Cracking My Own Poetic Code (Part 1) – Mad Chaos: December 3, 1998

Poetry in the Early Morning

Here I am once again in the early morn and once again the juices of my intellect are flowing. This poem which is once again in blank verse state has been formulated because of my thoughts about Marley from Pizza Hut. Marley was pretty much a dormant issue in my mind until I once again had seen her at Pizza Hut last night and then continued to write about her in my Diary. Those thoughts coupled with my literature led me to question the accusations, the rumors and the scandalous comments I’ve heard about Marley.

Rumors About Marley

When I first laid eyes on her I was led to believe that she was a 16 year old perfect princess with a boyfriend who didn’t even know what ‘Adultery’ meant. Rumors then started to escalate about her innocence and like I’ve noted in my poem “It is easier to believe a lie than to believe in your deceptive truth.” Upon hearing Keith tell me that he’s heard a rumor from Rory that she slept with Daffa the night of the Halloween party I became angry. As also described in my poem, that anger turns to my believing rumors more and more which I would like to think were lies but can’t believe my deceptive truth.

In the last two lines the poem takes a steer away from a certain situation and makes the reader believe that the people that spread rumors and these pretentious lies are people who tend to love themselves. From judging the truth in rumors the last two lines judge the faith in morality of the fabricator. Does this person who spreads scandal have any morals or does their vanity prevent them from caring what these rumors could do to a person’s reputation.

Already these rumors have ruined Marley’s reputation towards me because every time I look at her I am repulsed by thinking she’s slept with Daffa. It would have been better if I wasn’t told these rumors by Keith but then again what is life without a little gossip. I have no doubt that she got onto Daffa that night and I probably would have more respect for her if she had only done that but if sex was involved, no respect.

Never Knowing the Truth

Of course, the only way I can truly find out the truth is if I go to the source which is Marley or Daffa and I don’t propose to do that so I guess I’ll never know. All I can do is just believe other people’s gossip and hope that it’s not a lie fabricated from one with Vanity.

People who fit into the category to be vain are Daffa and Rory. Anyway, before I drag on some more words to my Diary let me shower you with my Blank Verse and that will be it from me tonight. This Blank Verse took me around one hour to write out, that’s a fair amount of time spent thinking of the structure and wording that is required in this profound poetry piece…

Rumors surface, much created by thee,

Thou might think unlawful fabrication,

Would thou rather spread such hearsay so free,

Than to amend thy false accusation,

It is easier to believe a lie,

Than to believe in your deceptive truth,

What answers unknown to identify,

Those questions you ask of yourself in faith,

In anger, truth’s truth hath no acceptance,

And accepted is a lie that misleads,

If lies are false there is much repentance,

For truth was misled and anger’s head heeds,

‘Tis easy to judge thou with vanity,

Than to judge thy faith in morality,

A Line From September

Just before I head off there is a piece of my history that I would like to recite. Early in the morning around 5:20 a.m. on Monday morning September 7th of this year I wrote a very touching paragraph or two filled with questions marked with poetry. Until now there’s been one line in there that didn’t make much sense to me but in the same frame of mind made all the sense in the world to me. That line I have questioned the depth of meaning over many times before but finally, tonight I have cracked my own thoughts of that night and have finally found the right answer in my poetic literature of that night.

Let me now rewrite the piece of literature that I find so inspiring to myself and now that I know what it means it is all the more inspiring. “How dost my thoughts affect my creations, such masterpieces of art. Pieced is a masterpiece that collects such name when gaunt is the love that I draw so prothane. Doust such be called a masterpiece, marry, an it spoke of contrast, my love to hate ‘twould be a love so great and love would be a term as such of no entity.”

In particular one line got me puzzled in that whole conundrum, that line was ”Pieced is a masterpiece that collects such name when gaunt is the love that I draw so prothane” and that has been a mystery mainly because I couldn’t work out what ‘Prothane’ meant to me at the time.

Decoding the Prothane Masterpiece

This one line that has been so avoided of reasoning will now be reasoned in my greatest hours of mental awareness as told by my biorhythm cycles. Around this time a couple of months ago I was in the middle of ‘The Triangle’ and there was a thin line (As explained by gaunt) between my dwindling love for Lyssa and my supposed love for Jewell. Confusion was very evident in the prothane masterpiece in my mind I knew as my life back in those days.

Because I could sense gaunt love coming from Jewell and also gaunt love coming from Lyssa as she was moving on my love was also considered gaunt and meaningless to them, gaunt meaning meager. Therefor meager is the love that I draw in my mind but so Prothane do I draw that love. In my mind I have drawn the gaunt love into something much bigger than it was and that love was so intensely painted, so profound. So vivid were the colors of love drawn, so creative was that gaunt love flaunted with the artistic flair that pushed the brush in my mind to produce the masterpiece I had made it.

The masterpiece in my mind that was later shattered had been such only because of the embellishment I had made of the love between the three within the triangle. ‘Pieced is a masterpiece’ just denotes the fact that there were three pieces put together to create the final masterpiece. Rather like Jewell, Lyssa and I each being a piece of Lego in my mind and once joined together it created the most marvelous, glorious and prothane monument in my mind.

Right after when I broke up with Lyssa and everything was up in the air between Jewell and I there was no real loving going around, only embellished love in my mind. When I sent my letter and CD to Jewell that wasn’t of my love but my fixation on the fantasy in my mind, the masterpiece of love. Now we all know this masterpiece was a fake and the love was definitely not there. Everything now makes sense once you can sit back and look upon your mistakes so in parting let me now recite my famous lines once again…

”Pieced is a masterpiece that collects such name when gaunt is the love that I draw so prothane”

Thursday 6:37 a.m.

A Sun Sonnet Before Dawn

Once again I had to wake myself up because I had so much ideas in my head when I finally lay my head to rest. Luckily I brought myself onto the computer after stressing that it was too late but once again my mind has brought another Blank Verse Poem to my attention. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I’m in the middle of my Mental Biorhythm Cycle where I’m supposed to be brainy or if it’s just luck but I’ve created another greatly worded poem.

This time it’s about the sun and it’s potency to use clouds, rain and thunder against the lands that we walk upon. Mother nature is our worst enemy and here I depict the sun as being the ruler of mother natures forces, the commander of Thunder, rain and everything else that causes havoc on earth.

Of course, only earth can cause havoc too and here, Earth is seen as rather defenseless with the temptress being night time the only savior to help Earth. Becoming scared of the Sun’s plotting can only be more disastrous as when the earth is scared the ground does shake and it creates an earthquake. Well if you don’t get the story line yet let your eyes continue, they will anyway…

The Sun shineth with one hand on thy Throne

The Sun, lit so magnificently proud,

Floating amongst his blanket so sky-blue,

Summoning to his defense be the clouds,

Covering his unsightly rays so crude,

‘You shall never take too much of my Chest,

With these here clouds, I shall protect myself,

These thunderous clouds shall cover my breast,

And with this rainbow shalt show I mine stealth’,

The sun, he doth scorch the skin of dry land,

The only defense thou hast, thy temptress,

And aided by clouds doth she send thee rain,

The night is Sun’s much loathed antagonist,

Where these brave lands art scared the ground doth shake,

And to the buried lords the ground doth wake,

Thursday 8:27 p.m.

Jumping Out of Bed for Poetry

Phew, I’m glad I’ve had myself some sleep but I do stress, some sleep. Last night when I finally turned the computer off after having woken up with thoughts in my head I couldn’t turn off my thoughts. This in turn is a good thing because I came up with so much more poetry despite jumping out of bed half tired and in the nude, ten or so times after deciding to sleep. Writing down my thoughts and poetry on a piece of paper instead of turning the computer off I found that I finally slept around 7:30 a.m.