Meeting Clifton and His Baseball Bat (Part 2) – Mad Chaos: April 8, 1999

High Beams and a Baseball Bat

Completely in my own world as we were heading home I didn’t notice the start of what was a meeting of Clifton who is going out with Sofia. As I can scantly remember, we were behind a car and it parked on the side of the road for some reason. Looking back to view the car I noticed it pulling back out and now it was behind us and it had the high beams flashed on.

Keith gathered that the guy must have thought Simon’s high beams were on when in reality they weren’t. Keith as usual was in Simon’s ear saying things like “Slow down, piss him off and see what he does” when he knew well enough that he wouldn’t do shit if it came down to them stopping. Well, as they drove past us on double lanes the guy poked his body out of the passenger side and dangling a baseball bat urged us to stop.

“That’s Clifton” Keith shouted out and as I announced “Is it” I was still in my own little world thinking to myself “Who’s Clifton”. Finally when I noticed Sofia driving the car with that dull-witted smile on her face I knew that it was her boyfriend.

Sofia never seams to amaze me with how dumb she really is. She was learning how to drive as the ‘L’ plates were on but through the whole ordeal she had a big smile on her face. This girl is so dumb that she can’t even feel emotions, she’s always a inarticulate quirky dolt. I’m pretty sure she was smiling because she was trying to concentrate but it’s so lame that it reminds me of a constant passport photo smile. Sofia is caught in oblivion, where in her mind she is still waiting for that light to flash from the camera so she can stop smiling, it never has.

Clifton Pulls Over

Clifton had Sofia pull over to the side of the road and because Keith was in Simon’s ear once again he also pulled over. This didn’t bother me because I knew that I wasn’t going to get out of the car and challenge Clifton because it wasn’t my fight and I wasn’t going to get into an argument for Simon’s lights of for Keith’s tenacity.

As Clifton came to the car he was wearing a dark black jacket and having a black bandanna on his head he did look the part of a gangster. Making his way towards our car he was without his bat and as a strange silence entrapped our car I wound my window down.

Bending down at my window and looking in he uttered “What’s the idea of having your high beams on” and as Simon protested and Keith wound his window down he made his way to the front window. Keith didn’t have the balls to say anything and I didn’t want to intervene either but as he said to all of us “I saw you picking up the club-lock” I put my word in by saying “Yeah, and here it is right beside me”.

His next bid was to say “Come on, step out of the car if any one of you want to go me, I’ll take you all on” and I know I should have said something in the silence that ensued but I kept his focus on what he thought the problem was. I’ve learnt not to start a fight with people who won’t back me up and I know that if I had stepped out of the car the only person on my back would probably have been Shawn.

Clifton wasn’t outspoken, he wasn’t loud and he didn’t sound too intimidating but neither of us wanted to slacken his slack. With his last words he just stepped back and then walked over to his car. “Now you know why they call him Clifton” I uttered as we took off and with that Keith mentioned how Clifton could have punched at him if he really wanted to.

Looking back I noticed Sofia once again with that smile on her face, so cheesy. I reckon that if I got out of the car and put Clifton on his ass Sofia would sit in the car, grasping the wheel and the smile would not change, it would still be hard on her face.

Leaving dumb-wit and dick-wit to get back in their car we dropped off Shawn first, then Keith and then myself. Clifton was seen once again on our way home and as we had seen him Keith noted that he was only stepping out of the car because he had to make an appearance. Sofia knew who’s car it was when she was behind it and I feel that Clifton only stepped out because Sofia knew of us. Gathering that Clifton didn’t like Simon because he supposedly raped Phoenix that would have been another reason for his hard show.

What I Should Have Done

I feel that if I was in a better mind state and more at focus I could have shown Clifton off. If when he stopped I was to jump out of the car and walk up towards him with a stern look on my face he would assuredly back down from a fight. His not bringing out the bat shows he didn’t want a confrontation because with a bat he would have had to do something and not look like a fool.

Being in the car made us look less than what we are and more vulnerable and I know if I approached his car with the confidence I would have had the upper hand. Yet, talk is cheap when it comes after affrays, let us now to another.

A Thousand Skips and a Smaller Waist

Since coming home I have been watching television and then after having something to eat and doing a skipping workout I had a shower. It’s been at least a week since I have skipped and I didn’t really miss a beat but I didn’t sweat as much for my 1000 reps.

However, in the second half of my reps I did stop after each 100 reps and perform pushups. The first set was of 25 reps and then with another two reps I completed 50 reps altogether. That I feel was the next step for me in endurance which takes it a step further from just skipping longer or more intense intervals.

Measuring myself around the waist tonight just after my workout and shower I noticed a fairly dramatic improvement. I gather that my goal has been reached as I measure 31.5 inches around the waist when I suck in my stomach. However, I have gone down to almost 32.5 inches just flexing so that definitely is an improvement.

This all comes to eating less during the day because of the late time I wake up and late nights out. My schedule and eating habits makes me feel like I’m at work again where I skip meals to be on time. This life for poetry, arts and literature leads me to a skinnier thigh and a stronger heart.

Time now reaches 6:00 a.m. and as I don’t want to have another one of these really late mornings I will get myself to sleep now. However, I have elaborated upon a new Sonnet I will surely finish tomorrow and it is about the lost years. I could spend the time now to write but I would rather sleep.

Waking Too Late Again

Thursday 10:30 p.m.

Rather a lost day it has been and one that could have been if fate had played a different hand. This morning I had woken myself up at 11:00 a.m. to go to the toilet. The sun was gleaming brightly, the warm exuberance flowing but I to bed went back to sleep. The next I woke up was after a lazy couple of hours and when 4:30 p.m. arrived my day was already gone.

To think what parallel I could have been living right now if I had woken up earlier today. Although fatigue would have been within me, I could have had an experience in Campbelltown, met people or done something new. Today should have been my day to get a haircut and roam the streets of Campbelltown but it was far too late to escape the house when I finally did awake. This late routine of waking up accursed should be. However, if the late nights it brings to me does bring poetry, then lift that curse for the fortune it befalls.

Poetry in My Veins

Poetry is definitely in my veins and I know I must have said that so much in these past few days but I feel that this will be a phrase quick to become a cliché of my month. Quickly now I will recite a line of aphorism poetry that calls not for a poem to enter such truth.

It just speaks of how I write poetry with more passion and inspiration on certain days than others because of my emotional and mental influence. Although the Biorhythm Cycles have not been a good indication of when I will feel poetical lately I do hold them as an example for this next aphorism. ‘I have moods in which thoughts work, and emotions in which they roam’.

A Haircut That Never Happened

From the commencement of my waking up today I didn’t do much but the usual. The only difference was the thoughts of heading out of the house despite it being late. Knowing that it was late night shopping tonight I was going to head down to the Mall in Campbelltown and have my hair cut but I thought against it.

Thus, the night’s hours kept flagging, they kept creeping up on me and now here we are, earlier than usual. However, I feel like speaking in my Diary earlier so I can get the depiction of my latest poem out of the way before I begin on my new one.

I do find to work better on poetry when I know I have other work to complete. This little bit of confused inspiration came to me when I used to work at Martinson Engineering and even with Frank.

Despite my having work or boredom I would feel the need to write poetry and it would come out so beautifully despite knowing in the back of my mind that I am working too fast for myself. Maybe if I left the depiction until after I tried writing this Sonnet it will create a greater will to exceed in writing it. Maybe this is just jargon and it doesn’t matter whether I have a pile of other work or if my mind is completely blank.

The only thoughts worth rendering for this Diary of thought are that of my two phone calls received. Firstly there was a call from Shawn at 7:30 p.m. and his main intent was to head over to my house for the night so we could play the Play Station. Knowing that this would have been an all night thing I told him that I had my poetry to consider. Shawn ‘tisked’ and as I have explained before, acquaintances don’t understand. They pride more to mock.

Lyssa Calls Back

One hour after that phone call as I was lying down in my room and watching relaxing television I heard the phone ring once again. Suspecting it would be Keith asking me out for the night I was surprised to find it was Lyssa on the other line.

Sounding timid and shy as she said hello I lowered the dignity of my voice as usual these days and to no purpose of my own I didn’t talk too much. For days before this call I have been pondering how I would tell Lyssa off if she called me with straightforward calling her a bitch to a detailed length of how I no longer want to speak to her but I found myself humbled.

Knowing that no length of words to myself would change who I am and how I speak to Lyssa I spoke as amply as I usually would have which isn’t that much at all. Through our subdued conversation I only asked a couple of questions but from them I found out that Lyssa has been in Melbourne with her dad for the past six nights.

Lyssa decided to give me a call as soon as she got home but I gather Lyssa had a big plan. I feel that Lyssa probably said to herself on that Saturday morning “If I can stop myself from calling Tony until I head for Melbourne I will have accomplished something.” However, when Lyssa got back home and found out that I hadn’t called her since she had left it would have cut her up a bit and that would have been the reason to call.

Countless times did I sense that Lyssa was uneasy in our conversation as the level of silence was grim but it didn’t bother me. Lyssa made no attempt to apologize for any of the hurtful wounds she has delivered to my confidence and my conscience and I have a slackened self-esteem to thank her for. There was no remorse for Lyssa. Why would there be when she was the enforcer.

A Sponge Full of Hope

Our conversation lasted a couple of minutes as Lyssa also told me she’s got a couple of days off work now for Easter but I knew better than to involve myself in any activity with her. Being with Lyssa is like a sponge full of hope being twisted and turned until there is none left. Where the sponge rubs across and pleases the pleased only to be discontinued when pleasure has been consummated.

There was absolutely no emotion for Lyssa whatsoever. She didn’t make me feel sad, sorry, angry, depressed, nothing. Rather, I see Lyssa now as one who can suspend what time I give and send it to oblivion I would be most grateful to forget. Our separation of conversation is not the most by far. When Lyssa and I initially broke up and had that big argument I think it lasted over three weeks, that was an accomplishment. Why can’t Lyssa let go if I can? Maybe it’s because she likes all that I continually give to her whereas I don’t like all that she takes and never gives.