Choking on a Job Interview Call (Part 2) – Mad Chaos: January 30, 1999

Too Tired to Sleep

The time that Keith and Shawn finally left my house was 5:00 a.m. and I was stuck with the notion of not going to sleep in enough time to head down to Campbelltown and hand in my form or sleeping and heading in late. Since that time and into the early hours of the morning I began typing and it wasn’t until 9:30 a.m. that I stopped typing and began readying myself for Campbelltown.

Before I did I called some temping agencies from within the ‘City Weekly’ and tried to get some interviews for Monday. So far out of all the calls I had made I received three nods to head in and hand in my résumé with a possibility of an interview.

There was this one girl from Lampen Personnel that was called Elowen and as she asked for my last name she made aware that she had plenty of Macedonian friends. That surprised me as this is the third time Macedonians as a people has been introduced to me. Anyway, once I got some phone calls out of the way I put on my shoes and at around 10:00 a.m. began my treacherous walk to Campbelltown.

The Long Walk to Centrelink

The sun was out and even though it was behind clouds my eyes were not accustomed with the brightness they were being dealt. For that reason and for my very tired eyes I was squinting all the way to Campbelltown and all the way home. The trip to Campbelltown was very tiring and I didn’t sweat profusely but it started to gain on me once I reached Centrelink. The line was to the door to hand in my form but once that headache was out of the way I began my trudging walk back home. My legs started to get tired and I was all droopy coming home.

My legs were beginning to wobble around and I was struggling to keep myself walking in a straight direction. Yep, sleep deprivation was taking a toll on me and I was lucky to make it home. However, while heading home and near Bradbury shops I realized how thirsty I was and on top of that, I realized that missing one workout on purpose wouldn’t be the end of the world. Because of those thoughts I decided to miss a Gym workout only being my back anyway and with that I headed to Bradbury shops and bought some custard and some watermelon.

Watermelon Custard and Sleep

Upon arriving home the time was close to 11:30 a.m. and with this freshly brought food I cut me some watermelon and chowed down on the custard. Within the next half an hour I prepared myself to get to sleep and exactly on midday I drifted off with very tired eyes. Only an hour and a half later being 1:30 p.m. I received a phone call and what made me curious was how I wasn’t very inactive upon picking up the phone.

Nevertheless, it was Lyssa and as we chatted away I informed her how much sleep I had and then a couple of minutes later she let me get back to it. In our time of conversation Lyssa informed me that she was heading out to Ettamogah Pub for her Friday night with Penelope, Kieran, Nikita, Constantine and the rest of them. Basically that was the whole of the conversation and then I got back to sleep.

Choking on the Interview Call

Lucky for me that Lyssa called me when she did because I sensed that one of the temping agencies that said would call me later in the day would call. My hunch was correct and a minute after Lyssa and I finished our conversation Lampen Personnel called. Somewhat knocked off from my sensibility and not being all there because of lack of sleep I couldn’t answer her demanding questions easily. She asked me a range or questions regarding me wanting to be a Word Processor but I started to go downhill when she asked “What sort of work have you done before.”

At any other time this would have been a relatively easy question to answer but I had to have her hold on so I could get out my resume and read what I had done, I drew a blank. Then she asked me a question that completely stumped me and that was “Why did you quit your last job.” All I had to say was the truth and that would be that I was on a Jobstart course where I had to jump off at a certain time. Instead, I choked on my own words not knowing what was going to come out my next.

I kept rephrasing her questions repeatedly and then I came up with the excuse that I had a long night last night and I was just woken up. She didn’t sound all too sympathetic and went on questioning me so I finally asked unconfidently if I could call her back later. Basically she said I could when I had myself sorted out and she hung up the phone on me. From that phone call I drifted back to sleep and then when the time arrived to 4:00 p.m. I woke up. That was just under four hours of sleep, not much.

Small Wins and a Sore Tooth

Earlier in the day I had called Centrelink to see if they could put a halt to the payments I pay fortnightly on my advance payment. They finally called me back that afternoon and chatting to one of the staff I had the repayments cut from $24 to $10. So now instead of getting $120 I receive $134. That to me is a minor victory and a great help to pay off my bills but tonight I have a new problem.

Just ten minutes ago I started developing an empty ache in my right hand side bottom molar. It has a hole in it and it has been like that since I’ve taken out my other tooth. I think that because of the custard I ate and then not brushing my teeth right after my tooth became weak and now it has an empty sort of hurt.

Where you could sense with your tongue that the nerves are just a millimeter into your tooth, where the rest has decayed and you only have a few more days left until your nerves are raw. On top of my call to Centrelink I made a call to the RTA and inquired about a Proof of ID card. Basically, the first time it is free so today when I wake up I hope to go out there and get it.

Almost Caught Up

Anyway, I’ve explained half my day already but I still have the events of tonight to talk about. But, I am too tired right now as the time has crept up to 4:40 a.m. and I am in dire needs of sleep. So, chronology is just that small step from completion and I’m sorry I couldn’t get it done tonight but hey, life goes on…

Saturday 4:05 p.m.

Hello, well I’m back to my old tricks again and for those old tricks I must once again vow how good a job I am going to do on chronology. This lapse of chronology has been going on now for around two weeks and it’s getting beyond a joke so I must get up to date here. Now, when I left it last we were chatting about Friday, just waking up at 4:00 p.m. from a day before that lasted until midday. Let us start a new paragraph.

Lyssa and the Space Comment

Concluding Friday and after all the phone calls I made I gave Lyssa a call at 6:15 p.m. like I said I would. Lyssa once again informed me that she was headed out to Ettamogah Pub and when asking me what I was doing I unenthusiastically noted that I didn’t feel like going anywhere. As we started talking about Lyssa’s whole weekend I noted to her that I probably won’t get to see her for the weekend and how I probably won’t speak to her for Saturday.

Well, so far she hasn’t called me and figuring she’s up in Penrith right now there’s no chance I will receive a call, doesn’t matter. “I was going to sleep over your house tonight after the Pub but I didn’t know if you wanted to” Lyssa announced. Thinking that Lyssa had to get up early on Saturday I noted “You couldn’t anyway because you have to get up early.” Lyssa sounded impassive and defeated in her next comment when she said “You need your space anyway.”

Fears About Parting Ways

Lyssa has taken this situation seriously and to heart. This situation of me treating her less in conversation and when she comes over simply because I don’t want to try anymore. Lyssa was defensive at one stage but now she’s impassive towards the situation and probably sees it as me trying to break our bond up nicely in order for the both of us to part ways. In a way I am trying to do that but initially I just wanted to stop giving my all to Lyssa as much because she did not return the fire.

Lyssa pissed me off sexually and I can say with honesty that I don’t get satisfied anymore sexually from Lyssa. What’s a hand when I have one as well and what’s fleeting excitement when I can have measureless orgasms. Sometimes when I think of Lyssa and I finally parting our ways and being single in body and mind it scares me. It scares me knowing that I have to find someone else to love me just as well and it scares me to know that this someone has to be a person I would like to marry.

Marriage itself doesn’t scare me but knowing that I could have been married with Lyssa and then living the rest of my life without her and not finding that special girl would be a loss. But, Lyssa and I didn’t agree on many things, we were too different to each other and I wasn’t satisfied with the effort and attention Lyssa gave to our sexual exploits. Also, I would never get married or stay with someone simply because there’s nothing out there better for me to grab onto.

What kind of a man would it make me if I couldn’t find someone to marry in four years and I decided to give Lyssa a call to get married to her. It would make me an act of desperation but I would know that the marriage would be there waiting for me. Before Lyssa I didn’t have these fears but I hope in some time a girl just as beautiful or in different ways to Lyssa will once again take my heart of poetical love and this, my artisan’s hand.