Scaring Birds With a Stereo (Part 2) – Mad Chaos: March 4, 1999

Birds Versus My Stereo

There’s a funny story I think I will now share about what happened to me in the afternoon today. Waking up at 3:00 p.m. I heard some noises right outside my window.

What the noise was and what I’ve had to put up with every now and again is birds scrapping their feet around in the dead leaves at the front of my window. Directly on the other side of my windowed wall is a very small dirt garden that runs along my whole wall and as dead leaves usually fester within there birds come along and shovel it around like dogs dig up grass to cover their shit or piss. Back in the day I used to think it was my mum raking leaves outside but one day I noticed it was those annoying birds.

After tapping on the window didn’t work to get rid of the birds for more than a minute I pondered on a way to scare the shit out of them. Sneaking over to the window I turned on my CD player and turning up my amplifier to ear deafening volume I pressed play on the CD. The bass was immensely loud and knowing that the wall would have vibrated tremendously I watched to see the reaction of the birds.

The force of instant volume so shocked the birds that one of them fell over in panic and then it fumblingly flew away. Another bird just high tailed it out of the little garden outside my window literally flying through trees and scraping itself all over. There was a third bird that jumped clear out of the way and looking up at me as the music started to pound it shit itself, quite a large amount of excrement I might add.

All three birds were horrified by the sudden surprise of resounding noise and the one who shit itself and then flew away as if mortified by his actions was the funniest. Sitting in my room laughing for the next couple of minutes at the excruciating hilarity of the situation they never did come back.

A Closed Bank and a Haircut

Concluding chronology with Wednesday, I woke up around 2:30 p.m. Knowing that I should head down to Campbelltown so I could deposit some money in the bank and get a haircut I began readying myself. Time reached 3:30 p.m. when I was finally ready and with that I headed down to Campbelltown in the fairly warm day. Fairly nourished, mum and dad had already bought food for the next fortnight, that’s nice to know.

Once in Campbelltown the time was 4:15 p.m. and hoping that the bank was still open I made my way there picking up the pace. Starting to sweat a little I arrived at the bank but to my surprise it was closing and only letting out customers. That pissed me off a little but knowing I should hurry to get my haircut I done just that.

Looking at beautiful girls on my way there I don’t think I noticed much but there were some in the hairdresser I went to. This hairdresser that’s downstairs which is now my regular hairdresser always has different people in there. No one person has ever been seen twice there in all the visits that it’s had from me.

A Scalp Massage at the Hairdresser

Asking if the hairdresser was able to fit me in she had no problem with that and placing me on a chair I had to wait for the girls to finish washing someone else’s hair. In that time I just took off my hat and twiddled my fingers looking outside. Within a couple of minutes passing I received my hair treatment as a lady around my age started to wash, shampoo and rinse my hair.

Closing my eyes for most of the time to enjoy her hands massaging my scalp I opened them on occasions so she wouldn’t think me weird to be enjoying it. This is the first girl that really rubbed her fingers into my scalp and her massaging was excellent, I felt like going to sleep right there with the warmth in my hair and the relaxing massage.

The girl who was washing my hair asked me what the sign on my chain meant and being the first time a girl has asked me about it I informed her the meaning, it was a Yugoslavian ‘T’. My haircut was next and through it I chatted with the lady that was doing my hair about songs and other accessible topics.

She done a pretty good job on my hair and it felt great once done so gladly, I paid the money. Before leaving I bought myself some more elastics for my hair because my old ones are getting loose.

Lyssa Wants to Come Early

From getting my hair done I came straight back home as Lyssa and I had discussed the night before that Lyssa would come over for Wednesday. Planning this in our conversation on Tuesday night, Lyssa wanted to come over to use my computer for typing because she was having a test on Friday to see how quick she could type. When I did eventually come home the time was 5:30 p.m. but before calling Lyssa I had urges to write in my computer.

Midst this I gave Lyssa a call and made plans for her to come over at 6:30 p.m. Now as time passed I kept typing away in my Diary but when the time arrived to 6:00 p.m. Lyssa called back once again. “Can I come over now” Lyssa whined, “I know you’re on your computer but It’ll take me twenty minutes because my mum has to go to Campbelltown first”. Still having a bit of work to finish up with on my computer I invited her over earlier anyway.

Getting Shawn and Tatton Out the Door

Seconds later I noticed Shawn and Tatton had parked out the front ready to come into my house and gathering that it wouldn’t be a good scene to have them over when Lyssa would be there soon I called her back. Lyssa wasn’t home when I gave her a call but I let it ring all the way until Shawn and Tatton were at my door hopeful she would answer. Knowing that I had work to do on my computer and Lyssa was coming over I had to come up with something to have Shawn and Tatton leave.

Remembering that Keith had called me minutes before I talked with Lyssa he wanted me to pass on a message to Shawn and Tatton that they had cricket practice. When the both of them entered my house I told them that and that I would also need my own time to type poetry on my computer. They seemed to understand as they were tossing the football around and allowing them to call Keith they soon left. That left the space for Lyssa to come over my house free and without hassles.

Toast for a Girl Who Isn’t Hungry

When Lyssa finally popped over I had finished my typing and letting her in I was in a rather arrogant mood. For what reason I don’t know but I think I just detested Lyssa coming earlier than usual and me not being able to fully take advantage of the mental energy that I had.

Before anything I ran upstairs with only good intentions and getting a piece of foam cake for Lyssa I brought it downstairs for her. Lyssa always complains that I never have good food for her to eat when she comes over and my food that I eat is boring to her.

This time I wanted to surprise Lyssa with some sweats but when I brought it down she didn’t want any of it. That upset me so I went through a list of other goodies that Lyssa might like, she didn’t want any of them. Lyssa’s excuse was that she ate before coming to my house but that doesn’t explain her bothering request later.

Bringing myself some ham and pea soup down to have as some dinner I was expecting Lyssa to cringe at what I was eating but rather she said in an excited tone “Oh, that’s the dip I love, can you make me some toast for it”. For someone who wasn’t hungry she was asking me to walk back upstairs and leave my food to get cold so she could have two pieces of toast. Looking at her like she was being a bitch I slowly picked myself up loathing the thought of having to go to that trouble.

Nevertheless, Lyssa got her two pieces of toast and dipped into my food as she ate but as usual and like everyone else, she hadn’t enough respect to clean the crumbs off my floor and bed. Why are people so inconsiderate, is it that hard to hold a plate under what you are eating or to clean them up afterwards.

Dodging Ralf’s Call

While I was upstairs getting Lyssa some toast I received a call from Ralf but knowing that he would just keep me on the phone for a pointless half an hour as he blabbed on I made it out that I was busy on the computer. Knowing that he probably wanted to come over I sprung my lies on him for the sake of my self-exile with Lyssa. Ralf wasn’t too bothered that I had to get off the phone and it was a good thing that I was upstairs as it was quiet and Lyssa didn’t have to hear any of it.

Fighting Over FHM

Having Lyssa start on her typing as she got into the door I picked up my new ‘FHM’ magazine that I had bought on the way home. Starting to read it Lyssa grabbed it off me wanting to have a look first and arrogance soon turned into anger as I wanted to read it first. Lyssa was being a bitch about it and I was just being arrogant and both together, well we didn’t get along like we should have. I’m not the only one to blame though as Lyssa acted like she had PMS through the night by doing things like that.

Timing Lyssa’s Typing

For half an hour Lyssa typed on my computer as I read the magazine and keeping out of each other’s way I occasionally showed her some interesting things in ‘FHM’ when she took her breaks. Deciding to test Lyssa but not telling her I started to time her as she typed and after two minutes and being happy with her speed I had the computer count up all the words. Doing some simple calculations I found that Lyssa had 37 WPM with no errors but I know she could have gone faster. Lyssa didn’t spend too much time on the computer as she jumped off it in half an hour and started watching television.