Tracksuit Pants and a Sneaky Shawn (Part 2) – Mad Chaos: March 19, 1999

Thinking Best in the Dark

These past few days and weeks I have noticed a startling difference in where my thoughts are conjured. No more does the shower bring me appraisal of poetical thoughts but rather, mostly I am blank of ideas in there and no longer feel the need to rush out and write poetry down. Instead, most of my inspiration comes from thinking in the dark, when I am just about to drift off to sleep. In these minutes before I drowse off I am at the peak of my concentration as I have no distractions, only my thoughts.

This happened to me last night in such a way that I had to start on my computer and it’s not the only time I’ve had to do this. The truth is that thought besets me from many variances now, from showering, walking, typing and drifting off to sleep.

A Pickup Line for Medieval Times

Before I go on explaining my day and then explaining the annotation for these two latest Sonnets let me recite another short little aphorism that I have written.

Now the first line, I am not sure if it’s used with Shakespeare or if anything similar has been used but I feel that I have heard it somewhere. Therefore, I don’t use these lines in one of my Sonnets in fear that I will be plagiarizing other works of art and thus, it will deem me artless. It also follows a same path of another Sonnet I have written for the lost years so for both reasons of concern I have thought not to give it much attention. However, it would have been a great pickup line in the Medieval Ages…

Beauty have never I known till today,

And she sits before me as an angel

Rain Calls Off the Mall Trip

Now to speak of the rest of my day after getting to sleep, I woke myself up at 1:30 p.m. to give Keith a call. Feeling that he was my best chance to get out of bed with only four hours of sleep so I could look for tracksuit pants I rang him up and as he was with Tamsen he told me he would come over around 4:00 p.m. so we could go shopping.

Sounding good to me I got back to sleep and when that time did come I heard a car out the front of my house but what’s more, I heard tumultuous rain pouring outside, it was intense. Not wanting to jump out of bed and encounter such a raging rain I tried calling Keith to cancel our trip to the Mall and as I told him my reasons he understood and then was off without me having to walk to his car.

Despite my not heading anywhere with Keith I jumped out of bed from a relaxing sleep and wondered what I was to do for the day. Five minutes after my pondering I received a call and wondering who it could be I picked up curiously, it turned out to be Ralf.

With the rain still pouring he asked if I was headed to the Gym or anything but as I told him I wasn’t we made plans to head to Campbelltown. While there Ralf could get all that he wanted and I could peruse for my tracksuit pants. Within ten minutes Ralf was over my house and for the first time in the new year I felt the need to put on a jacket, my old mischievous one. However, once I jumped into Ralf’s car it was back off with the jacket never to be used again, it wasn’t needed.

Hunting Tracksuit Pants

Talking the talk and talking and talking we made our way to Campbelltown Mall, talking and talking. Lord crap-mouth parked his car in a celibate part in the parking lot where there weren’t much cars around. Making our way into the Mall we headed first to K-Mart downstairs and as Ralf looked around for deodorant to buy I noticed a fairly attractive girl who stared at me as much as I did her. Gathering that it was the cargo pants and black bonds shirt with the blue hat on backwards that did it I was pleased with how I dressed for the outing.

Checking sports stores for myself I couldn’t find anything arguably in my price range of $50, there were no sales on. When Ralf was done with his fart-assing around we headed up to Macarthur Square where we mostly checked out sports stores but apart from some lesser attractive cargo pants that I tried on I found nothing appealing. There were some sweatpants that I liked but I had to add on half more of what I had to equal it.

When we were finished there we drove to Auto-Barn just down the road as I walked down a bit to check out another sports shop but it was closed. From there we headed to the Road Pantry where Ralf bought himself a drink and the last trip was to my house. On the way there Ralf was trying to persuade me to head to Carmen’s but I didn’t want it to be just the us two.

Thus, our night was uncertain and we felt as if nothing was going to be happening for our night. “I’ll give you a call if anything pops up” we said to each other and then I made my way out the door and back home.

Lyssa Fights With Her Family

When I did arrive home it was getting on in time and giving Lyssa a call at 6:00 p.m. she wasn’t home yet. An hour later I gave her another call and this time she was home but didn’t sound very happy once getting on the phone. When we broke it down it turned out that Lyssa was having another fight with her mum and brother.

It all started when Kuper came home on Thursday night and started acting like he owned the place. Closing the pages of Lyssa’s newspaper on her and slamming the fridge door closed as Lyssa held it open, he was being a colossal prick. When he slammed the fridge Lyssa got blamed for it because she believes that her mum likes Kuper more, she always has. Lyssa got pissed off at the both of them and then Kuper tried to break her arm as he twisted it.

The next morning when Lyssa was getting a lift to the station her mum slapped her and she slapped her back. “I know I shouldn’t have done it but I was just so infuriated” she said “But mum hit me back after that anyway”.

Apart from the dramas at home, Lyssa having her periods and with her mum now putting on the hard word of kicking her out Lyssa told me about another troubling tale. When Lyssa went out last weekend for Nikita’s birthday in the City she told me some newly realized news.

Was Her Drink Spiked

I might have written about how Lyssa started to feel all weird on that night and how at one point her whole mouth went dry and she had to grip her tongue with her teeth because she was fearful she might swallow it. Well, after talking to several people at several times about the incident and fearing that Lyssa’s drink might have been spiked everyone that had had ecstasy at one stage told Lyssa that someone had spiked her drink with that substance.

This shocked me and made me angry for someone taking that purity away from Lyssa, she was now unchaste to drugs as of someone’s stupid prank. Immediately I thought that some guy must have spiked her drink feeling that he might get lucky with her because ecstasy makes you horny but Lyssa was out of that pub pretty soon after she arrived. Lyssa broke out in a little giggle as she remarked “Those E’s cost seventy dollars and when I walked out that door he must have seen his investment walk out with it”.

Running Out of Plans

Through our casual conversation I found that Lyssa had no real plans for the night and telling her that I had nothing solid also I offered for her to come over my house, not a strong offer. Jett was heading to the movies with Min-Su where he bumped me off, Shawn wanted to come over and play the Play Station, Keith was working and Ralf was heading to Eastwood to check out some place.

If it’s one thing I’ve learnt with this group is that they fatigue an idea beyond fatigue. For example, our heading to ‘Subway’ to play cards was fun at one stage but now I dread to think of it and that’s why I don’t go much anymore. Same with Shawn’s wanting to come over with Play Station, I know he’s going to stay for the whole night and we’ve done it so much times it’s not funny anymore.

Knowing that I had vacancy for my night I allowed Lyssa an option which we developed further in the night. Lyssa was just afraid that she would start an argument with me as she has been fighting with everyone on her periods but assuring her that I would be nothing but hugs she was happy to come over. Lyssa right now would be out with Ali and Penelope just driving around but she told me that she’d find her way over to my house when her short night with them was over.

Dodging Shawn

Much farting around and shifting has been made tonight. Making a pact that I would say I was going out with Ralf to Shawn I gave him a call and told him that so I could stay home in peace. Ralf noted that Shawn would try calling him soon after and that he did, right after ringing my number by mistake, busted!

In no way did I say to Shawn that Ralf or I invited him but he rang up Ralf and said, “When are you picking me up”. Ralf called me soon after that call and laughed about how desperate and sneaky Shawn was. His jest for the night was to pick him up and then tell him that I wasn’t coming which is the only reason Shawn would have been going.

Ralf then told me the test was to see if Shawn would say “Nope, I don’t feel like going anymore” and head home to call me later or if they would still go to Eastwood Hotel. Everyone should be out by now as the time is 9:45 p.m. and I still have to have myself a shower and have my food to eat that is staring me in the eyes as we speak. Yet, this Diary entry has fickled my thoughts and made them burdensome in that I can’t stop.

The night and chronology to date has been explained, there is none more to explain and all I need do now is the part I feel a tad of loathing for. It is time to add annotation to the last two Sonnets but before I do this (If even in this entry) I will include two more little points.

Last night when Keith, Shawn, Tatton and Simon went to ‘Subway’ they opted to play first to 30 games but Tatton didn’t like that and started walking home. Taking up the Young Indiana Jones depiction of me he didn’t make it very far in half an hour which is when the rest of them left. Tatton wouldn’t jump in with Keith but he did jump into Simon’s car who seems to be acing a buddy-buddy with Shawn. Apart from that, Keith came to my house on Thursday at 3:00 p.m. and woke me up for a minute.

How I Taught Myself Old English

Now back to rhetorical language, if you take a stroll down Diary Lane you would find that inexperienced was my hand in language, literacy and I lacked knowledge of synonyms and Old English. The first time I ever tried my hand at poetry was with ‘Dawn-Tinted Love’ which I wrote to Jewell and as I was just a dabbler in poetic finery it lacked much but was still and still is a masterpiece of its own accord.

Soon, I started to learn about Blank Verse Poetry and trying my hand at more Old English poetry the lack of knowledge in such a language led me to mistake some words for others. Then, I started to become self-taught in Old English as I borrowed books of Shakespeare from the library and I believe my first great book was ‘The History Plays of Shakespeare’.

The language didn’t make much sense to me and it didn’t have annotation so I found it hard to read. As I read on I came to conclusions about the definitions of some archaic terms and like it was a school assessment I wrote down what I wanted to learn.

The first words of Old English that I began to learn and dabble with were words like ‘Thou’, ‘Thy’, ‘Thee’ and I overused the word ‘Mine’ as a substitute for ‘My’. Archaic forms of expressing myself was who I was and I know I didn’t copy anyone else’s work (Particularly Shakespeare, my only inspiration) but rather, I worked on my own style eventually bringing it to today’s distinction. My inspiration at first was Jewell and boredom at work created the songs that I wrote.

Then, inspiration came from my want to study poetry in the Old English format and that’s how Shakespeare became dominant to me. In the earlier days I thought ‘Thy’ meant the first person meaning which is ‘I’ but I soon learnt it to be the possessive tense of ‘You’ being ‘Your’. With loneliness and a broken heart being my inspiration I continued my quest for knowledge in poetry and after I picked up my first book, knowledge just snowballed from there.

Now Old English is just another accessible language to me and to be honest, I love it more than Modern English. The poems that I had written had already a vast amount of Old English style amongst them but I knew with my recognizing this form of archaic language into future poems I couldn’t shake off and didn’t want to shake off Old English. Sonnets became more sophisticated with more study into English and rhetorical devices to improve the message I am trying to get across. Now I am halfway down with that snowball but being an amateur to Old English, that’s old news now.