A man tossing a paper ball at a woman on a corded phone, studio photograph in the style of 1999 Sydney

Legal Tony And A Girl On The Train (Part 1)

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This is an excerpt from a real diary entry from the Diary of a Mad Chaos, written on June 6, 1999. Learn more about the history of the diary

Winter Arrives

Laid back Sunday’s, where the case is usually that I have a ton of chronology to catch up on and I’d rather just sit back and relax on my last day before work. However, today is another one of those days where I have to catch up on the whole weekend because I didn’t have time prior to this day so here we go. Just before we start, I’d like to add that I just realized last night that this month was the start of winter as we noticed plenty of fog clouds on the way home.

Winter, the death of the year in horoscope’s flavor and as the withering of Autumn had deceased what will this three months bring? The death of something is evident this month and if my losing prowess upon my broken golden fate necklace has anything to do with it then we can see what direction this month will be headed. This month I see as nothing but acceleration into a better life, through my job, new friendships created and new places visited.

Last night I went out with Tyler and Binh and along with Ace, I would probably consider the three of them associates for this new winter age. The dying of acquaintances it might be this month and the birth of new friendships and another new era will spawn. As always, it is too early in the month to predict so forth I shall wait upon my month’s title…

Going Through The HIH Book

Rewinding the chronology clock back to Friday’s attentive and mellow day at work and from its ending I shall now recite. The detail of the trip to work has been duly noted and now two nights away from my last day of work, this week, details are a bit vague. Nevertheless, I have written some of the more finer points down and from that will build my story. The day was like any other but instead of doing the morning mail I went through the HIH book with Jana who by the way is Croatian.

This talk took half an hour and after some idle gossip with everyone, I started up doing a Brief update. Thalia made her way to her new job for a part of the day and came in every now and again to type on the computer and help me out. Forgetting about most my day but caring to make it vague for the sake of simplicity (to me that’s a couple of pages these days) I shall head to my lunchtime.

Lunch Hour Clothes Shopping

When 1:00 p.m. arrived I stepped out the door and headed for lunch. Having no money at all to spend on food I knew there was only one good thing to do that would spend my time appropriately, shop for clothes. Strolling up towards the central shopping area at Pitt Street I visited Grace Bros. first to try on that polo neck jumper but I soon found out I was in the wrong shop. However, I did notice some good looking shirts fit with a tie that were around my price range and had to remember to head there on Thursday night for shopping.

There were three shops I visited after Grace Bros., those being French Connection, David Jones and that shop on Elizabeth Street just down from Lyssa’s work that sells expensive work shirts. The only reason I liked this store was because it had a great range of standing-out colors that no one else would have. One shirt in particular caught my eye and for the past week I have been walking past the shop and just glancing through the window or stepping in and thinking about trying on the shirt.

Being a white base with a slight pink tinge of color (more pink if you go through a range of different light) it has more of a purplish-whitish sense to it. The color is very close to white and I didn’t think it would make me look like an idiot because pink is in this winter and what’s more, you couldn’t really tell it was pink because it was close to a white color. Nevertheless, after trying on the shirt and then a purple tie I found after a long hard look that it wasn’t for me.

The shirt itself cost $120 and I didn’t like how it was thin material and it wasn’t loose at all and made me feel like I was wearing a cheap $10 work shirt but with a label name and larger price tag. David Jones wasn’t much better as I went in to try the polo neck sweater but I feared to put my head through the small hole because it would kill my hair.

Now I know that if I want to buy a polo neck sweater I’ll have to consider wearing it for the whole day at work because if I try taking it off my hairdo will get all fuzzy. Nevertheless, there is hope in a new shop called ‘Guys and Dolls’ that I saw on Oxford Street last night. It had a great style polo neck sweater and I know it will probably be costly but for what look it will give me, it will be worth it.

Legal Tony And The Caricature

Heading back to work and having only three more hours, I done another brief or two and then began on the afternoon mail to just whip it all in an hour. Friday was our day of fun and relaxing as Fitzroy cracked me up in the way he mucked around with Thalia. Drawing a little caricature of me and Thalia. Mine had a little guy with his thumb sticking up in approval and another hand timidly sticking behind his back with a little caption reading ‘Legal Tony’.

This name was given to me by Fitzroy when on my first use of the phone I blurted ‘Legal Tony’ instead of “Good afternoon, legal department, Tony speaking.” Thalia was seen as the bossy-boots as he drew her with her arms crossed and I can’t remember the caption but it was poking fun at her being a hard-ass. As I was laughing along with his little jokes, Thalia thought I was being converted into a slum by Fitzroy.

As Thalia noted that Fitzroy was lazy, he jokingly uttered, “Oh yeah, well let’s see how lazy I can be” and just sat at his desk doing nothing as we laughed ourselves silly. Whilst Thalia was talking on the phone with her friend, Fitzroy was crunching up paper and throwing it at Thalia, each time making it more evident he was going to throw paper and crawling around in covert ways to try and surprise her and make me laugh. The day was a cackle and I rather enjoyed it until the dying minutes.

Missing The Bus Again

Lingering until the dying stages of the work day it was finally time to go home and make amends of our plans for the weekends. Mine were simple, to just get home, relax and then see what pops up. Leaving the building behind Thalia, Fitzroy and Esme we said our good-bye’s at the front and then I was off in a hurry to the station. Catching the early train again I hoped that it would get me to Campbelltown a couple of minutes earlier so I could catch the early bus.

Last time around the only reason we were a couple of minutes late was because the train kept stopping and starting despite being partially express. This time around the train didn’t stop and start but even so, I missed the bus by a couple of minutes. With this I come to a conclusion that I can never get home earlier to catch a 6:00 p.m. bus unless I leave before the end of the day.

A Girl Who Looks Like Janice

Two stops away from Campbelltown Station I decided to begin my walk from the middle of the train to the side in which it would be a shorter walk to the bus stop incase the bus was waiting. Reaching the second last carriage I walked to the upstairs carriage and a couple of seats in I noticed the girl who looks like Janice (Goon Girl) from my work.

We both recognize each other at Campbelltown Station and then we noticed each other at work but we didn’t do much more than let out a shy “Hello” and keep with our business. Nevertheless, this time around as I was walking past and she said “Hello” I decided to respond with my normal gesture and then I asked confidently if she would mind me sitting next to her. This was a friendly gesture that I had done because I didn’t want to snob her off and keep walking.

Therefore, I sat next to her for the remainder of the trip as we started talking about work, where she lived and our plans for the weekend, normal chit-chat. Finding out that her name was Kalinda, she also lives in Elderslie, is 18 years old and she hasn’t heard of Janice before. There was no downcast attitude or lack of confidence within me as I wasn’t thinking about how great I would fare in conversation but just about chatting.

After all, we had a theme to talk about and work made it a lot easier. Taking a glance at her she did have a bit of Janice in her but I feel that she had an appeal that was also complimented by her soft spoken character. Being a tad taller than me I also found that to be attractive and hope now with our meeting that we can chat to each other more at work, maybe in the future be better work friends and then from that, know each other enough to head out to lunch together, or clubs.

Jumping off the train as we arrived in Campbelltown, I walked with her until she had to drift off upstairs to await her lady friend in a mini. Myself, I made my way to the bus stop and awaited my bus in those twenty minutes. There was nothing special about my wait for the bus or my heading home so no cards drawn there. When home for my Friday night I didn’t feel too flash about going out and after eating and before the Football game started I called some people.

Ralf Phones Me Up

Firstly I called Keith to see what he was doing but he was just sitting at home wanting to bum away the whole night. There were no plans to be mustered up with Keith so I gave Shawn a call wondering if he might want to come over and have a Playstation night but it wasn’t to be. Shawn was going to stay home and watch the Football and then the cricket after that so I decided a relaxing night at home wouldn’t be all that bad.

Keith told me whilst we were chatting away that Ralf wanted to head to the club in the Sydney Casino which was worth $20, the ‘Rock’ or something. That to me sounded like a shit idea considering I had no money and what’s more, I didn’t want to be dancing around Ralf. We’re just both too different in our styles. What else doesn’t clash when it comes to Ralf and I, and it took me weeks of hanging out and visiting shitty clubs to figure that out.

Ralf rang me later in the night and I knew his whole motive was to get me to go out with him as a pair because no one else would go but because we have this invisible distance between us, I could sense him changing his words as we spoke. I knew as soon as he said his first word that his objective was to ask if I wanted to head to the City with him but when he heard my first word, visions of my not taking his shit in the car a couple of weeks ago must have haunted him.

Ever since I stood up to Ralf in that car and put down his ego of being the biggest and therefore the meanest, our relationship has been different, tarnished if you must. Now Ralf has insecurity looming over his head in the sense that he can’t gauge me anymore with his loud behavior because he knows I will bite back and not take his shit. Therefore, Ralf toned down his conversation to the point of anxious fear, hoping not to strike a heated chord so that he would have to relive his past shames.

So I hope that will shine light on the quick contrast in his confidence to get me to come out or even ask within his first hello and my first hello. From that moment on where I could sense his trying to scurry back under a rock, he just babbled on about nothing, I mean, truly nothing. It took ten minutes for me to finally put words into his mouth about what he really wanted to say in the first place.

As usual in our conversations I had to hold the phone away from my ear with an outstretched hand to relieve some tense stress of Ralf’s constant babbling and obliviously loud vocal chords. The conversation took fifteen minutes to finally get Ralf to relent and let me get back to watching Football and believe me, there was no more finer a moment of peace than when I hung up that phone.

A Sonnet And Sleep

The rest of the night yielded a tranquil mind and a restful night. There were no hold ups, just a relaxing couple of hours in which I could do whatever I wanted. In those hours I chose to prepare myself to write a Sonnet before thinking of writing in my diary and as luck would have it, I completed one before 11:30 p.m. From the onset of my swelling juices I was fraught with unparalleled delight in words and phrases and the first two quatrains of my Sonnet were superbly warm of an Eleninovski masterpiece.

My Friday lasted through the night as I typed out pages for my diary and then with 2:00 a.m. finally arriving I decided to get myself to sleep. These eyes were tired and I grieved for a good night’s rest of at least eight hours in which I received. There were no Saturday morning blues as I woke up at 10:30 a.m. nothing but a slept-in bliss and a whole day of action ahead of me.

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Keith pushes hard to collect Byblos tickets, so Tony rings…