Fate, it really does work wonders upon the human soul. Just two nights ago (Which I still haven’t recorded) I found myself to hate Phoenix again and just last night I realized that Phoenix wasn’t worth the hassle to get onto. How did I realize that, well along with fate, it was the fact that I spent the night with Lyssa and that made me realize what I could have in respect to a partner and what I could have with Phoenix, which is bad sex and no respect. The same thing happened when I just got over Jewell. Phoenix came over my house with Tabitha and as Jewell called me on the phone I realized I was making a big mistake thinking back on what I could have and I basically told Phoenix to fuck off, same situation here. Now last night was a pretty important smooth flowing night so I think I will write about that now before my last two days of excitement are yet to be explained.
Now as I have just viewed the movie that I hired and we didn’t watch yesterday and as I listen to my music, I concentrate on my wonderful night last night. Let me begin from when I arrived back home and as soon as I got the news that Lyssa called me, I gave her a call back. The time was 8:30 p.m. that I got home and gave Lyssa a call, Milton and Kieran were both at her house but she was eager to speak with me. While talking Lyssa informed me that she tried coming over yesterday at 3:00 a.m. in the morning and right then I knew that Lyssa wanted to come over my house and let her emotions take over. Lyssa didn’t inform me of her Saturday night at Camden and she didn’t even ask me about my Saturday night which was good in a way. Lyssa would have gotten upset again if I told her I was at Penrith Panthers and then if I mentioned that Phoenix came with us, watch out. If I told Lyssa that I got real angry with Phoenix and made her cry (Which I still have to write about) then maybe her ideal of me would have been better.
Sticking my thoughts into the air to circulate I told Lyssa that if she liked she could come over for Sunday night and we could watch a movie. I’m not sure why I came up with that but I think it was because Lyssa told me she tried coming over early Sunday morning at 3:00 a.m. Our conception of our night was in the air and as we toyed with ideas we came across some fundamentals. If I walked to Bradbury shops to rent a video then Lyssa would come over and watch it but she boasted that she would catch a taxi home later in the night. Even if I didn’t get a movie I told Lyssa to come over and she told me she would.
Our carnal passion’s made the both of us lust for our night of togetherness as both of us were lustful and eager to see each other but not admitting what we really wanted of the night. Walking out of the house with the thoughts of hiring a movie I lent money off my mum and as it started to sprinkle and with the excitement running through my veins I started to jog to the shops. The rain became a little heavier as I progressed to the shops and once there I noticed the Video Shop still open. That gave me a vote of confidence but I just hoped that the $35 fine on my card would not be a deterrent against my bid to hire a movie. There were four movies in contention against each other. ‘Boogie Nights’, ‘Fallen’, ‘Titanic’ and ‘The Man In The Iron Mask’. Each time I would see a movie I would pick another because it looked better and finally I picked ‘Fallen’. Walking to the front counter I talked my way into renting the movie and paid $1 off the fine. The lady was nice to me though and she wouldn’t have cared if I had paid or not.
Now with the key to our night in hand I was content knowing that Lyssa would at least be coming over and I was satisfied with the fact that we would only be there as friends if Lyssa chose that path. Only in a shirt, the rain started to saturate the fibers clinging to my body. The warmth of the day at the beach held itself within my body and I wasn’t cold at all but I thought I would job half of the way back home anyway, let’s just say I was looking forward to seeing Lyssa at my house. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen as soon as Lyssa came over my house but I was hoping that Lyssa and I could once again find each other in a tangle of touches, a sweep of kisses and an erogenous evening of pleasure. So indulging that none could equal the moment of climax and our thoughts would not be upon what wrong we done but how long it was not done for. Last night I considered our actions needed, not wrong and certainly not bad but the downfall is today, the aftermath…
Back at my house I gave Lyssa a call and telling her the movie that I had rented she told me she would be scared to watch that movie. Lyssa promised herself she would never watch ‘Fallen’ but she was on her way to my house within the next half an hour. That’s when I started to prepare for her arrival and after my entry in the Diary last night I had myself a quick shower, brushed my teeth and awaited her arrival. There was food waiting for me to eat and I was relatively hungry but I decided against it. That could have been a downfall because I was stuck with bad breath for the night but because of that bad breath fate took it’s place and the night turned around, more about that later.
When Lyssa actually arrived at my house I was lying on my bed with jeans, my black button shirt with two buttons off and my hair still wet from the shower. Surprising me by walking in I didn’t hear her at the door knocking. Sitting on my waterbed we started energetically or at least I did. ‘Dumb and Dumber’ was on television and as we talked and glanced over from time to time at the television I threw out the copy of FHM with ‘Caprice’ in it. Lyssa seemed to think that ‘Caprice’ had an ugly face but her body was hot so we checked out the book for our opinions. Lyssa glanced over at the shoes for work and into my wardrobe at my new shirts that I have bought for work and that brought the topic of how I’m now looking for work. It’s not a strenuous amount of search yet and I’m supposed to be in the City right now at some temping agencies but obviously Lyssa stayed over my house, maybe tomorrow.
Acquainting ourselves with each other Lyssa lay on my bed ready to watch the movie and as I turned the movie on and the light off I asked Lyssa if she did mind me jumping on the bed next to her for good measure. Lyssa told me that I should lay on the floor being sarcastic and going along with it for a joke I did. “I was only joking” was uttered from Lyssa’s mouth and jumping off the floor the game was over and I lay next to Lyssa. As soon as the starting credits came onto screen and the writing was all gothic Lyssa already started getting scared.
Now was the time of sense, the time of touch and the lead up to our comfort around each other. Lyssa had some ‘Calvin Klein’ perfume on, only a slight fragrance. Myself, I tried to keep my distance from Lyssa. The way I figured, if Lyssa really wanted more than friendship for the night she would show it and she did. Lyssa is easy to read and for the past couple of days since Tuesday or so I’ve noticed a change in Lyssa and I knew since then she was missing me and wanted more than friendship. While we were lying down on my bed Lyssa would make the conscious effort of touching me, either with her feet or arm. It was only little but it was enough for me to realize and I too joined in the game but never put my hand around her, only the same as what Lyssa had done, maybe less. The movie started getting scary to Lyssa’s liking and she turned to face me on the bed and said she couldn’t watch anymore.
Lyssa and I began talking about my visit to the beach and how I got a tan. Asking to see my tan I told Lyssa that it was too dark for that but I tried to show her the tan on my hand. Holding her hand to mine we noticed a difference. Lyssa and I then started watching the rest of the movie and while that was happening I undid the buttons of my shirt because it was bothering me as I was lying down on my Chest. Lyssa couldn’t bear to watch anymore and as we turned off the video we started to watch the end of ‘Dumb and Dumber’. Both of us knew what we wanted out of that night in our heads, it was just the game of getting there.
Diary Of A Mad Chaos is a daily diary written from March 1996 until today, of which individual books and book series have been created, namely “The Lost Years” an exploration of young, entwined love, the “Wubao In China (猎艳奇缘)” book series which provides an extensive comparative analysis of the cultural differences between Eastern and Western societies, and the book titled “Foreigner (华人)” an exploration of race relations in Australia.
