work.

‘What is the better life’ I sit here and ask. Was it this year’s memories of emptiness coated with rhyme or last year’s copiousness where scattered memories were sublime. This year it would seem was not as great as last year in memories or fun. Let us just hope when this year ends that the lessons learnt will be the building blocks for my ascent, let us hope.

The Dusty Shelf of Cards

Just having come back into my room from having a shower to start this Diary entry I walked past the deserted area where once so much loyalty resided. Loyalty in the form of a birthday Card from Jewell, an Condolence Card from Lyssa and a Valentines Card from Kathryn. So dusty and barren is that area now that only holds an enigmatical reminder of what used to be so lavishly decorated.

Firstly, the falsity of one such person bid me to return their Birthday Card, thus there were two. The ferocity of another bid her to rip it up, now there is only one. If Kathryn had her chance and had seen her card when she was angry with me she probably would have taken her card leaving me with no prosperity upon what used to be so ornate.

This last reminder that I have done right by love and love has done right by me is now so cold, so alone, so obsolete in significance waiting to be taken away. Three lady’s of my life dared show their affection for all to see. Now only one stands but stands insignificantly.

Summer of Misfortune

This Summer already being labeled the summer of love until now has not lived up to its expectations. The beach has not been visited, I’ve visited only one or two nightclubs as yet, once I’ve visited Campbelltown and my days are outnumbered being stuck in this room. Nay, if this onslaught keeps up I shall label this the ‘Summer Of Misfortune’ rightly so until the New Year. I really believe that more responsibility gained is more responsibility in the hand.

For example, right now I have no responsibilities, nothing to live up to. If I were to own an apartment that would be a responsibility and with that I would have more responsibilities like a job to pay the rent and more of a life. Where I am now can’t be good and I wish I had something motivational that will help me get out of the house. You can be sure that if I had a car I wouldn’t be letting it sit outside gathering leaves while I sat inside.

Budget for Getting Bigger

Speaking of responsibility, the phone bill still hasn’t come yet and I’ve been waiting upon it since the start of this month. Now I’m hoping the phone bill doesn’t come until the start of next year and for that reason I’ve dedicated some extra money to buying food to help me gain pounds for bodybuilding. There has been a plan devised in which I drink much more milk, buy fruits and probably a protein supplement to get me bigger in the next couple of weeks leading to the new year.

Already I’ve gained 1.5 Kilo’s in the last two weeks, I’d like to gain more the right way. My Credit Card will be credited $30 with the next pay which will also be the last pay for this year unless Centrelink once again pulls something out of their ass. When my payments commence once again in the new year and gathering I don’t have a job yet I’m going to save for the phone bill with the help of my parents and after that I will save money in the bank as well as starting to purchase clothing for myself, for the new year and for a new look.

Right now most of my money is being spent on bodybuilding where $30 goes to my hours at the Gym, $25 will go to food, $15 to once again wax my legs and some money for moisturizer. If I got some extra money once again I’d love it, I’d go out and spend some on clothes or a supplement as well as banking some of that money.

Lyssa Rings Far Too Early

Now that I have schematics out of the way let me finally lay inspiration to the night on Sunday when Lyssa came over and we experienced sweet passionate oblivion. As you know already I arrived home around 8:30 a.m. walking from Ralf’s house after his big party out. Abrupt was my waking up that held stress when the phone rang at 11:00 a.m. and upon picking it up I knew it would be Lyssa.

As pissed off as I was I talked with Lyssa unhindered and half asleep for five minutes. Lyssa let me get back to sleep after finding out what time I came home and to be quite honest when I woke up at 3:00 p.m. I couldn’t even recall Lyssa calling. The only way I remembered that it wasn’t a dream was to ask my mum how much times the phone rang and when she told me the phone rang at 11:00 a.m. I knew it hadn’t been a dream.

Having myself something to eat and cracking the bones that were so dormant from being slept on I decided to give Lyssa a call back. The time was 4:00 p.m. when I picked up the phone and to my curiosity was added when I found out that Lyssa wasn’t home. For the next two hours I must have been watching television because I hadn’t been on the computer yet.