A Pricey Sports Drink in Hurstville (Part 3) – Mad Chaos: November 1, 1998

Midnight at the Bowling Alley

To quickly announce the long and arduous night let me begin with this. There were no set plans of our night apart from Ralf wanting to head to Meridian. I didn’t feel like heading to another Night Club so suddenly and neither did Keith or Shawn. Everyone kept running everyone around and finally Keith came over my house nearing midnight. Ralf then made his way over and the three of us made our way to the Bowling Alley at Macarthur Square after deciding not to head for Meridian.

Jumping in with Ralf we parked on the grass overlooking the back entrance where everyone was lining up. The Pizza Hut Halloween party was starting at midnight and finishing at 6:00 a.m. All I wanted to do was see Marisol in her dress and I got that chance. Marisol drove down in Daffa’s car and once she jumped out I was shocked and stirred up by what she was wearing.

With some long beautiful legs on her she was wearing a Maid’s dress. Yep the one’s that are black and white and with a skirt part that would show all if she bent over. I could tell that Marisol wasn’t the pretty little flower I first thought she was and gathered that if she got onto someone like Daffa for the night she definitely wasn’t my type.

Well that didn’t happen last night because Simon was introduced to her Asian Boyfriend, yippee. Maybe that’s telling me something, maybe I should pursue other women. After all, Keith is the one that pointed Marisol out to me and to be quite honest, even though she was the hottest thing last night, because I didn’t see her to be attractive at first glance, because I didn’t pick her out I’m not that attracted to her and don’t really care that she’s taken.

Keith Bails and Ralf Drives

Keith headed home ten minutes after sitting out the front. Everyone headed inside and I got to see Simon in his Monk outfit with a big golden cross around his neck. Despite only me and Ralf now being out with Keith going home he was persistent in heading out to Hurstville. Not having anything to wear and no money to enter Ralf just wanted to drive out and check out the atmosphere down there.

That we had done and the trip there was a tad long considering Ralf kept to the speed limit and took the long way. At first I was dreading the trip to Hurstville because Ralf kept talking about nothing but after listening to the radio a bit I opened up and became loud, that’s me.

Hurstville After Dark

Reaching Hurstville after a stop at a petrol station to buy what Ralf considered an expensive bottle of Gatorade (Which cost $2.75) we parked the car and went for a walk. Meridian wasn’t pumping at all and taking a walk to a nearby pub I was surprised that it was packed mostly with Samoans and hard bodies who looked like they could handle themselves in a fight. The girls in this small but packed put were pretty hot also but because such a rowdy bunch of rough necks were around I decided against making any contact.

There was a black Samoan guy that kept talking to me and speaking to me about selling me parts of a car and Campbelltown. Then there was a guy that kept shaking our hands repeatedly through the night, it’s a homie thing. Ralf and I were just smiling at each other but as ‘Dove Shack’ finished we headed back for Meridian. Walking into ‘Thomo’s Pub’ we sat down on some seats to shield ourselves from the cold weather.

The waitress was ordinary but looked hot in the skirt and work top she was wearing. Besides that Ralf and I waited until 4:00 a.m. in the morning for everyone to come out and we were disappointed to find about 50 people step out. Walking to two girls I told Ralf to come with me so we could speak to them as one repeatedly looked over at us. Once I got there my confidence dropped and saying hello to her twice she said hello quickly and turned back to talk to her friend.

Ralf knew that was a bit nasty and that we wouldn’t get conversation out of the girls so asking them for a lighter he lit his smoke and we walked back to the car. That was basically the whole night and as we done two laps of the block we headed home and I arrived in my room around 5:30 a.m. That is of yesterday and seeming I have talked of today I shall recite something of the past now.

A Poem From July

Looking back into the days of July I came along the longest entry of that month. One of premonition and thoughts of the future that (To say the least) astounded me in how true they have become. One that amazed me the most was a poem that I recited and announced to be ‘The Hidden Poem’ which never circulated. The words did not mean much to me at the stage I had written them and the day I recited it.

These words now astound me as they speak so truly to the situation that had been at hand when I finally put an end to the lost years, the date of September 16th. As a tribute to the new month, poetry of a distant tongue so prevalent to unanswered to my years so young. To this poetry I now give understanding to my heart so content in resolution and to my mind so content in constitution.

If ever I say I hate you, you know I mean I don’t,

Whatever I’ve done to hurt you, you know I meant I won’t,

Whatever I do to love you, I do it from the heart,

For love will break the best of ties and hate will seem so dark…

Why is my life so tainted, when I think of you as gold,

Who closes their eyes in silence, let’s tears and blood turn cold,

Look into the darkness, tell me what you find,

Can you carry on in life with a figment of your mind,

Glide to me once more, let me hold you so sublime,

If you choose never to let go, I’ll hold you all of time,

All day thinking of you, all night speaking of you,

Thinking of the best of ways to tell you that I love you,

Deep into the night, you cry your tears so silently,

Looking at the stars, knowing that you love me.

Unpicking the Poem

The last six lines hold no example to the significance of today as I no longer thought of Jewell in that form after September 16th. But, seeming this silence is regarded as hatred upon Jewell and I know it doesn’t (As the first line in my poem dictates) you could probably consider the last six lines to some degree as holding significance. Maybe if the last two lines were from my thoughts and the four lines before that were thoughts of Jewell it might make sense.

‘For love will break the best of ties and hate will seem so dark’ explains how my love for Jewell broke the both of us up as lovers and friends and to hate Jewell now seems too dark and sinister to even consider. Jewell did fuck with my mind but I can never hate her. I can only accept her decision and push her from my life as I have done. The question of my life being so tainted is an understanding that everything was ruined or ruining in my life as a result of my infatuation with Jewell for so long.

Thinking Jewell was like gold to my mind when all she done was close her eyes and sit in silence, allowing tears to fall far but not to express how she felt. Jewell didn’t want to let me go, that’s why she dragged on my belief that she liked me so long, she had me convinced that what I was doing wasn’t because I was gullible.

When I ask in the next two lines ‘Look into the darkness, tell me what you find, can you carry on in life with a figment of your mind’ I appeal for just that. To look into darkness you would find nothing and that’s exactly what our relationship was and where it was headed. Jewell didn’t let it advance, she would rather have kept talking to me on the phone, kept it within limits to her happiness. Jewell kept this up and finally I asked her “Can you carry on in life with a figment of your mind”.

Ten Pages Done

As the time has now reached 1:36 a.m. and I have arrived at ten pages let me say that time waits for no man. For Jewell to keep etching into my mind “Time” brought about a patience about me that was impatient to wait. Patience for the fact that I was content with the life I had with Jewell but impatient to the fact that Jewell was persistent on talking on the phone and my imagination wanted more. Let me end there on that note and hope that I speak not of Jewell anymore. Jewell has probably only been spoken of three times since September 16th but that’s twice too much, as deep does truth hurt.