Sleepless Over Lyssa
I love Lyssa so much, so much that I can’t bear to think of living eternally with anyone else. Tonight I tried to get myself to sleep but listening to the CD that I had sent to Lyssa emotions started flowing back through my veins. Every song on that CD speaks of my true emotions and exactly how I feel and every time I hear ‘My Side Of The Bed’ by ‘LSG’ I start to reminisce and wish that Lyssa was still curled up within my arms.
Lying next to me on my floor at this time of night as I look over at her radiant face, sleeping so quietly and me, loving just being there with her. To think that Lyssa could one day stray away from me brings tears to my eyes and tonight as I lay in my bed I thought of what we had and how our love still lingers on and we both still wish we were together.
Well, at least I sit here tonight awoken from sleep because of one simple thought in my mind that forbade me to sleep ‘I love Lyssa so much’. So much that my mind scrambles with a thousand thoughts and a million memories with a million more to come.
The love I feel right now is what poetry is made of and as I woke myself up with only one thought in my mind I needed to unleash my talent, so abused in the past to distance what Lyssa and I once felt so deeply. The lesser reason that I woke up was forth of a premonition I shall scribe to Lyssa if the time shall ever be right. What Lyssa loves so much I shall give to her, the form of love where love will flatter as such.
The Great Stereo Plan
My thoughts were aided by the fact that Lyssa doesn’t listen to the CD I made for her. Rather it collects dust as the CD player doesn’t work and Lyssa is afraid to use it. For that reason my plan comes to head and what better time than Christmas or just before that. For me to spend all my money on a stereo system with speakers and a CD player for Lyssa’s room would speak enough of my love to Lyssa.
Not only will I buy Lyssa a stereo system but I will also break into her house while she is at work one day, install the stereo in her room and place my CD in the CD player leaving the top open. Next to the stereo will be Titanic the CD and on top of that will be a little letter reading something like this. Well, it’s more than a little letter but here it is anyway…
A Little Letter In Verse
I love you so much, more than life itself.
And to pass this love on shall I bequeath myself,
An abundance of love for you I hold, that needs of you an alikeness to grow,
What such a long word of sorrow to write, from one which sorrow bestows,
What such a long word of remorse to read, were it grief I repent,
With which wipes your brow of tears with hands that come only of content,
Hold my hands of regret with your hand of sympathy,
For a tender hand that does touch that of my love shall feel none but empathy,
Take back into your hands my love so warm and tender,
And know with this gift that I shall love you forever,
Respect Money And Moving On
Now as I continue to listen to the CD that came so clearly to me I pursue my thoughts of love for Lyssa. This proposal will happen with the next payment that I receive, I will start to save. Before I used to think that someone else rather than Lyssa would be able to help me get myself back on my feet, get myself a job and have some respect for myself.
The truth is I have respect for myself right now despite having nothing that I want. Especially Lyssa who I crave for daily but then I think to myself “It’s best to move on, I know Lyssa wants to”. Other people probably could help me get back on track but I am arrogant in my quests and the love for Lyssa can never be replaced.
There are hundreds of people out there apart from Lyssa that I could fall in love with in the next couple of years and the love might even be just as special as that I had with Lyssa but there is none that can replace Lyssa and what she meant to me. Lyssa was the right kind of person for me, the right attitude, the right love, the right body and the right mind of intellect.
Smiling With My Eyes Shut
Lyssa and I will be around each other for a very long time to come and the both of us will share a unique bond that none else would ever be able to get out of Lyssa. Now as I hide myself behind the lids of my eyes and try to get to sleep my thoughts will still persevere and visions shall play upon the lids of my eyes.
My lips will grasp a smile that shall gleam from my face as my eyes remain closed. That shall be my most tranquil of sleep and now is my most tranquil of mind, to speak of Lyssa as such and to know I love her. If this is what love has to offer me then let these thoughts endure for an eternity…
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
