Lying to Lyssa About Payday – Mad Chaos: April 24, 1999

Wishing for More Money

Life is so rewarding, yet, life without the detriment of money would be so much more rewarding. There are so many things I want to accomplish in life but I am plagued with a lack of money. My aim in life is not to make as much money as humanely possible but I want to spread my accomplishments to the world.

Money is only a consolation when it comes to doing what I do best and having people share in my wealth of knowledge. These odd hours I wake and sleep, they help in the overall process but right now, I wish I were a tad more normal. Here I write as the sun rises and tonight I sleep when the sun sets.

Three Things That Make Me

Just having had myself a shower I had plenty of time to gather thought about my life and prospects. During my cleansing and relaxing period I came to a common conclusion about the novelties of my life. Three main ingredients make me who I am.

First, there are superlative forms of literature, the erstwhile collaborations to music and the more modernly recognized aspects of art. Within literature I branch out to Poetry, reading Old English, writing in my Diary, my will to be employed as a word-processor and my strive to complete a four year Diploma for English.

Then there are the phases of music I have gone through. With the forthwith obsolete piano playing, listening to CD’s, writing lyrics, producing songs and my one time fascination of being an Audio Engineer. This I feel was my favorite pastime and I had many prospects for my piano playing but it was ceded by my love of literature.

Within music I had much idiosyncrasies when it came to what type of music I preferred. There was rap and R & B and in contrast, I would love listening to classical music. Then there was the time I headed to see ‘The Phantom Of The Opera’ and I would love to go see another play again, urged on by my latest cravings for Shakespeare.

Lastly, I have the branching off of art which includes Photography, Graphic Design and my elapsed pastime of drawing. All in all, everything explained here as my non-lucrative operations have something to do with the artistic side of me, the only side of me.

Sleeping Through Keith Calling

Yesterday afternoon I tried to keep myself awake for as long as possible but I found that sleep caught up with me at 5:30 p.m. Hoping that I would be able to last until at least 8:30 p.m. wasn’t eventful. Sleep however was great on my waterbed, I didn’t feel uncomfortable whatsoever.

Well-nigh of 7:30 p.m. I received a call from Keith who wanted to see if any plans were to be made for the night. In disbelief that I was sleeping he uttered something about the possibility of me being sick and he subdued to end our conversation. Let me tell you, sleeping at these times of the afternoon is great on relieving stress because I don’t have to worry about what time I wake up.

Usually I try to prolong my sleep until well into the morning, which is helpful, but I wake up at nominal times. Tonight I had myself my normal eight hours worth of sleep and it didn’t phase me when Lyssa called at 1:30 a.m.

Lyssa Rings at Odd Hours

How well did I know that as soon as I gave Lyssa some slack by meeting with her in the City she took the whole rope to try and lure me in. Lyssa and I didn’t talk for almost two weeks after our argument and then for a couple of days more after I treated her rudely on our first phone call. After I met with Lyssa in the City for lunch she saw that open door and decided to slowly ring me more often.

Here now is the end result of Lyssa’s usual behavior, ringing me at odd hours of the night. The regard of Lyssa’s call was because she was sitting at home bored and wanted to chat with me which is a pretty lame excuse.

Seeing this as an opportunity to ask her about her night, she told me that she visited the Catholic Club with Penelope and DJ. From there, Penelope went home to attach herself by the hip to Ali while DJ and Lyssa headed to the cheaper movies. That to the best of my knowledge was the end of their night and from there Lyssa headed back home.

Confused as I was while waking up from my slumber Lyssa asked, “Did you get paid today”. Pausing for a second I realized that Lyssa had called me earlier on Friday morning which pretty much was the same day. In our conversation and while I was lost in my will to sleep I remember telling Lyssa that I was supposed to get paid on Friday but now I know that it was Friday. That confusion was why I paused for a split second but carrying on with my white lies, I advised Lyssa that I hadn’t been paid.

“Oh shit,” she cried out as she paused for a couple of seconds. Despite her beaten hopes of having a memorable weekend she didn’t despise me in any way. With talk of money quickly over we began chatting anew but this time Lyssa turned her plights to a more insinuating subject.

“I think we should plan to spend a day together soon” she suggested and adding “Do you think that’s a good idea”, I paused for a moment. “I don’t know” I blurted after a couple of seconds and with my discouraging remark Lyssa concluded “I’ll take that as a no”. This pretty much was the end of our conversation as Lyssa told me she had nothing more to say. Despite my trying to hold onto our conversation I gave up to her childish dejection and hung up.

Planning Everyday Living

Since my conversation with Lyssa I’ve had myself something to eat, watched television, had a shower, done some exercise and now here I am. Speaking of the exercise, I allowed myself do some crunches, some bicycle kicks and lying torso twists which really worked well. This recent extension to my wanting to keep fit sparked off some more deliberation upon that subject.

Just before having a shower I looked at my body in the mirror and noticed that it still had some fundamental qualities connected to muscle. As a result of eating less I have become a tad skinnier but those estimations would have tripled if I had kept at skipping and working on my abdominal area.

With these new revelations came the conception of creating a separate daily diary, thought of weeks ahead. Just like I had a plan when I went into the Gym, I want to create a plan for everyday living. If only for a week, apportioning daily workouts, when I eat, how long I sleep, when I work on my data compilation, diary entry and when I read would be a great schedule to keep. These preplanned activities will help me plan some days in the City, it will allow me to prepare for certain activities in the day and not leave me thoroughly belated.

A Hole in My Molar

Consider my chronology up-to-date because I don’t have additional chronology to add. However, I will take this opportunity to inform myself and the rest who read this that the main molar on the right bottom side of my mouth (The one with the hole) will soon deal me discomfort. Discomfort may be a fair few months from now but the hole is enlarging and I can just feel the tooth begging to ache. It feels hollow enough and I have already started to eat predominantly on my left side. Suffering befalls a beggar before salvation and I, momentarily without money will suffer if my tooth were to hurt.

Why April Was a Letdown

These entries are starting to lag in direction lately. This is due to a bunch of reasons but mainly it includes my preoccupation with the Diary, my lack of interesting or even eventful days and my temporary loss of enthusiasm to charter new heights in these chapters. This month on all posts has much been a letdown as much as it has been an inconsistent venture. Whatever good did happen this month was either bitten on the ass because of overuse or they started with a flourish and then ended just as credibly.

If any praise should herald the clouded days of April it should be within the enthusiasm that the first couple of days brought. As usually happens in all my months, there are two portions to conclude a successful month.

There are the initial days that are fortuitously gratifying and those succeeding that lead to the downfall with such effortless demise. Each month is sustained by an equilibrium of both gratifying and malcontent days. Usually I can exhaust three weeks of a month before deterioration sets in but it seems this month was doomed within the first couple of breaths.

The Good Days Before the Plague

This whole month has had some sort of burden floating over each successive day which gives the impression that misfortune besets me successively. However, the first couple of days are assumed the healthier segment of this month, the Band-Aid that was torn off. Despite the continuant disquietude of Lyssa not having called me, my literary shades were blooming. Not only did I create four Sonnets within days of each other but I enjoyed my first-ever visit to a Football game and I was intensely reading ‘Edmund Ironside’.

However, the fall of plague reared its ugly head after the fist week of my promising month. Visits to Subway were the only places I was going which were getting boring fast. There have only been two times our group has made a night of things.

One of them was when I headed to Eros Theatre for Jett’s birthday and the other was my last trip to a nightclub with Ralf. Both of these hopeful trips started out with optimistic beliefs but they were tainted or scorned in some way.

Add to these woes the events of my chain breaking, Lyssa speeding up her calling habits and my luckless attempts to work again and you have the tumbling decline formerly explained. The only consolation to my finding work and blundering it was that I got to sit at my fig tree haven but even that wasn’t without its fallout. The first attempt there was a guy lying there which aggravated me and the second time the spot was free but it was short lived.

The accursed days did befall me around the 8th of this month. Where I probably got the news about a job I thought was good luck, where my chain broke, the nightclub mishap and the bad ending to Eros Theatre.

From the time after I had accustomed myself to working, I did embark upon some restless nights playing Madden 99. This in turn triggered off the beginning of my late nights and it brings me to the conclusion of sleep deprivation I have today. Now I still have nothing to look forward to in these dying days of the month but I can embrace what salvation I have and give rebirth to the conception of this month.

Caprice and My Old Bike

There are still many dreams I wish to speak of but dreams are not what make these hours rush past. Just quickly before I depart back to working on data I have two thoughts.

The woman across the street I call Caprice, I no longer see her around. I guess the days of intrigue are past me now resulting from my fascination of other things. The dream then of fixing up my bike and riding kilometers upon kilometers a day is the other detail. It does not need much word as I have put collaborative thought in these pages so much times before. I will now mask myself of words that speak only in mind’s eye and adjourn until preceding calls me forth.