Lyssa Rings Out of the Blue (Part 2)

Jett and Min-Su Visit

A couple of hours down the track into my Saturday night I hadn’t received a visit from Keith but replying to a knock on my front door I found it to be Jett and Min-Su. Just having had a shower I was in my towel so I changed in my room quickly as they waited and then let them in. The both of them had arrived in Min-Su’s parent’s car, something they lend out often to her now.

To spare a dragging of words, the important aspects of their visit was when I mentioned that Keith had called me earlier in the day and told me the news. From there Min-Su told me that she had to give Keith a call that night but she didn’t want to. Her anxiety was holding her back from making that call because she didn’t know what Keith was going to ask her.

Offering my phone so that she could give him a call she kept putting it off, meanwhile having to put up with Jett playfully licking her face. Out of all the couples I know, Jett and Min-Su are the most kittenish and mischievous. They show their love in little ways instead of making it known that they are showing off like Naqi and Penelope used to do and probably still do.

If ever I knew a loving couple I would have to say it was Jett and Min-Su as never before have I seen two people share a love equally as they do. Within a relationship there is always one that loves the other more and therefore, that is from where relationship problems emerge. Either one loves too much and loathes loving for lack of benefit or the other that shows less love shows the vulnerable link in that love and therefore, creates a void to disastrous situations. That is my philosophy on couples who were meant to be in love and loving couples who are so meant to fall out of love.

Dinner Upstairs and Lyssa Calls

Heading upstairs to ready the food my mum had prepared I made a bargain that I would keep myself up there for fifteen minutes so Min-Su would have her privacy when calling Keith. This fell upon her ears very well so I done so and with that had a chance to eat my dinner without having them (In particular Min-Su because she is female in sight of my male divulgence) see exactly what I was eating.

Before I could sink my teeth into some broccoli the phone rang and thinking it would be Keith I was surprised to find it a voice not heard for a fair length of time now. Lyssa was on the other end of the phone, saying “Hello” in her anxious and uncertain way as she usually does when now she calls me. To my belied ears I did answer as I always do when mostly silent and angered with Lyssa.

When the small talk was finished (although it never was over) Lyssa asked me what I was doing and as I had informed her that I was upstairs she was quick to let me get back to my business as she was discomfited speaking to me. Asking Lyssa if she wanted me to call her back a little later in the night could have been one of my bigger mistakes but right now, I’m not sure if it was or wasn’t.

Thoughts on Lyssa

For these past three weeks that I haven’t spoken to her I haven’t been brewing hatred for her or any liking towards her. Rather, I have tried to keep Lyssa out of my mind as I have of Jewell, I just don’t think of them and when I do, only sparingly. However, in the earlier days that Lyssa and I didn’t chat to each other I harbored many thoughts of what I would say out of spiteful hatred in our next conversation.

Of all the wrongs that Lyssa done to me (to name just two, my degradation to self-pity on our hotel night and her maltreatment by shunning me and putting me down when I gave back her money) I wanted our next conversation to be a payback of verbal hatred. I wanted to angrily remark, “Why are you calling me you bitch” or utter somewhere on the lines of “Look, I don’t need to talk to someone as pitiful and desperate as you,” something demeaning.

Mostly, I wanted to forget about Lyssa, as now I know, if I am reminded of her in any way, my cares and thoughts for the next few hours are of her. When I called Lyssa back later that night I done it because Lyssa had confused what hatred I really had for her. Although I was composed and subdued in what I did say, I didn’t want those thoughts of inviting Lyssa to call me or even as bold a thought as her coming to my house to be in my head.

However, as Lyssa told me that she was home alone and giving away those subliminal messages I was tempted to open the door for her but I know that Lyssa would only hurt me much more if I allowed her to demoralize me again. Willpower is a competent virtue if used effectively and I feel that if I keep myself from calling Lyssa as I have and keep from aiding her hints then I will get over her.

It would have been best if Lyssa didn’t call me on Saturday night, as now I won’t have to be writing these words but faith does work in mysterious ways and in mysterious times…

Min-Su Gets Cold Feet

Eating my food I walked back downstairs and opening the door very slowly I thought Min-Su would still be on the phone. However, when the door was opened Min-Su was just jumping off Jett as they both lay on my waterbed, which was blatant what they were doing. Min-Su called Keith’s house but didn’t get through to him and she didn’t want to call his mobile from my phone.

Not worrying I handed her the phone and started dialing but she got edgy and didn’t want to carry on the conversation with Keith. Jett and Min-Su left soon after and as I walked them to the door I was eager to get onto the phone with two people. The first was Keith, to see where he was and exactly what he was doing to ease his mind. The second person was obviously Lyssa, to carry on the conversation that she began by ringing me.

Keith at the Catholic Club

Giving Keith a call first our conversation only lasted a couple of seconds. He was at the Catholic Club with Binh and some others and taking it to heart that he didn’t bother to invite me out knowing that I was home alone I let him get back to his sobbing. “Aren’t you with Shawn playing the Playstation,” he asked but we both knew that Shawn was out fishing with Tatton.

Who Are My Friends

This dogging behavior (taking into regard that he wanted to be around his closer friends of course) brings to light a couple of thoughts that to me are now stale bread but all the more, need to be deciphered to these pages. The real question on my mind and has been since Lyssa introduced the word ‘acquaintances’ to me is “who really are my friends”.

To say I have been displaced since my disowning Naqi as my best friend would be a perfect affidavit to my life’s chronicles. Through the years I have had many best friends. Starting from Johnnie, to Imad and then to Naqi. However, ever since those days I have had no such luck with best friends let alone friendship as a whole and the most of who I hang out with now are dogs or best friends with each other.

To say that there are no two people that make up our current group wouldn’t be too far from the truth. In our group there never really was a group, just a bunch of different groups combining. At most, our current group is comprised of individuals and coupled friends who get together on occasion. Shawn is with Tatton, Keith with Binh and Noah, Tyler with Ace, Simon with Pizza Hut and Richard by his lonesome self.

Everyone has some sort of partnership within this group of acquaintances but I stand alone. Even when I go out with Pari and Osama, they are both best friends and to place a wedge between the both of them will never happen, nor do I want it to. Therefore, now without Naqi, I am destined to be alone, I am displaced from unity, from friendship, from brotherhood. I am, but a lost soul to any form of companionship and for that, I have no hindsight nor foresight for myself. There is no one that I know now that doesn’t fall between the label of being an acquaintance or no less than a dog in their own right.

Stubborn Nature and Naqi

How my stubborn nature permits me to judge oddly on occasion. Here I have admitted Keith to be my friend again, inviting with open arms all who are with him and all whom I hang out with now. However, for a simple wrong of words I did disown my best friend and still to this day I hold him accountable for his actions. To place the sinister acts of Keith and Naqi up upon podiums against each other, I would know that Naqi’s act wasn’t really one that I should have treated so harshly.

This stubborn nature of mine permitted me to disown both Naqi and Keith but my amity towards people asking my forgiveness led Keith to be part of my life again. I’m sure that if Naqi tried to regain my trust and worked his way back into my life by apologizing, my relenting attitude would take him back in as I did with Keith. However, because it has dragged on for too long and so much words have been shed, my stubborn nature will not allow my forgiveness to take effect and therefore, he will forever be shunned and disowned from me.

If Naqi wasn’t as stubborn as I and learnt to take it like a man this mightn’t have happened but I do account for it, I do warrant his actions and now my wishes to be without his friendship. What I need now is new friends, new acquaintances and new partnerships. I need to start afresh so that I have the chance to correct what wrongs once were.

Late Saturday Night

Hello then, I am now up to late Saturday night, around 8:30 p.m. where my second phone call to Lyssa was about to take place. However, we have now run out of time as I have to prepare myself for some sleep so that I can attend my interview tomorrow with Centrelink. The interview of course is to see what job that can tend me to in which I hope it will take a little while to find me a position so that I can buy a few more items of clothing.

Today wasn’t much to speak of either as all things go, it would have been the third day this month that I haven’t done anything. However, tonight I haven’t been bored, rather enchanted by these pages and the allure of relaxation. Howeverso, I grow tired and must attend to this relaxation so, until next we meet…